During my freshman year in high school, my science teacher assigned us to interview people in the community about how they use science in their careers. Although I don’t remember most of the people I spoke with, I can tell you that I spent meaningful time with a local community pharmacist who changed my life.
What I saw was a man who loved his career and truly cared for his patients. In an instant, I knew that I wanted to become a pharmacist, and I never wavered from that goal throughout high school.
Knowing what you want to be when you grow up at age 14 is unusual, but it is very liberating. I simply had to work backwards to figure out how to achieve my goal of becoming a pharmacist.
After high school, I chose to attend Ohio Northern University (ONU) because it had a unique pharmacy program. Rather than attending college for 2 years and then applying to the pharmacy program, ONU students were admitted to the College of Pharmacy from day one.
Although it was expensive, being in pharmacy school from day one and avoiding the risk of rejection made it worthwhile for me.
In college, I spent a lot of time in the library. Although the classwork was difficult, I did well with one exception: organic chemistry.
I did fail organic chemistry—a notorious “weed out” course—but I successfully retook the class over the summer and graduated on time with the rest of my classmates. Failing a course is a difficult stumbling block, but I stood strong and persevered.
Today, I’m thankful for the wonderful pharmacy profession for so many reasons.
First, I’m thankful that community pharmacists are the health care professionals most accessible to the public. If my local pharmacist wasn’t accessible to me, then I likely would have taken a different career path.
Second, I’m proud of the work we pharmacists do, the diversity of our career options, and the relationships we share with our patients and fellow health care providers.
Pharmacy is a profession that makes a real difference in people’s lives. It certainly has made all the difference in mine.
California, Costa Mesa, Jerk, USA, Vet | Healthy | April 29, 2019
(I have a cocker spaniel with a lot of allergies and a skin condition that makes her very itchy. Her regular vet prescribes allergy shots for her. A few times we don’t get to see him but a newly-graduated vet who is working there temporarily. All she does every appointment is to try to refer us to specialists. She does this so much that we are starting to think she is getting kickbacks from them. One time, we get her when we are there for my dog’s allergy shot.)
Vet: “She’s just itchy because she has fleas.”
Mom & Me: “No, she doesn’t.”
Me: “I just checked her this morning. No fleas. And she’s had a bath.”
Vet: *rolling her eyes* “It’s just fleas. She doesn’t need an allergy shot.”
Mom: “Dr. [Regular Vet] prescribed them. We want her allergy shot.”
(We watch as a flea crawling on the vet herself jumps from her to my dog. The vet only sees the flea now.)
Vet: “I told you she had fleas!”
Mom: “We saw that flea crawling on you! Now, we want her allergy shot.”
(The vet continued to argue and tried once again to send us to a specialist, but we finally got the shot, only after a lot of huffing. Mom complained to the regular vet as soon as he was free and told him how this one was always trying to send us to specialists. He seemed rather angry with her when he heard this. We never saw her there again.)
Employees, Great Stuff, Ignoring & Inattentive, Insurance, Lazy/Unhelpful, USA | Healthy | April 29, 2019
(I have medications being filled on a 30-day supply. My insurance company requires me to call every month and verify that I do need the medicine and that my health panel — age, weight, allergies, etc. — is up to date. I made my call earlier this month, letting them know that I would be on vacation when the medications were scheduled to be delivered and asked if they would deliver without requiring a signature. The representative said it was fine and told me that my medicine would arrive while I was gone. I asked my sister to check on the house while I was gone, specifically mentioning the delivery and the rough timeline I was given. When I come home, she tells me that there have been no deliveries. I call my insurance company again.)
Representative #1 : “[Insurance], this is [Rep #1 ] speaking. Can I have your name and policy number, please?”
Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name]; my policy number is [number].”
Representative #1 : “Okay, I have your account here. How can I help you?”
Me: “I was supposed to have some medicine delivered, but nothing has arrived.”
