Have A Heart, Use Your Brain

Vie For A Vial
CALIFORNIA, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 6, 2018
(I just started working at a small, independent pharmacy. It’s located in the downtown area of a small town that is predominantly upper-middle-class families. And with that population, we get patients in that ask for a bit more specific requests than what I’m used to. I have just started and am being trained when I overhear this conversation with my technician. Note: since we are small pharmacy, profit margins are tight, so for expensive medications, we don’t open the bottles and fill them until the patient has come to pick up and paid. We pride ourselves on customer service, doing almost anything for the customer.)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up for [Customer].”

Tech: “All right, just give me a few moments to pour these bottles into the vial.”

(She is getting over 400 tablets of the medication.)

Customer: “Let me see what you’re putting it in.”

Tech: *shows the vial* “Will this one be good for you?”

Customer: “No! That one is too tall; I’m going to spill it.

Tech: *shows different vial* “What about this one?”

Customer: “No! It’s too short; I’m going to lose it.”

Tech: *shows another vial* “This one? I can fit it in two of them.”

Customer: “I don’t want to; that’s too much!”

(This repeats for a couple minutes, going over various vials, usually the same one, multiple times, the customer making up some random excuse.)

Tech: *showing her the first vial* “What about this one?”

Customer: “Yes! That one is perfect!”

(The tech finishes up putting her medications together and the patient leaves.)

Me: “How did you handle that without freaking out?”

Tech: “I was about to punch her in her face if she said no to another one of these stupid bottles.”

Needs To Prescribe Some Anger-Management
GERMANY, JERK, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | MARCH 3, 2018
(I work at a call centre for a German online pharmacy. Unlike other pharmacies, we allow customers to pre-order medicines which requires prescriptions. It should go without saying, but we’re not allowed to ship orders that contain a prescription, until the original is sent to us by a postal service. There are also no shipping costs for our customer, if there is a prescription.)

Me: “Your [Pharmacy]. You are speaking with [My Name].”

Customer: “I placed an order last week at your store and it still hasn’t arrived. Where is it?”

Me: “Oh, that doesn’t sound so good. Could you please tell me your order number?”

(The customer doesn’t have it, so I search for her by name. It takes me a while to find her, as she has a very common name and doesn’t want to give me her postal code.)

Me: “Ah, there we have you. I’m afraid your prescription for [Medicine] hasn’t arrived yet.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! I do not need a prescription for that order! Send them to me at once!”

(I try to stay cool.)

Me: “Ma’am, [Medicine] requires a prescription, by law. We cannot deliver this order until we have the original prescription.”

Customer: “Then you should at least have told me so!”

Me: “Our online store has classified this item as one that requires a prescription. You have also received an order confirmation that asks you for your prescription.”

Customer: “No, I never received a confirmation, so don’t dare lie to me!”

Me: “Uh… Ma’am, I do not understand; you received the confirmation on [date and time].”

Customer: “No, I never did; I’ll show you!”

(I can hear her typing and the sound of a mail program opening. She waits for a moment, and then she starts mumbling to herself.)

Customer: “’Dear Mrs. [Name], thank you for your order. Please send us your your original prescription by mail, so we can continue with that order.’”

(The customer wheezes angrily.)

Customer: “This is way too complicated with your store! Other pharmacies will send them to me immediately!”

Me: “Ma’am, even other pharmacies have to wait for your prescription, as [Medicine] requires one.”

Customer: “I will never order at your store ever again! I’ve never been insulted this badly in my entire life!”

(The customer called the next day. She made a new order without the prescription and asked if that was all right.)

Sarah Connor’s Pharmacy Job
BOSSES & OWNERS, CANADA, EMPLOYEES, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, ONTARIO, PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 21, 2018
(I get a job at a small pharmacy as a cashier. The job involves a lot more than just simple cashiering, but I catch on quite quickly, and within a month the possibility of increasing my hours is discussed. The store then goes under new owners, but all the cashiers are kept on staff, and assured that their jobs are secure. Fast forward to my next shift. This takes place in July.)

Owner: “[My Name], can you come into the office for a minute? I just want to have a quick word.”

