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Old 07-12-2021   #701
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Shout-Out To Frazzled Nurses!
CURRENT EVENTS, FUNNY, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NURSES, USA, UTAH | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 18, 2020
In July, both my wife and I contract the illness the health crisis is centered on, and we are taken to the local hospital. However, because I have complications, it is decided that I need to be transferred to a larger hospital with a pulmonologist available.

I am transferred by ambulance to the bigger hospital where there are staff waiting to admit me. I am on a stretcher with various medical staff around me. There is one nurse doing transfer paperwork for me.

Nurse: “So, do you prefer to be called Dave or David?”

This question has me puzzled.

Me: “My name is John!

Nurse: “Oops, I really must check the paperwork properly!”
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Old 07-12-2021   #702
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Testing Their Patients And Their Patience
CANADA, CURRENT EVENTS, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, STUPID | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 14, 2020
I work at a medical clinic. During the health crisis, I have variations of the following story many times.

Me: “Has the patient been tested for [illness] recently?”

Patient’s Ride: “Oh, he lives at a seniors’ facility, and they get tested regularly.”

Me: *Pause* “The actual [illness] test where they get a swab?”

Patient’s Ride: “Oh, well, they get their temperatures taken regularly.”

How people at this point don’t understand the difference between being screened and tested, I will never know.
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Old 07-12-2021   #703
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What A Load Of Crap
BLOOD DONATION, NURSES, STUPID, UK | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 10, 2020
I have been giving blood for years now without issue. Being slim, a few nurses ask me to confirm my weight because the clinic will not accept donations from anyone under fifty kg.

Nurse: “What is your weight, please?”

Me: “It’s fifty-five kg.”

Nurse: “No, it’s not. You’re underweight.”

Me: “Yes, it really is fifty-five kg; I can jump on some scales right now if you like.”

Nurse: “No, we don’t have any here. You are not fifty-five kg. When did you weigh yourself?”

Me: “This morning, because I knew I was coming here.”

Nurse: “Before breakfast and undressed?”

Me: “Yes, of course.”

Nurse: “Was it before or after you went to the bathroom?”

Me: “I had already had a wee before I weighed myself.”

Nurse: “But not passed a stool? That will account for the discrepancy, then.”

Me: “Wait. What? The cut off is fifty kg; I’m five kg over that. I can’t lose that in one trip to the bathroom.”

Nurse: “Oh, you’d be surprised.”

In the end, I was allowed to donate if I promised to completely empty my bowels before the next visit — all five kg of it, apparently.
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Old 07-12-2021   #704
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Thanks, Doctor Wazowski!
CURRENT EVENTS, DENTIST, FUNNY, MOVIES & TV, PENNSYLVANIA, PITTSBURGH, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 9, 2020
To make a long story short, due to the health crisis, I end up needing to get my six-month cleaning done at a dentist I’ve never been to before. As expected, a ton of precautions are in place: waiting outside, wearing a mask until they actually start working inside your mouth, the employees wearing extra protection, etc.

I get checked in, x-rayed, and seated in the chair just fine. Among the equipment in the room is a long metal arm with joints for maneuvering and a cone at the end. When the hygienist pulls the arm around and positions the cone a few inches away from my face; I assume it’s a light.

However, before the hygienist turns it on, she explains that it’s a “suction device” to prevent germs from escaping. Nice precaution, but as soon as she says “suction,” I can feel my eyes bug out because, knowing that’s its purpose, the shape suddenly looks VERY familiar.

Me: “What?! But… it looks exactly like the Scream Extractor from Monsters, Inc.!”

Hygienist: *Laughing* “Yeah, a lot of people have been saying that. I never saw that movie, so I didn’t get it, but I just watched it a few days ago and went, ‘Oh, my gosh, yeah. We have the Scream Machine.’”