Representative #1 : “Okay, I see here that we attempted to deliver on [date] but there was no one home to sign.”
Me: “I was told I could opt out of the signature because I was out of town.”
Representative #1 : “I can add you on today’s shipment and overnight the medication to you at no additional cost.”
Me: “That’s great!”
Representative #1 : “Okay, I just have to verify your info.” *we go through the same questions I answer every month* “Everything looks good. This will go out today for delivery tomorrow, with a signature required.”
Me: “Thank you!”
(The next day, I’m home all day and nothing comes. Since our package deliveries can come as late as nine pm, I’m stuck waiting all day before I can call back. The day after my delivery was to arrive, I call again. I get a different representative.)
Representative #2 : “[Insurance], this is [Rep #2 ] speaking. Name and policy number?”
Me: “[My Name], [policy number].”
Representative #2 : “Thank you, [My Name]. How can I help you?”
Me: “I spoke with [Representative #1 ] two days ago and was told I would have my medications delivered yesterday but nothing came.”
Representative #2 : “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I see here that you tried to order [medication] on [date before vacation] and we tried to deliver but there was no one to sign.”
Me: “Yes. And I called again and was told it would be here yesterday.”
Representative #2 : “I’m not showing anything like that but we can ship– Oh, wait. There’s a hold on your account for unpaid copays.”
Me: “Unpaid copays? I’ve never received a bill.”
Representative #2 : “You should have received… two.”
Me: “I don’t think I did. Why was I not told of this hold when I called two days ago?”
(I open my online account to see past bills. There is nothing.)
Representative #2 : “I’m not sure, ma’am. I only see a bill for $243 that needs to be paid.”
Me: “I’m confused. I’ve met my out of pocket deductibles. What is the bill for?”
Representative #2 : “One moment, I can look that up for you.” *hold music* “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m having trouble finding the specific bill.”
Me: “I’m looking at my online account and there’s nothing like that. How do I suddenly owe that much money?”
Representative #2 : “Oh. Um. Hold, please.” *hold music* “Thank you for holding, ma’am. My supervisor is looking into this further. Unfortunately, we cannot authorize your medications until you pay your balance. I can take your credit card info—“
Me: “I’m not paying anything until I have an itemized bill.”
Representative #2 : *huffs* “Hold.” *hold music* “Okay, ma’am, I’ve talked with my supervisor. Your balance is $243. Will that be card or check?”
Me: “That will be nothing until you tell me why I’m paying.”
Representative #2 : *huffs again* “Ma’am. I am trying to work with you here. You owe copays. We cannot fill your prescriptions until you pay in full.”
Me: “And I will happily pay as soon as someone can tell me why I’m paying. I’m looking at my history right now. Not only is there nothing with a copay for the past six months, but all other bills are marked as paid.”
Representative #2 : *clearly annoyed* “Would you like to speak to my supervisor, ma’am?”
Me: “Yes, I would.”
(Hold music.)
Supervisor: “Hello, [My Name]? I’m told you would like to speak to a supervisor. I’m [Supervisor].”
Me: “Yes, thank you. I called almost two weeks ago to have meds delivered. There was a miscommunication and they were not delivered. I called two days ago to have the same meds delivered as of yesterday, but they weren’t. I called today and found that I owe money and [Insurance Company] is withholding my medications until I pay. Nothing in my records shows any unpaid copay, so please tell me what is going on here.”
Supervisor: “I apologize for the inconvenience. Please be patient with me while I look into this further. Can I put you on hold?”
Me: *thinly veiled annoyance* “Yes.”
Supervisor: “Thank you.” *hold music* “Hmm. Ma’am, I apologize. I see the bill, but I’m not finding anything that it could be linked to. Unfortunately, I cannot authorize your prescription to be refilled until this bill is paid.”
Me: “Let me get this straight: your records show that I owe money. Yes?”
Supervisor: “Yes.”
Me: “You will not send my medication until I pay this bill. Correct?”