Me: “Sure!” *thinking the uniforms he ordered for us had come in*

Owner: “I’ve been thinking it over, and this really isn’t a job that can be done part-time. In order to stay up to date on all the policies and information, everyone really has to be here full-time. With all the students leaving soon to go back to school, I’ve decided that it would be easiest to let all the students go now.”

Me: “Okay…” *thinking I’m about to be offered the full-time position, as I’m not a student*

Owner: “I’m sorry; I just find it easiest to terminate people before their shift starts.”

Me: “Wait. What?”

Owner: “As of right now, you’re terminated.”

Me: “But I’m not a student.”

Owner: *shocked* “What?! You’re not?”

Me: “No. I’ve been out of high school for a few years, and am holding off on going to college.”

Owner: “Oh, nobody told me that.”

Me: “So, is there any way I could be kept on, full-time?”

Owner: “I would have to think about it.”

Me: *blank look*

Owner: “You see, I already filled the full-time positions, and filed the termination paperwork. If you want to reapply, I’ll consider rehiring you if something falls through with one of the new employees, but all but one have already accepted the job, and I already offered it to the other one.”

Me: “Okay, then. When does the termination take effect?”

Owner: “Right now. I did it now because it’s easiest to do it, and get it done within the first three months.”

(I was too shocked in the moment to say anything, but once I processed what had happened, I was — and still am — livid. How incompetent must one be to skip something so basic as reading employee files BEFORE terminating them, to ensure they’re actually being fired for a legitimate reason?)

Looks Like They Already Had Their Drugs
NEW YORK, PHARMACY, RUDE & RISQUE, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 19, 2018
(I have just started my first job at a local pharmacy and convenience store, and it is my third day of training. I am standing behind the counter with an older coworker of mine. We hear the door open, and look over.)

Customer: *quickly walks through the doors and to the other end of the floor, where the pharmacy is*

Me: *looking at my coworker* “Was she…”

Coworker: *taking a sip of an energy drink* “…not wearing any pants? Welcome to the job, kid.”

Me: “…”

At Least You Know The Medicine Is Kosher
NEW YORK, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 16, 2018
(I am the dumb customer in this instance. The store that I work at has a pharmacy in it, where I get all of my medications. The store has a policy in the pharmacy where the first three letters of the customers names are printed on the bags you pick up your prescriptions in. The first time I go to pick up a prescription there, I have never seen this before. Upon picking up my prescription, I see the first three letters of my last name.)

Prescription: “JEW.”

Me: *in genuine confusion* “No, I’m not?”

When You Work For Them You’re Branded
BOSSES & OWNERS, INDIANA, NEW HIRES, PHARMACY, USA | WORKING | APRIL 9, 2018
(I get hired for [Popular Pharmacy Chain] and go through their training. It’s all through their computer system, with videos and quizzes. There’s a thirty-minute session on “branded greetings,” which explains how I have to say the same things during every transaction so customers always have a uniform experience at every store in the chain. I feel like a robot doing this, but I’m good at the spiel after about a week. Then, my manager pulls me aside.)

Manager: “Why are you using branded greetings?”

Me: *thinking this is a test* “Um… so that every customer gets the same treatment at every store and we deliver a uniform experience.”

Manager: “We haven’t used those in years. People said we sounded like robots, and corporate made us stop.”

Me: “Well, it’s still in the training.”

Manager: “Oh, well, you don’t have to do that anymore. I apparently have to update the training software.” *runs off*

Me: *facepalm*

Not Passing With Flying Colors
DUBLIN, EMPLOYEES, IRELAND, JERK, PHARMACY | WORKING | APRIL 3, 2018
(I am in a well-known UK-based pharmacy and drugstore, looking for a hand cream. I am wearing ripped jeans, combat boots, and a leather jacket, and have very short hair. I smile at the staff as I walk in and set off in search of the right aisle, minding my own business. As I open a tube to smell the cream, the worker beside the door rushes up and snatches the bottle out of my hand.)

Worker: “Can you not open the products? What are you looking for?”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I was just smelling it. I’m fine, thanks.”

(I think that’s the end of it, as she stalks off. I pick up my items and turn the corner, checking out the makeup. As I swatch a lipstick tester, the same worker storms up and glares at me.)

Worker: “I said don’t open the products! You’ll have to pay for it now!”

Me: “Excuse me? This is a tester, and I haven’t even touched it yet!”

