Food for the body and soul

Health Care(less), Part 2
Medical Office | Right | June 18, 2011
(A patient comes in for a follow-up. I check their insurance card for charges.)

Me: “It seems that you have a $25 charge. You can pay that in cash, check, or credit card.”

Patient: “I don’t have charges anymore.”

Me: “Oh, did you get a new insurance company?”

Patient: “No, I just don’t have charges anymore.”

Me: “Do you have a new card that reflects that change? If not, I’m required to collect your charge. Then, if it turns out you don’t have one, we will refund it to you.”

Patient: “No, I don’t have a new card. But President Obama says I don’t have to pay.”

Me: “The president told you that you don’t have to pay?”

Patient: “Yeah. He says that Americans get healthcare for free now.”

Me: “Oh, I understand now. However, I think you’ve misunderstood. The Healthcare Bill doesn’t eliminate charges except for preventative, and doesn’t make healthcare free. It just restructures some health insurance policy and such. And it hasn’t gone into effect yet. So, you still have a charge.”

(She reluctantly pays her charge.)

Patient: “Expect to hear from President Obama about this. And don’t expect any sympathy either when he gives you the chair.”

Health Care(less)
Health & Body, Money, Pharmacy, Politics, South Carolina, USA | Right | May 19, 2010
Me: “That will be $43.78, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, no, it won’t.”

Me: “I’m sorry, did you have insurance? You weren’t in the system. Do you have your card on you?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have insurance. Obama said health care is free.”

Me: “I don’t think that’s how it works, ma’am.”

Smurfs Versus Gargamel With The Lightning Gun
Bizarre, Dentist, Nevada, Patients, Silly, USA | Healthy | January 2, 2019
(I am getting my top two wisdom teeth removed and the dentist gives me two little pills to swallow in order to get me through the procedure. My father was to this dentist for the same thing about two weeks prior and he had some… interesting hallucinations from it. Now it is my turn. I do remember some of this, but it was retold to me by my wife several hours later after the drugs wore off. This occurs during the time I am in the waiting room until I sit down in the chair.)

Me: “I’m… really feeling it now.”

Wife: “Okay, just lay your head down on my shoulder. They said it should act pretty fast.”

Me: *waking back up a bit* “We almost got them.”

Wife: “Huh? You almost got who?”

Me: “The Smurfs… They’re going rogue… I’m having a war with the Smurfs…”

Wife: “Oh, really?”

Me: “Yeah… yeah… Had to take out Joker Smurf… He was putting down IED presents… A sniper got him… Saved all of us…”

Wife: “Okay, well, just be careful.”

Me: *waking back up again and finding myself shuffling with her help and the nurse* “Brainy… Brainy stole our Blackhawk… I got him with the LAW… Had to blow it up…”

Nurse: *laughing really hard* “What is going on?”

Me: “Smurfs attacked… Brainy stole a helicopter… Gargamel… Gargamel is behind it all… He got big… like a video game boss… Commander killed him with a lightning gun…”

(My wife and the nurse are laughing like crazy as I’m laid back into the chair and start to doze off. Suddenly I bolt upright and look out the window.)

Me: “OH, MY GOD! LOOK AT THAT TURKEY!”

(At this point the dentist has come in and I hear him laughing.)

Dentist: “Turkey? You mean that bush?”

Me: “NO! It’s HUGE! AND PURPLE!”

(I guess I passed back out at that point and they were able to get my teeth pulled with no problems. I remember the Smurf War and could write a book about it, but the turkey thing was new to me. If I ever have to get teeth pulled again, whatever they gave me is what I’d request again! My wife wishes she had recorded it all… So do I.)

How Not To Score Highly
Australia, Doctor/Physician, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue | Healthy | December 30, 2018
My partner was applying for a new job which required a drug test. He didn’t have a regular doctor as we had recently moved, so he chose the closest to our house. On entering the doctor’s office the doctor simply asked him, “Do you drink?” and, “Do you use drugs?”. My partner replied, “No,” and was sent home with the doctor’s report.

Needless to say, the workplace required a more comprehensive drug test to be carried out — one with at least a urine sample.

They’re Too Penny Wise
Medical Office, North Carolina, Patients, Silly, Teenagers, USA | Healthy | December 29, 2018
(I am fifteen and skinny, and I keep losing weight, so I have to go to the doctor to be weighed once a month to prove I don’t have an eating disorder and that my ADD medication isn’t screwing up my metabolism. I suspect it IS the medication, but I really don’t want to be taken off it because it helps me enormously, so one day, I get the bright idea to hide sacks of pennies in my clothes to make myself heavier.)