Supervisor: *uneasy* “Correct…”
Me: “But when I ask why you want me to pay, no one can tell me why. Am I wrong?”
Supervisor: “No, ma’am, you are not wrong.”
Me: “Can you see why I’m annoyed?”
Supervisor: “Yes. Please let me put you on hold one last time.”
Me: “No.”
Supervisor: “Ma’am?”
Me: “I will not be put on hold again. This phone call is already over an hour long. If you cannot tell me why I owe this money, I can only assume it’s a mistake on your end and I’m being billed for someone else’s medication or—“
Supervisor: “We are very thorough in our billing process and—“
Me: “—OR someone is committing insurance fraud and I’ll have to hire a lawyer to get this resolved.”
Supervisor: *panicked* “Um. No, no, that won’t be necessary.” *clicking keyboard* “I will see to it that your medication is shipped out today and I will put an override on the unpaid bill. I will continue to research this and get back to you as soon as I know what is going on. Is your number [phone number]?”
Me: “Yes, it is. Thank you.”
Supervisor: “Thank you, ma’am. Enjoy the rest of your day.”
(My medication was delivered the next day and yes, I signed for it. It’s been two weeks and I still haven’t heard anything about my mystery bill. I guess I’ll have to wait and see what happens when I call for my next refill!)
Behind Every Man Is A Wife Trying To Keep Him Alive
Hospital, Patients, Spouses & Partners, USA | Healthy | April 28, 2019
(One of our patients is a very stubborn gentleman who has broken his hip. He thinks he can get out of bed without help, but he can’t. We instruct him to use his call light but he continues to get out of bed alone. We’re worried he’s going to fall, so we put him on a bed alarm which will automatically alert us if he tries to get up. However, when visiting hours start, it turns out we don’t need it after all…)
Patient’s Wife: “DON’T YOU EVEN THINK OF GETTING OUT OF BED BY YOURSELF! I’VE TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES, YOU HAVE TO CALL THE GIRLS IF YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF BED!”
(Cue the nurse and I hustling over to his room to respond to the verbal bed alarm.)
(I’m still getting headaches when I try to understand why that woman had to be told what I told her. The cat was held at the animal hospital until it was in good health and ready to be adopted. The woman agreed the cat was better with someone else. I’m vegetarian myself, but I would never feed my snake vegetables. Piece of advice guys: if you are vegetarian or vegan and won’t even feed meat to your pet, please get a herbivorous pet.)
Bad Behavior, Hospital, Nurses, USA | Healthy | April 26, 2019
(While cleaning a route for climbing, some rocks come loose and hit my foot. I am a few hours from the nearest town, and about six from the nearest hospital. Because the pain is manageable, I just lace my boots up and get a ride to the hospital a few days later. I will admit to looking more than a little scruffy at this point, and bathing hasn’t exactly been a common occurrence over the past few months due to lack of facilities.)
Nurse: “Why are you here today?”
Me: “I think I broke my foot.”
Nurse: “Why do you think that?”
Me: “Around 45 pounds of rocks fell on it a few days back, and I can move one of the bones around.”
Nurse: *rolls her eyes* “Are you sure that’s not just a joint? If you broke something a few days ago, you would have come in a few days ago.”
Me: “Well, it wasn’t really an option because I was two hours outside of [Small, Rural Town] and had to wait to get a ride to here. Plus, it’s really swollen and I don’t think the arch of my foot has a joint in it.”
Nurse: “If you want pain meds, just admit it. I’m not wasting time on a room for you if you’re just looking for pills.”
Me: “I haven’t asked for any medications at all, and I just want an x-ray of my foot.”
Nurse: “No. You clearly want drugs. I’m not wasting time on you anymore. Just leave. Try the methadone clinic across the street.”
Me: “No. I am not leaving until someone actually examines my foot!”
Nurse: *rolls eyes again and motions to the security guard* “Listen, if you won’t leave, we’ll have to escort you out.”