So, I had my cleaning done with a loud vacuum running a few inches from my face, and I left very grateful that they had seen me and with a hilarious story to text to the siblings.
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Old 07-12-2021   #705
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The Least Annoying Telemarketer Ever
AWESOME, HEALTH & BODY, INSPIRATIONAL, KIND STRANGERS, TELEMARKETING, THE NETHERLANDS | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 8, 2020
The official description of colic — or “crybaby” as is its literal translation from Dutch — is “a baby that cries at least three hours a day, at least three days a week, for at least three weeks,” and it usually passes by the fourth month.

When I was a baby, I cried for twenty hours a day, every day, for over seven months. The doctors weren’t able to find a cause. Food intolerances were tried and ruled out, my parents were accused of malingering and observed in the hospital to make sure they weren’t exaggerating and/or inducing the crying, and my parents were advised to have me sleep in the barn or have me sleep over at the home of a deaf elderly relative.

Around the seven-month mark, a telemarketer called our exhausted family to sell some kind of overpriced private health insurance.

My father picked up the phone and interrupted the sales spiel.

Father: “My baby has been crying twenty hours a day for the past seven months. She’s obviously in pain, and the doctors can’t find the cause or solve it and are still looking. You don’t want us as your customers.”

Telemarketer: “No, I totally understand. I hope I’m not overstepping, but have you tried a chiropractor? That could be KISS syndrome.”

My parents had not tried a chiropractor.

One week later, to the chiropractor I went.

That afternoon, my older brother — who didn’t know I had had any kind of appointment that day — looked at my parents in obvious concern.

Brother: “I think there’s something wrong with the baby. They’re never this quiet.”

My parents didn’t buy from the telemarketer, and they don’t remember her name. But we are all very glad a salesperson called us that day.
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Old 07-12-2021   #706
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Time To Put This Working Relationship Behind You
BAD BEHAVIOR, CANADA, COWORKERS, HEALTH & BODY, OFFICE, VANCOUVER | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 7, 2020
I was in a work-related accident years ago and have a recurring neck issue. During one flareup, I head to our first aid person to note the pain in case I have to leave early from work or go to the doctor.

First Aid: “Where does it hurt?”

I point at the back of my neck and she stands behind me, poking at the spot.

First Aid: “We could try a realignment.”

Me: “No. No, thank you. This is recurring and I just need it noted. I’ll see my doctor if it gets worse.”

First Aid: “But we could just—”

Me: “No. I don’t need treatment. Just please note it.”

She starts massaging the area and pulling me to her.

Me: “Look—”

She takes my head and turns it sharply, making my neck audibly snap.

Me: “What the f***?!”

I stumbled forward away from her, suddenly lightheaded. I walked away, not looking back, furious that she snapped my neck without permission. She’s not allowed behind me ever again.
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Old 07-12-2021   #707
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You Need Thick Skin To Deal With These Thick Skulls
BIZARRE, CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, EMERGENCY ROOM, HOSPITAL, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, INDONESIA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 6, 2020
I’m the attending doctor at the ER. Earlier this morning, we treated a man who crashed his bike and got a pretty nasty bruise as well as a concussion. A CT scan showed a fractured bone so he’ll need surgery. He told us he’d be using insurance, so he “wants a full record of everything you guys find.”

Later that day, a woman comes into the ER and starts banging on our table.

Woman: “EXCUSE ME! WHICH ONE OF YOU TREATED [PATIENT]?!”

Me: “Yes ma’am. I’m Doctor [My Name]. How can I he—”

Woman: “ARE YOU WEARING UNDERWEAR?!”

As you can guess, everyone in the room stops whatever they’re doing.

Me: “Pardon?”

Woman: “YES, YOU! ARE YOU WEARING UNDERWEAR?”

Me: “I don’t see how it’s— Why, yes, of course. What seems to be the matter?”

Woman: “Are you really? So why is it not stated in your uniform? Or your nametag?”

Me: “What does it have to do with [Patient], may I ask?”

Woman: “How dare you write in the report that my husband was not wearing a helmet?! I’ve just got a call from my insurance company that they’ll not pay the surgery because you wrote that he wasn’t wearing a helmet!“

Nurse: “Well, ma’am, your husband did say he wanted a full report exactly because he wants to use insurance.”