Worker: “Fine. Sit down. I’ll match a colour to you. You clearly need it; whoever matched your current foundation must be colour-blind.”

Me: *taken aback by the sheer rudeness of this woman* “Er. No, thanks.”

(I walked away, irritated, but still with some time to kill before my bus home, so I browsed some other items. I could see the worker following me closely and glaring if I so much as reached out towards a product. Eventually, I had enough. I went to the till, with her following. The girl at the checkout scanned my items and my loyalty card and told me my total. As I handed her my money, the rude worker stormed over and grabbed the iodine pen, scribbling all over my note, a smug grin on her face. I waited as nothing happened to my money, and silently fumed as I was handed my receipt. I felt her glare boring into my back as I left the shop, seriously having to bite down on my tongue to stop myself from yelling at her. I get that workers are supposed to upsell and offer assistance, but judging me outright by my appearance, being incredibly rude about my makeup, and being convinced I’m a thief with no reason is taking it a bit far.)

Would You Like A Cosmo With Your Allergy Bran?
HOLIDAYS, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, LOUISIANA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 1, 2018
(It’s Easter Sunday. My parents, my grandmother, and I are coming back from an early dinner out at an uptown restaurant and we stop to pick up some prescriptions for my grandmother at an old pharmacy where the restroom is in the back room. This exchange occurs just as I exit the back room after using the restroom.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I’m looking for [Specific Allergy Brand], but I can’t find it, and this is the allergy aisle. Would it be anywhere else?”

Me: “I have no idea, sorry. Um, good luck.”

(The customer muttered something under her breath that I couldn’t hear as I was walking away. During this exchange I was wearing a cocktail dress and heels, and she looked right at me as she was asking her question.)

Spells Something Else Entirely
CALIFORNIA, FUNNY NAMES, PHARMACY, SACRAMENTO, USA, WORDPLAY | RIGHT | MAY 19, 2018
(I’m the customer in this story. I’ve just seen my doctor for the first time, and she’s sent down a prescription for me to the pharmacy downstairs. I make it up to the window, and there are a ton of people down there, so it’s a little noisy.)

Clerk: “It looks like your prescription isn’t ready yet, but I’m going to write down your name so we can call you when it’s ready. Can you give me your name?”

Me: *gives name*

Clerk: “And who’s your doctor?”

Me: “Dr. Fu.”

Clerk: “Sorry, it’s a little loud, I didn’t quite hear that. Can you spell your doctor’s name for me?”

Me: “Sure. It’s F-U.” *pause* “Oh, my God, that’s not what I meant!”

Clerk: *laughs*

When Double Trouble Is Not Enough
FUNNY KIDS, PHARMACY, SIBLINGS, USA | RELATED | MAY 11, 2018
(I’m waiting in line for the cashier when a woman walks up behind me with two boys. They’re junior-high-aged and alike as two peas in a pod.)

Woman: “[Boy #1 ], you keep our place in line while I take [Boy #2 ] over to look at the braces.”

(She walks off with the other lad.)

Me: “So, is it fun being a twin?”

Boy #1 : *grinning* “We aren’t twins.”

Me: “…”

Boy #1 : *grinning even more hugely* “We’re triplets!“

Spoon-Feeding You Some Advice
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | MAY 9, 2018
(Sadly, I’m the stupid customer in this one. I have bronchitis and have just made it home from the pharmacy with my cough syrup. When I open the bag, I notice the cup that you use to take the medicine isn’t in there, so I call the pharmacy.)

Pharmacist: “Thank you for calling [Pharmacy]. This is [Pharmacist]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi. This is [My Name]. I just picked up my prescription for [cough syrup], and when I got home I saw that it didn’t have the cup thing you use to take it with.”

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, [My Name]. Do you want to come back and pick one up?”

Me: “Well, I have to take the bus, and I don’t want to get everyone else sick, too.”

Pharmacist: “Okay, well, do you bake?”

Me: *slightly confused* “Yes?”

Pharmacist: “Then you can use the teaspoon measuring spoon from your baking set.”

Me: “But… but… I need medicine teaspoons, not baking teaspoons.”

(She then proceeded to calmly explain to me that teaspoons were teaspoons, no matter what they were used for.)