Nurse: “Okay, just take off your jacket and shoes, and step onto the scale, please.”

(When I bend down to take off my shoes, one of the sacks of pennies falls out of my pant leg.)

Nurse: “Oh, what’s that?”

Me: “Um… pennies… because I’m going to the bank later. To turn them in. Yeah.”

Nurse: *still friendly but clearly not buying my bulls*** at all* “Riiight. Got any more?”

(Fortunately, my doctor just laughed and told me not to do it again. A week or so later, my dad went to the same doctor. While weighing him, the nurse told him to take his hand off the wall. My dad jokingly asked if she thought he was trying to cheat, and she told him the funny story of the girl who came in with her clothes full of pennies.)

A Graphic Train Of Thought
England, Patients, Public Transport, Revolting, UK | Healthy | December 28, 2018
I’m notorious for not really thinking before I speak. Some people like it because they can count on me telling the truth, but others hate the fact that I say inappropriate things sometimes.

This is pertinent when I’m on a national rail service train. I have just spent three hours with my dad in an Urgent Care drop-in centre because a relatively recent piercing I got became infected. My mum isn’t with us as she stayed in London while we went to Nottingham.

She calls me on the train to check how I am after my dad texted her before we were seen by a nurse. I tell her the whole story.

As I’m telling it, I start to notice people around me looking uncomfortable, and one man puts his food away. I realise that I’ve just described, in graphic detail, how there had been clear fluid and blood leaking from my ear, as well as how, when I took the piercing out, I lost my grip on the front of the earring and pulled the 3-mm ball through my piercing, making it bleed all the more. I quickly change tack to a more vanilla version of events.

To all the poor people who shared that train with me, I’m deeply sorry for subjecting you to that and putting you off your food. On the plus side, I caught the infection before it got really bad, so there’ll be no even worse stories for me to horrify strangers with.

He’s Crazy, But Can’t Quite Put His Finger On Why
Bizarre, Medical Office, Patients, USA | Healthy | December 27, 2018
(In the middle of a major snowstorm, my fiancé starts feeling incredibly under the weather. Not taking the risk, I get him to the doctor, taking an hour to drive a usual ten-minute drive because of road conditions. I decide to stay in the waiting room and read. It’s just me and the receptionist in the front when a man holding his arm oddly comes in.)

Man: “I’m here for an appointment.”

Receptionist: “Yes, are you…” *trails off and pales* “Uh…”

Man: “I’m [Man], here about my hand.”

Receptionist: “I’m sorry; it says here you cut your finger off?”

(I look up from my book, completely horrified, and now notice the man has a very bloody towel around his hand.)

Man: “I was cutting wood and missed. It’s safer to drive here than the hospital.”

Receptionist: “You need to go to the emergency room right now. I’m calling you an ambulance!”

Man: *turns to me* “She’s overreacting, right?”

Me: *notices he’s carrying a sandwich bag with a FINGER IN IT* “Absolutely not!”

(He kept protesting, but eventually got into the ambulance and left. I told my fiancé about it after the fact, but he’d thought it was a fever dream. The kicker? The doctor’s office was at the top of a hill, while the nearest hospital was maybe half a mile away in a very open area, much easier to get to in snow.)

Getting A Gauge On Nurse Meanie
Canada, Hospital, Nurses, Wild & Unruly | Healthy | December 26, 2018
(I am in the hospital, about to give birth to my son. They have been trying to induce me for three days since I am far past term, the baby is large, and it is time for him to come out. Each time we go in to get another round of the lovely stuff they put up your lady bits to try and start contractions, I have the same nurse. She is terribly mean and has a horrid bedside manner. My hubby and I are very non-confrontational people, so we just deal with it and don’t say anything. Fast forward to day three: my water finally breaks at midnight. We head to the hospital to be admitted. Since it is the night shift, we have a new nurse who is a wonderful girl. She gets me settled and set up with an IV. She ends up having to use a smaller gauge since my veins are sometimes a bit difficult, but it’s no problem. The day shift comes and Nurse Meanie is back. She is in a mood and is fuming that the night nurse used a size smaller gauge on my IV. She then spends the next several hours trying to redo it with a larger-gauge needle. She has my hand wrapped in hot towels for a couple hours to make the veins pop, with no luck. After five failed attempts this way, she takes to slapping the back of my hand to make the vein pop out better. My hubby has had to step out to grab something from home we had forgotten, so I am on my own. My hand is hurting quite a bit and she just keeps slapping and slapping.)