Me: “Just have someone actually look at my foot! I don’t want pills, I don’t want a room; just have an actual doctor look at my d*** foot!”
(The security guard looks at me and the nurse.)
Nurse: “Get her out of here; she’s a junkie.”
Guard: *looking confused* “Has she asked for pills? Or been violent to you? Because I haven’t seen her threaten you, [Nurse]. I don’t see why she needs to leave before seeing a doctor.”
(The nurse stomps away but returns a few minutes later, dragging a doctor by the sleeve.)
Nurse: “See? She claims she broke her foot days ago and just now came in for it. She’s clearly looking for drugs or a place to sleep.”
Doctor: “Have you actually looked at her foot yet, [Nurse]?”
Nurse: “No! She’s gross and clearly faking it! She doesn’t need treatment; she needs a f****** job!”
Doctor: “Let me see your foot, ma’am.”
(I take off my boot and sock. Apparently, one of the bones has moved around; it’s now visibly poking up.)
Doctor: “[Nurse], get out of here. Her foot is clearly broken. Go find something else to do, instead of your asinine crusade against people who you don’t like.”
(I got my foot x-rayed and got a boot for it. I broke it in five places and the doctor said I was lucky to not have caused permanent damage by not getting it set right away. The nurse had to send me an apology letter for her behavior, and I learned to shower and look nicer before going to a hospital!)
Australia, Golden Years, Hospital, Patients, Perth, Politics, Western Australia | Healthy | April 26, 2019
(I’m in the ER with my husband after he broke his arm. A woman and her adult daughter are in the curtain area next to us. From what I can gather, the older woman had a fall and hit her head; she doesn’t remember what happened and has lost her hearing aids. The nurse is asking her some general questions. It is 2014 and we live in Australia.)
Nurse: “Okay, just a few questions. What is your full name?”
Older Woman: “[Older Woman].”
Nurse: “Great, and your birthdate?”
Older Woman: “Pardon?”
Daughter: *bit louder* “Your birthday, mum”
Older Woman: “Oh, it’s [birthdate].”
Nurse: “Who is the prime minister?”
Older Woman: “I’m sorry, what?”
Daughter: *louder again* “Who’s the idiot that runs the country?”
Older Woman: “Oh, that’s Tony Abbott.”
(My husband and I couldn’t help but laugh. The nurse had a good chuckle, too.)
Bad Behavior, Doctor/Physician, Georgia, Hospital, USA, Wild & Unruly | Healthy | April 25, 2019
(My first experience with a migraine is not a fun one. I lay in bed for two days and nothing works. I am ten at the time. My mom decides to take me to the ER to get stronger medicines since I am missing school and crying any time I am awake. After waiting for an hour, I am taken back and they begin prepping for medicine.)
Doctor: “All right. I’m going to give you a shot to help your head.”
Me: “W-what? I didn’t…”
(I start crying again due to a fear of needles while my mom comforts me. The doctor preps the shot.)
Doctor: “All right. Going to count to three and then we’ll stick you. One… Two…”
(He then jabs the needle in. I scream and jerk away because I wasn’t prepared, causing blood to get all over my arm.)
Doctor: “What the h*** was that for?! You’re ten! Grow up!”
Mom: “And you stabbed my child! You said, ‘On three’!”
Doctor: “Well, if he wasn’t such a brat—“
(A nurse comes in at that moment and sees me crying with blood all over my arm, my mom cornering the doctor, and the doctor with the needle still in his hand. The doctor shoves my mom away and all but slams the needle into the nurse’s hand.)
Doctor: “You take care of this spoiled brat!”
(The nurse patched me up and waited until three to stick me. It took a few tries, but we finally got the medicine. Once it took effect, I don’t remember anything, but, from what I heard, the doctor was fired because he was too rough with patients. One even almost died because of him.)
Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Nurses, USA | Healthy | April 24, 2019
(My adult daughter has multiple medical issues, including vasovagal syncope — she faints — triggered by several things, including vomiting and even small blood draws. I am with her for support and as her driver in case of problems when she goes to get a routine blood draw that requires multiple vials. Due to insurance issues, she is going to an unfamiliar lab and has called in advance to verify that there is a bed available for her to lie down for the draw, as it’s the only way to prevent an event. She is called by the phlebotomist.)
Phlebotomist: “Please have a seat here in this chair and we’ll get started.”
Daughter: “I need to lie down or I’ll faint. I was told you had a bed available?”
Phlebotomist: “Oh, was that you who called? Please just sit down. I draw blood every day, all day, and I’ve never heard of such a problem.”
(It’s actually fairly common.)
Daughter: “I have vasovagal syncope triggered by having my blood drawn. I’d rather lie down so I don’t end up on the floor.”
Phlebotomist: “There isn’t a bed available. Now, you’re holding up the process as there are several others also waiting to have their blood drawn. We’ll just have to deal with it if it happens, which I know for a fact it won’t. I’m very good at my job.”
Daughter: “I’d rather wait for a bed. How long will it be?”
Phlebotomist: “We don’t have any beds in the lab. We’d have to go to the doctor’s office next door, and I’m not going to do that. These chairs recline a bit; I’ll put it back and you’ll be fine. Now, are you going to get the blood drawn or not?”
Daughter: *not wanting to make a scene and needing to have the procedure completed* “Okay, but I warned you; you can’t say I didn’t.” *and to me* “Mom, please come in and be ready to catch me.”
(The phlebotomist prepares my daughters arm for the draw, commenting about how she’s never seen anyone actually faint from a simple blood draw, and what a wuss my daughter is for having to have her mother present for the procedure. When she inserts the needle and starts to draw the blood, my daughter’s eyes roll back and she starts to slide out of the chair.)
Phlebotomist: “What’s happening?! Wake up, wake up! You can’t do this to me! Please, Mom, hold her up while I finish!”
(So much for not keeping the others waiting. She was out cold on the floor for several minutes, and it was over half an hour before she could stand to even get into a wheelchair to leave the room. They’ve since installed a fully reclining chair in the lab, and the phlebotomist learned a valuable lesson about listening to the clients. Also, my daughter will now not allow anyone to draw her blood unless she is fully lying down and will not take “no” for an answer
Canada, Doctor/Physician, Extra Stupid, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive | Healthy | April 24, 2019
(I wake up in excruciating and familiar pain. As someone who has cystic ovaries, I can tell when a cyst is about to rupture; the pain is as identifiable as it is horrific. Other symptoms accompany it, including increased discharge from the nether regions — a point that is important, I assure you. My husband drives me to the ER where I describe the symptoms to the nurse, who winces empathetically.)
Nurse: “I’ve had that, too; I know exactly how you feel.”
(The doctor comes in and I clearly explain my symptoms in detail. She performs a pelvic exam.)
Doctor: “Have you inserted a suppository because of the discharge?”
Me: *in disbelief* “No, that’s the other symptom I mentioned to you; it’s fluid from the ruptured cyst.”
(She then grabs my right leg, pushes it up and into my abdomen, and asks me if it hurts as I gasp and retch from the pain of it torquing my ovary. Her diagnosis?)
Doctor: “Tendonitis in your leg.”
(She sent me home with instructions to alternate ice and heat. The sympathetic nurse urged me to seek a second opinion, which I did. At the second hospital, I explained all of my symptoms to the triage nurse, and said, “You will see in my records that I was just seen at the other hospital and was released with a diagnosis of tendonitis. I thought I’d come to see someone at your facility since, apparently, tendonitis is leaking out of my vagina.” Once she finished laughing, she and the rest of the medical team quickly diagnosed me with a ruptured ovarian cyst, and provided the pain medication and follow-up care I needed!)
Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Silly, USA | Healthy | April 23, 2019
(During my third trimester, I am being seen one visit by a doctor who is not my usual ob/gyn. My usual doctor is about five feet tall — 5’2” in heels. I’m 5’3” if I don’t slouch, and my baby is about six pounds. As the doctor in this visit is going over my information, verifying who my doctor is, and checking the size of my baby, he finally exclaims loudly
Doctor: “Jeez, there are a lot of short people involved in this pregnancy.”
(My husband and I kept it together but had a really good laugh later on.)
Doctor/Physician, Florida, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | April 22, 2019
(I was diagnosed with a general anxiety disorder and panic disorder at nineteen, and have been on anti-anxiety medications since. Sometimes, they stop being as effective, or the side effects become worse, and I need to return to a doctor to change my prescription. This was never an issue before, as my dosage is low and I don’t require strong or addictive medication. However, after moving, I go to see a new doctor. The clinic has gotten all my medical records from my previous one, and I have filled out the forms, detailing my conditions. The doctor is a general practitioner, is male and middle-aged, and immediately seems to be only paying half-attention. I am a twenty-five-year-old female.)
Doctor: “Now, why is someone like you on anxiety medication?”
Me: *confused* “Because I have an anxiety and panic disorder. I was diagnosed years ago, as it says in my file.”
Doctor: “Have you ever tried losing weight?”
Me: “Uh, yes. I’ve been on diets since I was five. I do eat healthy, and I walk a mile almost daily–“
Doctor: “And you’re not working.”
Me: *having no idea what this has to do with anything* “No, not yet. I just moved states with my family.”
Doctor: “So, you plan on working? Or are you going to school?”
(I have absolutely no idea where this conversation is going, or why he’s suddenly asking about my life. In the back of my head, I’m hoping he’s trying to figure out what medication to put me on if I’m entering a more stressful situation.)
Me: “No, I’m not planning on going to college, and I’ve started looking for a job–“
Doctor: *cutting me off in a grandfatherly, scolding tone* “Now, why aren’t you planning on going to college? There are lots of good colleges around here.” *starts naming off colleges*
(I am getting increasingly embarrassed and flustered. I attended one year of community college, but my health had taken such a terrible turn from the constant stress and panic attacks I nearly ended up in the hospital. I didn’t continue.)
Me: “I’m… not really interested in going back to college, sir. Can we get back to my–“
Doctor: *dismissively* “Now, now, I’ve got a granddaughter your age; I know what I’m talking about. You don’t need more pills. What you need is to get your degree, lose weight, and find a good man to marry. You’re anxious because your life isn’t heading anywhere! I’ll put you on [medication] for now, but when you come back, I expect you to be enrolled somewhere, you hear?” *winking at me* “Doctor’s orders.”
(I was so bewildered and humiliated I just wanted to get out of the office. I took my prescription and never returned to his office again. I’ve had doctors be unprofessional before, but I’ve never had one lecture me on how going to college would magically cure my mental illness!)
California, Employees, Extra Stupid, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | April 22, 2019
(I’m at the pharmacy to pick up one of my regular prescriptions. This one is about $5. After the pharmacy tech verifies my identity, the following occurs
Tech: “Okay, just this medication? That will be $45.”
Me: “Wait, what? It’s usually $5. Why is it so expensive?”
Tech: “Hmm, looks like we didn’t run it through your insurance.”
Me: “…”
Tech: “…”
Me: “Could you run it through my insurance?”
Tech: *surprised* “You want me to do that?”
Me: “Yes. Yes, I do.”
(I did get my medication for the right price and headed home. This was over a year ago, and I’m still baffled why asking for it to be run through my insurance was such an odd request.)
Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Nurses, Patients, UK | Healthy | April 21, 2019
(I have appendicitis and have presented at the hospital late at night. These conversations take place over the time between then and finally having surgery the following afternoon. My cis female partner is with me throughout.)
Doctor: “Any chance you could be pregnant?”