Prescribing Some Honesty
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, OHIO, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MAY 4, 2018
(I work in the pharmacy of a large drug store chain. A few weeks prior to this incident, a man came in and was acting twitchy. He eventually shoved some greeting cards down his pants and put a beer in his pocket before leaving. Shoplifting is hard to prove, but we got it on camera. On a day I am working, he comes back in with some prescriptions. I start putting them in; I have no idea about the previous incident.)

Lead Tech: “Stop! Don’t fill his stuff. [Manager] said since we got him stealing on camera, we can ask him to leave.”

(He goes to alert the pharmacist of the situation.)

Pharmacist: “[Shoplifter]! I am sorry, but I can’t fill this prescription for you.”

Shoplifter: “Why not? I need my medicine.”

Pharmacist: “Sir, last time you were in, we caught you stealing on camera, and we are choosing not to serve you. Please take your prescriptions elsewhere.” *hands him back his papers*

Shoplifter: *takes them* “It was only a beer!”

(He did end up taking his prescriptions and leaving, and the pharmacist filled me in on the previous incident. We were all so shocked that he admitted to stealing, and then also tried to act like it was okay!)

Name Change Approved
AUSTRALIA, HOBART, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, TASMANIA, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | MAY 4, 2018
(A customer is picking up a regular prescription medication but he also wants something else.)

Customer: “Can I also have some ‘Stuffy Nose Squirts’?”

(He wanted a decongestant nasal spray.)

Medical Bills Paid By Friends’ Bills
ALBERTA, CALGARY, CANADA, INSPIRATIONAL, KIND STRANGERS, PHARMACY | HOPELESS | MAY 30, 2018
(I stop in the pharmacy to get some medications for my husband, who recently lost his job because of a medical condition. We were already on income support because I am physically disabled and this has been a hard hit to our income. We just found out the income support system is about to revoke our benefits unless we can prove that he does not willfully leave his job by the end of the month. With a toddler and both of us needing the medical coverage, this is terrifying. Our normal doctor is on maternity leave until January of next year and her covers won’t help us because they don’t want to deal with the system. The same story goes with every doctor we see. They all insist they need to have been seeing us for at least three months before they’ll even consider it. Neither of us have any family or support, as we were both runaways from abuse. By this point, I am counting change, trying to figure out if I have enough to get the medication we both desperately need.)

Stranger: *taps me on the shoulder* “Hey, let me get that for you.” *tries to shove a ten dollar bill in my hand*

Me: *close to tears* “Oh, no! I really can’t. Thanks, anyway.” *tries to give it back*

Stranger: “Nah, keep it. Or, hey, tell you what…” *hands me a twenty and takes the ten back* “There. Fair trade.”

(By now I was seriously crying and didn’t notice the older man’s mother coming up beside me. Gently she took me by the elbow and they both lead me away from the pharmacy counter. They started asking me questions and I admitted that we were struggling and how scared I was. They started brainstorming between the two of them and gave me numbers to doctors they trusted. They took my email and gave me their phone numbers just in case. As a last thing, they took the twenty-dollar bill, and the man shoved a bunch of money into my bag, saying he wouldn’t take no for an answer and just to pass it on when I had the chance to help someone else. I realized that yes, I needed that help right then. I stopped fighting, figuring it was at most forty bucks but would help pay my kid’s school fees. When I got home and took the money out, I was shocked to see that instead of just a small amount, he’d put five hundred dollars into my bag. That money did help keep us afloat for the next week as we paid bills. We finally found a doctor willing to help us and our income has since stabilized. I told the stranger, who is now a supporter and friend, that we’d pay him back. He refused and told me to help others, instead. I plan to.)

Those Poor, Poor, Dolphins
BIZARRE, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 28, 2018
(It’s my second day working for a pharmacy at a local grocery store. We have a display near the register that has animal-themed thermometers like dolphins, seals, whales, etc. A woman walks up and picks up a dolphin thermometer, looking at it for a good minute or so.)

Me: “Hi, did you need help with anything?”

Woman: “Yeah, are these for rectal use?”

Butt-Hurt About The Butt-Cream
BAD BEHAVIOR, OHIO, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 26, 2018
(I work in a pharmacy in a large box store. On Sundays, when only one pharmacist is on duty, the pharmacy shuts down for them to take a lunch break. This story is related to me by one of the pharmacists. The gate is down, but can sort of be seen through, and the pharmacist can be glimpsed through the holes.)