Me: “Can you please just stop? I have an IV and it seems to be okay. That really hurts me. Please just stop.”

Nurse: “No. They never should have done this gauge IV. I don’t know what these young nurses think they’re doing; this is absolutely wrong and I will be having a talk with them.”

(She keeps slapping my hand, and has tried the IV another three times. I am now in tears from the constant poking and the prolonged slapping.)

Me: “Okay, this is enough. Stop it and leave the IV alone!”

Nurse: “No, I have to do this. This gauge is not large enough to administer the meds you need. I have to do it. You’re in labor; you can deal with a few needle pricks.”

(I am now full-on crying, and any sense of being nice is completely gone.)

Me: “That’s it! We are done with this. This IV is fine and I will not allow this to continue!”

(I pull my hand away and she tries to grab it back. I pull it close to my chest and glare at her as best I can. She is more than angry and leaves the room. My doctor comes in a few minutes later to check how I am progressing. Nurse Meanie comes in a moment later and proceeds to loudly explain how incompetent the night nurse was at giving me an IV, and how she has been trying all morning to fix it. She shoots me a look and then tells him that I have been incredibly difficult and refused to allow her to replace the IV. She has the smuggest look on her face and smiles at me, all sickly-sweet. The doctor looks at her as though she’s gone mad. He shakes his head.)

Doctor: “There is nothing wrong with that gauge of IV. I would have recommended the same since her veins are hard to find. I don’t blame her for refusing if you have been trying for hours. There is no problem here.”

(Nurse Meanie’s face looked so angry and embarrassed. She opened her mouth to speak and then shut it. And then she stormed out of the room. The doc turned to me and I just said, “Thank You!” He shook his head and said that he would make sure a different nurse was assigned to me from there on out. Thank goodness.)

Don’t Get That Mixed Up With The Coffee
North Carolina, Revolting, USA, Vet | Healthy | December 25, 2018
(A worried-looking woman rushes into the vet’s waiting room, pulls out a double-bagged yellow liquid, and tries to hand it to the receptionist.)

Woman: “IS THIS A NORMAL COLOR FOR MY CAT’S URINE?!”

That’s One Prescription Of Holiday Cheer
California, Holidays, Hospital, Inspirational, Nurses, USA | Healthy Right | December 24, 2018
(It is just before Christmas and my son’s prescription needs to be refilled. The office gets the prescription written in a timely manner, but then my father is hospitalized. I spend the week bouncing back and forth between the hospital and getting our house ready to move him in. Finally, at the end of the week, I get everything settled so I can run over and pick up my son’s prescription so it can be refilled before it runs out over the holiday. Unfortunately, I arrive ten minutes after the office closes for the holiday weekend. I’m sitting on the curb in the parking lot… exhausted, overwhelmed, and feeling like a complete failure.)

Nurse: “Are you okay?”

Me: “I screwed up. I was supposed to pick up my son’s refill this week so he wouldn’t run out over the holiday. “

Nurse: “Did anyone call you?”

Me: “Yes. I’ve just been in the hospital with my dad all week, and I finally was able to get over here. I forgot the holiday hours. It’s my fault.”

Nurse: “It’s a good thing I came out the front. I usually leave by the back door. Let’s go get his prescription slip.”

(The nurse unlocks the door, takes me inside, and signs over the prescription.)

Me: *still a bit teary* “You are the first thing that has gone right for us all week. I’m sorry I kept you late.”

Nurse: “I’m glad you caught me. Merry Christmas.”

(A heartfelt thank-you to healthcare workers. You do not get the credit you deserve.)

This Practice Is Now Dead To Them
Ignoring & Inattentive, Jerk, Las Vegas, Nevada, Pets & Animals, USA, Vet | Healthy | December 24, 2018
(I have worked at a veterinarian office as a receptionist for the last ten years and know how to read people pretty well. At this particular practice, pets that are getting procedures done are scheduled to be dropped off no later than 8:30 am. This means that by the time I come in at 9:00 am, all the procedure pets are already at the office. The first thing I do is check the schedule to see what appointments are due to come in. A husband and wife come into the office looking visibly distressed. The husband is holding a bundle of towels in his arms very protectively. This is common for people who are coming in with very sick or old pets. I motion for them to come over to my desk.)

Me: “What’s going on there?”

Husband: “This is [Dog].”

