Vietnamese brides’ struggles after divorcing South Korean husbands

Seven years ago, Kim Oanh left her home and her marriage to a South Korean man, venturing into an uncertain future with her two children in a foreign land. "All I had left was South Korean citizenship," recalls the 42-year-old from Tay Ninh, whose dreams of a better life had crumbled.

Oanh, raised in a poor family, had hoped that marrying a foreigner would offer her a way out. Through a matchmaker, she wed a man 12 years older than her, a factory worker in Hwaseong city, Gyeonggi Province. The couple got married in 2009, having only known each other for a month.

Life in South Korea, however, grew increasingly challenging, especially after the birth of their two children. Her husband was short-tempered, controlling, and lazy, leaving Oanh to shoulder all the financial and caregiving responsibilities. She worked at an electronics assembly plant, earning three million won (around $2,237) a month, with 12-hour workdays.

Their financial struggles and family pressures led to frequent fights. Her husband often took out his anger on their children, prompting concerned neighbors to intervene. In the winter of 2017, one neighbor advised her, "If you can't live like this, leave."

Oanh eventually filed for divorce and moved into a small apartment about 30 kilometers away, paying 600,000 won in rent. With no one to rely on, she juggled taking care of her children, who were both in primary school, and working temporary jobs. Her ex-husband provided no financial support, and she received only a 300,000 won government subsidy for childcare.

Unable to afford a helper, she took up temporary assembly work, doing jobs at home late into the night while caring for her children. Her health deteriorated, and she lost five kilograms in just a few weeks. Her income barely covered rent, food, and school fees, and when her children got sick, she had to borrow money.

Four years ago, Oanh’s mother came from Vietnam to help, but with no knowledge of Korean and unable to drive, her mother could only assist with household chores. Additionally, her mother had to return to Vietnam every three months for her visa, adding to Oanh’s financial burden. "I felt lonely, ashamed, and deeply sad, but I couldn’t go back to Vietnam," Oanh admits.

Her children were used to life in South Korea, didn’t speak Vietnamese, and would struggle to adapt if they moved to Vietnam. Besides, her hometown’s farmland in Tay Ninh wouldn’t offer the economic opportunities she needed to raise her children.

Despite the overwhelming difficulties, Oanh stayed in South Korea. Her experience is not unique among Vietnamese women married to South Korean men.

A recent report from South Korea’s Ministry of Gender Equality and Family shows that, as of 2023, Vietnamese women accounted for the highest proportion of intercultural marriages (33.5%) in the country, followed by Chinese (18%) and Thai (14%). Divorce rates among these couples are rising, with 6,000 cases reported in 2023 alone. A majority of Vietnamese women who divorce their South Korean husbands face financial struggles, with 82.4% left solely responsible for raising their children.

One factor is that South Korean men who marry foreign wives generally earn less than the national average—below three million won, compared to the 3.29 million won average for those married to South Korean women. Despite the hardships, around 80% of Vietnamese women stay in South Korea after their divorce, mainly to ensure their children can continue their education or find work.

Hoang Thi Ha, who leads a support group for Vietnamese women in Incheon, says that the difficulties these women face post-divorce have intensified. As someone who helps Vietnamese women navigate divorce proceedings, Ha highlights their biggest challenges: securing housing, child custody, legal counsel, and adequate financial and childcare support.

Most of these women work in factories, assembling car parts or cosmetic containers, earning between two and three million won a month, often with overtime. However, their income still falls short of covering rent, living expenses, and childcare costs.

The government provides monthly aid of 200,000-300,000 won to single-parent households with young children and low incomes, but this is not enough, especially with rising inflation, Ha notes.

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