Woman: *Turns to nurse* “Well, b****, are you wearing a bra?! Now if he asks for a full report, why didn’t you also write in whether he’s wearing underwear or not? That’s not full report, is it, b****?“

Me: “Because we’re writing down things that are medically relevant. The fact he’s not wearing a helmet is, because he came in with a—”

Woman: “I don’t care! Now you’re gonna pay for his surgery because my insurance won’t pay! And it’s your fault!“

Then she stormed out of the ER, but not before yelling loudly, “THE DOCTOR IS NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR!”
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Old 07-12-2021   #708
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If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 8
ASSISTED LIVING, ENGLAND, HEALTH & BODY, REVOLTING, UK | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 5, 2020
I work in a specialist nursing home for people with severe and enduring mental health problems. A female resident with South East Asian origins enjoys cooking and offers to make traditional chai tea for staff, under supervision.

Whilst being assisted by a support worker whose English is not great, she adds more than fifty teaspoons of sugar to the pan, as well as spices and other ingredients.

Me: “This tea tastes really good!”

Those of us who don’t mind the sweetness enjoy it.

Then, the support worker tells a colleague about part of the cooking process.

Support Worker: “She just crushed the walnuts by crunching them in her mouth and then spitting them into the pan.”

She hadn’t realised that people would find this revolting!

We agreed that when she made it again, she needed to use appropriate equipment to do that task. Thankfully, the support worker saw the sense of this.

I was not too concerned about this, given how many motorway service stations I ate in during my childhood in the 1970s, where I probably ingested far worse!
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Old 07-12-2021   #709
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If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 7
COFFEE SHOP, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, UK | RIGHT | JULY 26, 2020
I work as a cafe barista on a UK campus. One morning, a customer who is infamous among the staff for being rude comes by and orders a latte. The transaction goes on normally, and she waits for her drink while I prepare it. When she collects her drink, she decides to add syrup to it.

Customer: “I want to add chai syrup to my drink.”

Me: “Sure thing, I just need to put the request through the till.”

Customer: “Okay, no problem; I can pay. How much is it?”

Me: “That will be 50p.”

Customer: “How much?”

Me: “50 pence.”

Customer: “No, I want four extra pumps of chai syrup. How much is that?”

Me: *In bewilderment* “It will cost you 50 pence.”

Customer: “No, I come here all the time! One, two, three, four! Do you understand?!”

I reply in a raised voice but trying my best not to shout.

Me: “Yeah, it’s gonna cost 50p!”

This goes on for a while. Luckily, it’s a quiet morning so there aren’t any other customers around. Finally, she takes out her card and asks one last time.

Customer: “Fine, I just want my drink! How much is it?!”

Me: *Pause* “It’s 50p.”

I add the syrup and give her the drink. By this time, my colleague has heard the commotion and arrived to hear her parting shot.

Customer: “You don’t speak English, by any chance?”

After the customer has left:

Colleague: “How did you not hit her?!”

I am not from the UK and don’t have a local accent, but English is my native language and I haven’t had a single problem communicating with anybody while in the UK. The customer is also not local, most probably from an Eastern European country based on her accent.
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Old 07-12-2021   #710
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If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 6
COFFEE SHOP, EMPLOYEES, MISSOURI, STUPID, USA | WORKING | MAY 23, 2018
(My husband and I stop at a drive-thru coffee shop for drinks. I don’t drink coffee, but I love this shop’s chai lattes, so I ask for one.)

Husband: “Can we have a medium, decaf, chai vanilla latte and a small peppermint mocha?”

Worker: “Sure! That will be [price] at the window!”

(We pull forward, pay, get our drinks, and pull off. I take my first sip and taste nothing but coffee.)

Me: “This has coffee in it.”

Husband: “What? I’m sorry. Why would they put coffee in it?”

Me: “Maybe because you said, ‘latte’? I mean, that’s what it’s called, but maybe that confused her?”

(We drive back through and pull up to the window.)

Worker: *looking confused* “Can I help you?”