(He looks like he is about to cry and doesn’t elaborate the reason for his visit. I remember from looking at the schedule that there is a pet by the same name due to come in to get euthanized. The office has a very strict euthanasia policy. The doctor must examine the pet prior to the procedure, and if the pet appears healthy we will not euthanize. I can partially see the pet wrapped in the towels and can tell that it matches the breed due to come in, but looks it to be healthy. I make a note in the chart so the doctor knows what he is getting into when he does the exam. I motion for them to follow me into the room we leave open for pets that are getting put to sleep.)

Wife: “[Doctor] said we can wait in the office until the procedure is over.” *sniffing into a tissue*

Me: “You can stay as long as you like; there is no rush. If you like you can even stay in the room with her. Let me just get you to fill out the forms, and I will let the doctor know you are here.”

Wife: “We already filled these out.” *barks at me without looking at the forms*

Me: “Okay, let me check your account and see if I can find them.”

(I check the account, and I don’t see any signed euthanasia forms.)

Me: “I am so sorry, but I was unable to find the signed forms. Do you mind filling them out again for me?”

Wife: “Fine.” *goes to sign forms again without looking at them*

Husband: “EUTHANASIA! WHAT THE F***?! [Dog] is here for a [drop-off procedure]!”

Wife: “WHAT?! OH, MY GOD! WHAT THE H*** WERE YOU THINKING?! WHAT IF I SIGNED THAT?! YOU WOULD HAVE KILLED MY DOG!”

Me: “I am so sorry. It was an honest mistake, but don’t worry; we never would have euthanized your pet. [Doctor] always does an exam…”

Wife: “NO! You tried to kill my puppy!”

(Both husband and wife left the room, all the while yelling that I tried to kill their dog to all the other clients in the waiting room. I went straight to the office manager and let her know what happened. I let her know that I didn’t know that there were two dogs that have the same name and breed due to come in on the same day, as well as having a drop-off procedure come in later then is required. I admitted that I didn’t ask the client’s name and that was my mistake. My office manager agrees that it was an honest mistake and anyone would have made the same one. Later an agent from the Better Business Bureau called and took my statement about the incident, and I never heard anything about it again, nor did those clients ever come back.)

Hats Off To Good Drugs!
England, Hospital, London, Patients, Silly, UK | Healthy | December 22, 2018
(I am in the hospital, having an operation on my hand that requires me to be under general anaesthetic. I am fourteen years old and have previously had two generals, so I know I react well, if very strangely. The anaesthetist is prepping me for surgery, with my dad beside me.)

Anaesthetist: “Okay, now the next drug I’m going to give you is this [medicine], which [does something I now can’t remember]. Okay?”

Me: *already a little bit drugged up and very sluggishly cheerful* “Okay!”

Anaesthetist: *barely started administering the medicine* “Right, so, adults often say that it feels like you’ve had a little drink–”

Me: “Oooh, yep, got that! Wooowwwww! Dad, everything’s blurry!”

Anaesthetist: *trying not to laugh* “Yes, sweetheart, it does that sometimes. I always hear that it’s a bit like having alcohol from the adults, and some people say that it makes them feel very happy.”

Me: “It feels like I’ve had alcohol or something!”

Anaesthetist: “There she goes!”

Me: “And I feel really happy! Did you give me something?”

Anaesthetist: “I’m going to put you to sleep now, sweetheart, okay?”

Me: “Okay! See you in a bit! I like your hat!”

(Out like a light. I apologised to the anaesthetist afterward, while still a bit drugged, and asked where his hat was when he came to tell me that I’d made his day. He’d never been wearing one.)

Have A Heart (Attack)!
Jerk, Medical Office, Patients, San Antonio, Texas, USA | Healthy | December 22, 2018
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I work in a clinic that has regular patients who have treatment three times a week, sitting side by side each treatment. We are very short-handed today and I have the section where [Patient #1 ], who is very demanding, is located. She wants to get off treatment early, at 1:00. However, right before [Patient #1 ]’s turn, [Patient #2 ] begins to have a heart attack. As the rest of staff is on break, three other nurses and I immediately begin to perform CPR and attend him.)

Patient #1 : “[My Name], are you still going to take me off treatment at one?”

Me: *obviously doing compressions* “Right now is not a good time; I’ll get to you when I can.”

Patient #1 : “Well, could you get someone else to get me off treatment, then? Is it so important you need four people there? Where is everyone else?”

(The other nurses and I continue to perform CPR. As one nurse is talking to the 911 operator, [Patient #1 ] starts bothering the nurse.)