Me: “No, this is my only sexual partner and she can’t get me pregnant accidentally.”
Partner: “Well, we aren’t using contraception.”
Me: “True. We’d make a fortune if you did get me pregnant, though.”
Doctor: “We have to do a pregnancy test, anyway.”
(Forty minutes later, in the surgical assessment unit…)
Junior Doctor: “And any chance you are pregnant?”
Me: “The GP did a pregnancy test and it was negative and no, no sperm has been anywhere near me.”
Junior Doctor: “Well, we will do another test.”
(Two hours after that, when I am finally seen by the on-call registrar…)
Registrar: “You must be in agony. Any chance you might be pregnant?”
Me: “You’ve done two pregnancy tests tonight, both negative. This is my only sexual partner. Please, can you just give me some pain relief?”
Registrar: “Yes, we will get antibiotics and saline set up via a cannula and get you some pain relief and then admit you. We need to do swabs for MRSA and a pregnancy test.”
Me: “I have not been able to keep anything down, including more than a sip of water, for over twelve hours now. I am quite dehydrated. The chances of me being able to pee into a cup are very slim.”
Registrar: “Well, just do what you can.”
(A few hours later, I am admitted in the middle of the night and finally given pain relief, and I wake up on the ward.)
Nurse: “Now, we have an order for a pregnancy test; apparently, you couldn’t produce a sample last night, but now that we have fluids in you, you should be able to.”
Me: “I have had two pregnancy tests already since I got here, but sure, let’s do a third.”
(Later, during surgical rounds…)
Surgeon: “Right, well, you’re on the list for urgent surgery. We will need to do a pregnancy test before we can operate, though.”
Me: “You have done three already. All negative. My only sexual partner doesn’t produce sperm and we are not trying for a baby.”
Surgeon: “Three? Maybe I can check those results.”
Me: “Thanks.”
(Nope, the nurse appeared with another cup for me to pee into. I had my appendix out and I was very definitely not pregnant.)
Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, USA, Virginia | Healthy | April 19, 2019
I am extremely susceptible to fungal infections like ringworm. It’s not a real problem, for the most part, just an unsightly nuisance. I had a mark on my arm that I knew from experience was a fungal infection, but the OTC drugs don’t work well on me, so while I was visiting a new doctor about an unrelated issue I asked her about getting a prescription for it. The doctor asked me why I needed it, so I showed her the mark on my arm and explained my history with these kinds of infections.
The doctor immediately got extremely snotty and annoyed with me. She said that I wasn’t a doctor — which is true — and that whatever that mark was, it was not a fungal infection, and that it could be very serious. She said I should tell her about any worrisome marks and then let her do her job — determining what they are and making decisions about my care — without making guesses about what the problem is. She announced that she was going to look at a sample of the mark to determine what it was and what needed to be done, took a skin scraping, and flounced out of the room.
Five minutes later she was back. She wouldn’t look me in the eye while she told me it was a fungal infection, handed me a script, and then marched out.
Albany, Blood Donation, New York, Silly, Spouses & Partners, USA | Healthy | April 17, 2019
(For those who don’t know, there is a specialized blood donation process called apheresis. In this type of donation, the platelets are separated out of the bloodstream and collected, while the rest of the blood is returned to the body. It takes longer than a regular whole blood donation but can be done more often so people can give more. The phone rings and I answer it.)
Me: “Hello?”
Caller: “Hello, this is [Caller] from the American Red Cross calling to speak to [Husband] about scheduling an apheresis appointment.”
Me: *calling out* “[Husband], it’s the Red Cross. They want to suck your blood!”
Hospital, Patients, Silly, UK | Healthy | April 15, 2019
(I’ve been referred to a gynaecologist. After taking my history he shows me behind a curtain, where there is a bed with stirrups, and asks me to get ready for an examination. After a minute or two, I am ready.)
Doctor: *from the other side of the curtain* “Are you decent?”