Me: “There was coffee in my chai.”

Worker: “Yeah. You asked for a decaf chai. Decaf means coffee, so I thought you wanted decaf espresso in it.”

Me: “No… I hate coffee. Chai is black tea which has caffeine, so I just wanted that decaf.”

Worker: “So… that’s just regular chai.”

Me: “Yes, but without caffeine?”

Worker: *still seeming confused* “So… just a regular chai?”

Me: *giving up* “Please just give me a vanilla chai, no coffee.”

(To her credit, she did upgrade me to a large, and there was no coffee in my second order. But how do you work at a coffee shop and not know that tea has caffeine?)
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Old 07-12-2021   #711
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If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 5
COFFEE SHOP | WORKING | APRIL 28, 2016
(I live in an area where tiny, locally owned coffee shacks are incredibly common. Darn near every establishment has one in their parking lot or built into their business one way or another. Unfortunately, this does not guarantee that whatever barista you’re ordering from knows what they are doing, so I’ve learned to ask what more experienced coffee buyers would consider no-brainer questions. Sometimes I’m still painfully disappointed. This particular shop is part of a flower shop that also hosts the weekly farmer’s market, and I stop in to get drinks while at the market to reduce my number of stops that afternoon.)

Me: “Okay, we’ll do a small hot chocolate, but for a kid so not so hot. A large quad mocha. And I see you have chai, is that in a latte or black?”

Barista: “Oh, no, sweetie. Chai is actually a kind of tea and doesn’t have coffee in it!”

Me: *taken aback slightly because while I’m not old, I’m definitely not young enough to be called “sweetie” by the early 20s barista* “I know it’s tea. I just want to know if you serve it in a latte or black?”

Barista: “I don’t get it. Are you wanting me to add a shot of coffee and make it a latte?”

Me: *confused, starting to catch on to where this is going* “Latte means it has milk in it…”

Barista: *suddenly extremely condescending* “No, it means COFFEE. Like a mocha latte is a coffee drink.”

Me: “Actually latte comes from same root word as lactose. It means it’s a drink with milk in it.”

Barista: “Well I don’t know how to tell you this, but latte means it’s a coffee drink. But, yes, our chai comes with milk in it, and I can add coffee if that’s what you want, but it’s 70 cents per shot…”

Me: *finally snapping after having a bad day, I turn and start toward the door while trying to remain as cold as possible* “You know what? I changed my mind about getting my coffee here. I’ll just go now.”

Barista: *sarcastically* “Wait! Don’t go! I was learning SO much from you!”

(While I heard she didn’t last long, I haven’t had the heart to go back there even for flowers after that exchange.)
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Old 07-12-2021   #712
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If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 4
COFFEE SHOP, COLLEGE & UNIVERSITY | WORKING | MARCH 22, 2016
(There is a coffee shop on campus, and I often go for tea to keep me awake in class. Since most of the staff are students, there seems to be somebody new every couple weeks. I order a large iced soy chai, but when it’s called the drink is barely off-white. I take a sip, and there is just the faintest hint of tea.)

Me: “Uh, excuse me, but I don’t think you put enough chai in this. It’s usually a lot darker.”

Barista: “Oh, that’s the soy milk. It’s white, so the drink turns out white, too.”

Me: “How much chai did you put in this? I always get it with soy but it’s never been anywhere close to this light.”

Barista: “I just learned this one, and the instructions say to put one pump in the cup, and that is what I did!”

Me: “It’s a twenty-ounce drink. One pump may be enough for a small, but—”

(She snatches the drink off the counter, tips about an inch down the sink, and adds just a little more chai concentrate.)

Barista: *very condescending* “There, sweetie, I added an extra pump just for you. Y’all have a blessed day now, you hear?”