Patient #1 : “[Nurse], can you take me off treatment? Hello? Are you listening to me?”

(She repeats herself, getting louder and louder each time, but we continue to tell her we’ll get to her when we can. Finally, paramedics arrive for [Patient #2 ]. After paramedics take [Patient #2 ], we are finally able to return to our other patients. All the other staff who were on break are returning now. I am finally able to get to [Patient #1 ].)

Patient #1 : *two-faced* “Well, you sure know how to make me late! Is [Patient #2 ] okay? I was so worried about him! Did you know his kids were going to visit him this weekend?”

(She continued to tell me all his kids’ business as if nothing had happened. I quietly just took her off treatment because I was so disgusted someone could be so concerned with herself despite the fact that he could’ve died. Thankfully, he is doing well since we acted quickly.)

Welcome To Private Healthcare!
Doctor/Physician, Editors' Choice, Insurance, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | December 21, 2018
(I’ve recently had to change my health insurance, and I’m still getting used to its quirks. I realize that one of my medications can’t be refilled on this insurance without a Prior Authorization — “PA.” Basically, the insurance wants my doctor to formally request that I be allowed to take it, because it’s a name brand that’s relatively expensive. My doctor sends the PA request in a few days before I have an appointment with him, and I don’t hear much else about it until I go into the office, where my doctor seems irritated.)

Doctor: “So, I wrote a letter to your insurance company for the PA. Actually, I wrote them two letters. They won’t fill your prescription.”

Me: “What? I thought the point of the PA was so they’d fill ones they normally wouldn’t?”

Doctor: “Generally, but sometimes they deny the requests because they want you to try a generic first. When I sent the first letter, they replied with a denial and said that you were required to at least try [Generic #1 ] or [Generic #2 ]. The problem is, they contain [certain progestin], which interacts with testosterone.”

Me: “Which is what I’m taking [Medication] for in the first place?”

Doctor: “Yes! So, in my second letter, I told them that if they couldn’t approve [Medication], I needed anything from a long list I gave them, but specifically any variation that did not include [certain progestin]. And they absolutely will not budge. They sent me a list of more options, and every single one of them contains it.”

Me: “Um. Okay. What does that mean?”

Doctor: *looking like he wants to kill someone* “It means your insurance company won’t let you take any medication except for the kind that will only make your problems worse.”

Maybe The Neurology Ward Has A Telepath?
Impossible Demands, Medical Office, Patients, Texas | Healthy | December 20, 2018
(I work in a clinic with eight doctors in it, and a staff of about 90 between our multiple locations. My job involves acting as the operator, so I am one of three women who answer the phones initially, and usually get this call

Patient: “Somebody called me.”

Me: “Who was it, please?”

Patient: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Was there a voice message?”

Patient: “I didn’t check for one.”

Me: “I apologize, there are almost a hundred people who work here. I couldn’t say who tried to call you.”

Patient: “You mean you don’t know?”

Me: “Since you don’t have a name, no

Scream Bloody Murder
Bad Behavior, Hospital, Nurses, USA | Healthy | December 19, 2018
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I am a female with an incredibly rare type of hemophilia which affects both men and women. I have an upcoming surgery, so the surgeon requests an action plan from my hematologist regarding what to do if things go south during my surgery and what protocols to follow for my post-op care. One directive is VERY clear: I am not to receive any anticoagulant medications unless by some freak medical fluke I develop a DVT, since I do not form hard clots and have prolonged bleeding. This is posted in my room in no less than three places, plus on a red armband I am wearing. First nurse shift, no issues. Then night shift comes on… The nurse comes into my room to give me my medication and I see she has Lovenox, an anticoagulant shot.)

Me: “Oh, I think there was a mistake; I can’t take Lovenox. I have hemophilia. It’s in my chart, over there–” *pointing to the places posted* “–and also on my armband.”

Nurse: *rather snotty tone* “It’s standard for all surgical patients. You need it so you don’t get a blood clot. Besides, girls don’t have hemophilia.”

Me: “Hmm, yes, females can get certain types of hemophilia, as I have one of them, and as I said before, it’s in my chart, posted there, and on my armband.”