(My legs are in stirrups, and my genitals are completely exposed.)
Me: *jokingly* “Well, I definitely wouldn’t say I’m decent…”
Columbus, Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Medical Office, Ohio, USA | Healthy | April 14, 2019
(I am coming in for a routine checkup with my GP. I am female and he is going through all the questions. Then, we get to the contraceptive part.)
Doctor: “Are you on birth control?”
Me: “No, I don’t react well to it.”
Doctor: “So, what do you use for protection?”
Me: “Condoms.”
Doctor: “Condoms are fine and all, but not 100% effective. You should really also be on birth control pills.”
Me: “Well, I tried taking the lowest dose offered, but I gained a ton of weight and was always throwing up while I was on it. I don’t react well to it and prefer not to take it. Condoms work just fine.”
Doctor: “Just using condoms is like playing Russian Roulette! It does not protect you 100%!”
Me: *thinking to myself that the “pullout method” was more akin to “Russian Roulette* “Well, again, I get really sick when I’ve taken it in the past, so I really don’t want it.”
(He went on for about five minutes more on how I was being “risky.” I couldn’t help but feel he was being a “pill pusher” and not listening to what I was saying. At that point, I was 26 and married with a steady job, so if I did accidentally become pregnant it wouldn’t have been the end of the world. Every time I went in after that, he was always pushing birth control. I think I need a new GP.)
Extra Stupid, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, Patients, USA, Virginia | Healthy | April 13, 2019
I’m the dumb patient here.
I had just received a cortisone shot for hip pain and the nurse was giving me post-op instructions, one of which was no soaking baths for three days. I said that I was driving to Chicago the next day and was disappointed that I couldn’t use the hotel hot tub, but then I said, “Well, that’s okay; I’ll just swim extra laps.”
The nurse gave me an odd look and reminded me that the instructions also meant “no swimming.”
Related:
H2-D’oh!, Part 5
H2-D’oh!, Part 4
H2-D’oh!, Part 3
Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Lazy/Unhelpful, Ohio, USA | Healthy | April 12, 2019
(I am in the ER due to a high fever and an inability to breathe without wheezing for a week, having been urged by the nurse advice line to go in. Previously, my GP, who works at the hospital, said that my inability to breathe was due to allergies. I am annoyed at this because she did not even listen to my lungs, even when I told her it felt like I had something in my left lung. After a surprisingly short wait for this emergency room, I get my vitals taken, and then I’m sent back to a room to wait for the doctor to see me. When she finally comes, the doctor barely looks up from her clipboard.)
Doctor: “Miss [My Name], it looks like to me that you have allergies.”
Me: “No, I–“
Doctor: *looks up, clearly annoyed* “Your previous doctor said it was allergies. Coming to my emergency room will not make it not allergies. I’ll even give you an x-ray to show it.” *looks back down at her clipboard* “So, I need you to take a pregnancy test.”
Me: “Don’t need it.”
Doctor: “Yes, you do.”
Me: “I am asexual and my girlfriend lives in another state. No, I do not!”
(I start a wheezing, coughing fit; I try to talk when I can get a breath.)
Me: “Allergies in me makes me lose hearing in my right ear. It makes me look like I’ve been bawling. This. Is. Not. Allergies!”
(The doctor is stunned at my outburst, and because she accidentally left the sliding door open, there are a few other attendings who are staring. The doctor runs off, slamming the door shut behind her. It is over a half hour before a nurse comes to wheel me to the x-ray.)
Nurse: “By the way, good job at getting her to look up and shut up. We said it didn’t look like allergies when [Other Nurse] took your vitals.” *under her breath* “I bet she wasn’t even reading your chart.”
(After the x-ray and breathing treatments, the doctor came back and sheepishly admitted that I had pneumonia in both lungs, my left lung being the worst she’d ever seen. I was also pleasantly surprised to learn that whenever I returned to the hospital for a followup, I didn’t have to deal with the pregnancy question again.)
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