Lady: *at the top of her voice* “HEY! HEY, YOU! ARE YOU OPEN?!”

Pharmacist: “Uh, no, ma’am, we reopen in ten minutes. Please come back then.”

Lady: “IT’LL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE! I NEED SOME BUTT CREAM!”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, we’re closed! Please come back in ten minutes.”

Lady: “BUTT! CREAM! JUST GIVE ME SOME G**D*** BUTT CREAM!”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, we’re closed! We’ll reopen in ten minutes!”

Lady: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I JUST NEED SOME BUTT CREAM!”

(She finally stormed off… two minutes before we reopened for business.)

What A Baka!
BOSSES & OWNERS, CANADA, JERK, MONTREAL, PHARMACY, WORDPLAY | WORKING | MAY 21, 2018
(My supervisor is known for being quite a nit-pick and strictly following rules that don’t actually exist. Also, I’ve taken a few years of Japanese classes. One day, I get a Japanese customer at my register while my supervisor is filling a display right behind me. The customer and I chat in Japanese while I scan his items, and he asks to pay with his credit card. By company policy, we have to check an ID for every foreign credit card. The customer complies and hands me his Japanese driver license, because he forgot his passport at the hotel. I confirm that the credit card is his, and I am about to hand him his license back.)

Supervisor: “Wait! What are you doing?” *snatches the license from my hand* “You can’t accept this!”

Me: “Why is that? I know that it isn’t a passport, but this is a government-issued ID, and his picture is on it, so I don’t see why I can’t accept it.”

Supervisor: “Well, this ID is not in our alphabet! You can only accept IDs written in our alphabet.”

Me: “First, since when is this a rule? Second, you’ve heard me speak with him for the past two minutes; you know that I speak the language. I can read this, and confirm that the credit card is his.”

Supervisor: “It has to be in our alphabet! You have to be able to read it to accept it.”

Me: “But… [Supervisor], I can read it!”

Supervisor: “Hmph, I’ll let it slide for today, but don’t do that again!”

(I asked the store manager the next day. That rule doesn’t exist.)

Smoking Puts You Out Of Sync
LAZY/UNHELPFUL, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MAY 21, 2018
(At the pharmacy where I work, we sell cigarettes, among other things. This exchange happens more often than I’d like to admit.)

Customer: “Can I get [Brand] cigarettes?”

(The customer does not specify which strength or flavor of the cigarettes, as we have many.)

Me: “Which kind?”

Customer: “[Brand].”

Me: “Which type of [Brand]?”

Customer: “Oh! [Strength].”

Me: “Okay, would you like the box, soft pack, or 100s?”

Customer: “[Strength].”

Me: “Box it is.”

Customer: “I want 100s!”

Me: *screaming internally*

They Must Get Lost Driving To The AMC
NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | JULY 3, 2018
(My aunt works at the pharmacy in a CVS, and often comes home with hilarious stories about customers or doctor offices. This one in particular I find incredibly stupid.)

Aunt: “Hello, this is [Aunt] from CVS. I need to order a refill for [Medication] for [Patient].”

Doctor’s Office: “Where are you calling from?”

Aunt: “CVS.”

Doctor’s Office: “Can you spell that?”

Aunt: “Um… C-V-S.”

Doctor’s Office: “Where? Spell it?”

Aunt: “C as in ‘cat,’ V as in ‘Victor,’ S like in ‘Sam.’”

Doctor’s Office: “Where?”

(According to her, this went on for five minutes before she finally got the medication ordered. The customer even warned her that the office was awful before she made the call.)

You’re Boxing Me In Here
AUSTRALIA, HOBART, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, TASMANIA | HEALTHY | JUNE 27, 2018
(At my pharmacy, we commonly take orders by phone so that a customer’s medications can be ready to collect when they arrive. This phone order, however, is a little different.)

Me: “Good afternoon. This is [Pharmacy]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to order some medications, please.”

Me: “Sure. What do you need?”

Customer: “I can’t remember what they’re called, sorry.”

Me: “That’s okay. We can figure it out. Do you remember what they’re for?”

Customer: “No, sorry. But they come in a box…”