(The nurse huffed off. About thirty minutes later, I was dozing and the crazy nurse tried to stealthily give me the shot of Lovenox. I screamed bloody freaking murder and knocked it out of her hand. The charge nurse ran into the room to find out what all the commotion was about. I told her what had happened. She paled and took the nurse out. I didn’t see that nurse again the rest of my stay. A few days later I heard some other staff talking about the nurse who got fired for trying to give some patient medication the patient couldn’t take, after the actual patient told her they couldn’t have it, and then tried to sneak in while the patient was sleeping to give it. I’m still not sure what she thought she was going to accomplish.)

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 14
Bad Behavior, Camp, Criminal & Illegal, Health & Body, USA | Healthy | December 18, 2018
(We had a summer camp cook that was a legitimate threat to our health and safety. Counselors came early to camp to help prepare for the coming kids, and the cook was responsible for feeding us. Just two of her sins were: 1) Food was chilled several degrees above the temperatures required for food safety. 2) She saw nothing wrong with storing raw, dripping meat above uncovered lettuce because the lettuce was going to be rinsed off, anyway. Counselors complained multiple times, but the higher-ups refused to fire her because she had faked her training in food preparation and continued to insist that she knew better, and the counselors didn’t know what they were talking about. Then, there was an incident that couldn’t be ignored. Two counselors were hospitalized with life-threatening conditions. Why?)

Cook: “There’s no such thing as allergies! It’s all in their minds! They’ve been allowed to be picky all their lives, instead of being forced to eat their ‘allergens’–” *actually makes air quotes with her fingers* “–until their body is forced to stop reacting to it and then you can eat it like everyone else! That’s how you get over allergies!”

(Fortunately, the police were very interested to hear that she had been made fully aware of the allergies of everyone at camp, and even MORE interested to hear that she had deliberately slipped the allergens to the unsuspecting counselors. The cook was arrested. As for the rest of us? We have been keeping documentation of the times the higher-ups failed to take action against our many complaints. We have a sizeable file to give to the lawyers of the two counselors who were hospitalized.)

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 13
Australia, Health & Body, Pizza, Queensland, Stupid | Right | March 30, 2018
(I’m a customer waiting for my order when I hear the manager talking to an angry customer over the phone.)

Manager: “So, you ordered chilli paste on your pizza and you’re allergic to chillies?”

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 12
Health & Body, Restaurant, USA, Washington DC | Healthy | November 15, 2017
(I’m a manager for a popular casual restaurant. I receive a phone call from an upset customer.)

Caller: “Why don’t you offer allergy menus? My daughter almost died from eating calamari! Why would you serve her something that she is allergic to, and she’s pregnant!”

Me: “I do apologize for your daughter’s condition and we do offer a dozen different types of menus which do include an allergen menu, nutritional menus, large print menus, etc.”

Caller: “How am I supposed to know you have these menus?!”

Me: “Did you ask? Also, if your daughter knew she was allergic to calamari, why would she order it?”

Caller: “She didn’t know she was allergic to it! That’s why I was asking about the allergen menu!”

Me: “Okay, so, if she doesn’t know that she is allergic to calamari, how are we supposed to know?”

Caller: *realizes the paradox* “Well, she’s pregnant and I am really scared.”

(I’m a mom of two.)

Me: “I understand you are scared and when a person is pregnant their body goes through a lot of changes; consult with the doctor and I hope she will be okay.”

(I never got a call back I wonder if she still thinks we should automatically know if someone is allergic to something.)

Related:

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 11
Restaurant | Right | February 22, 2017
(I work in a southwestern-themed restaurant, and many of our recipes include similar spices, just in different amounts. Onion is one of the most prominent ingredients in our recipes, and we sometimes get a request for ‘no onion’ in certain items. We can make some things, but it’d be pretty much just lettuce, cheese, and any number of fresh chopped vegetables that aren’t onion or mixed with anything that has onion in it. As such, I get this man in line.)

Customer: “I’d like a burrito.”

Me: “Okay, would you like that with or without guacamole today?”

Customer: “With.”

(The guacamole has onion in it.)

Me: “What kind of meat on your burrito?”

Customer: “Chicken.”

(The chicken has onion in the seasoning.)

Me: “Any rice or beans?”

Customer: “Sure, I’ll take [rice with onion in it], and [beans with onion in them].”

Me: “Any grilled vegetables?”

Customer: “Ooh, no, thank you. I’m allergic to onion.”

Me: “Sir… if you’re allergic to onions then I highly suggest you don’t eat this burrito. There is a load of onion in it already.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I’m only allergic to onion that I can see.”

(Eight years of culinary experience, and this is the first time I’ve heard that excuse. I made him his burrito – leaving off anything with visible onion – and he went on his way. No complaints yet.)