(In the American South, with that particular tone of voice, this is about as polite as you can ask someone to go f*** themselves without swearing, but still make sure they know what you’re thinking. If she wasn’t already making me late for class, I would’ve asked for a manager. My drink continued not to taste very much like chai, but I never saw her again anywhere on campus.)
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Old 07-12-2021   #713
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If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 4
COFFEE SHOP, COLLEGE & UNIVERSITY | WORKING | MARCH 22, 2016
(There is a coffee shop on campus, and I often go for tea to keep me awake in class. Since most of the staff are students, there seems to be somebody new every couple weeks. I order a large iced soy chai, but when it’s called the drink is barely off-white. I take a sip, and there is just the faintest hint of tea.)

Me: “Uh, excuse me, but I don’t think you put enough chai in this. It’s usually a lot darker.”

Barista: “Oh, that’s the soy milk. It’s white, so the drink turns out white, too.”

Me: “How much chai did you put in this? I always get it with soy but it’s never been anywhere close to this light.”

Barista: “I just learned this one, and the instructions say to put one pump in the cup, and that is what I did!”

Me: “It’s a twenty-ounce drink. One pump may be enough for a small, but—”

(She snatches the drink off the counter, tips about an inch down the sink, and adds just a little more chai concentrate.)

Barista: *very condescending* “There, sweetie, I added an extra pump just for you. Y’all have a blessed day now, you hear?”

(In the American South, with that particular tone of voice, this is about as polite as you can ask someone to go f*** themselves without swearing, but still make sure they know what you’re thinking. If she wasn’t already making me late for class, I would’ve asked for a manager. My drink continued not to taste very much like chai, but I never saw her again anywhere on campus.)
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Old 07-13-2021   #714
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Nothing’s Warmer Than These Nurses’ Hearts
AWESOME, FAMILY & KIDS, HOSPITAL, INSPIRATIONAL, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 27, 2020
When my younger brother is born, he contracts an infection from a nurse that was sick with a cold when she delivered him. As such, he has to stay in the NICU for a couple of weeks. My mother cannot stay in the hospital with him due to having my two-year-old self at home.

My brother is very snuggly as a baby; he loves being held and nestles his head closer to the person holding him. Because of this, he becomes a favorite among the NICU nurses. Naturally, the nurses hold him a lot and pass him around so each gets a turn with the snuggly baby.

One day, when my mother is visiting, she finds out through this exchange.

Mom approaches the NICU.

Nurse: “Quick! Put him back! The mother is coming!”

My mother hears this and smiles instantly; she had been worried that her newborn wasn’t getting enough attention.

Mom: *Walking in the room* “Oh, you don’t have to put him back when I come. I have a toddler at home so I can’t be here as much as I’d like to be, and I’ve been worried since I’m not here to hold him as much as he needs to be. I’m actually relieved to know that he’s getting enough attention.”

The nurses’ faces lit up, and they started to be less secretive about their cuddle sessions, gladly handing him to my mom whenever she was able to visit.

This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for November 2020!



Read the next Feel Good roundup story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for November 2020!

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A Cool-Headed Manager Turneth Away Wrath
INSTANT KARMA, JERK, PHARMACY, REDDIT | HEALTHY | CREDIT: RAINBOWNATOR96 | NOVEMBER 26, 2020
I’m working the drive-thru at a pharmacy when an older patient who has occasionally been a handful pulls up. She has two prescriptions to fill and she hands me an empty tube of name-brand hydrocortisone cream.

Patient: “Can you get me another tube of this, too, please?”

Normally, we’re supposed to encourage patients to call ahead for curbside pickup, but we are slow and I am feeling nice. I leave the pharmacy, pick up the same tube, and add it to her order. The cream is about $6.

Later she comes in and starts complaining to the manager on duty.

Patient: “I bought this in the drive-thru earlier, and the employee there was rude to me, and she overcharged me! I demand that she be fired!”

She started generally causing a scene. Apparently, she wanted the store brand that was $3 cheaper. Surprisingly, after the manager reminded her that I was doing her a favor and I technically wasn’t supposed to leave the pharmacy to get over-the-counter products, she calmed down and left. I realize I could have been a bit friendlier, but I’m not a mind reader, lady.

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Sounds Like It’d Be Easier To Just Wait It Out
FUNNY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, INSURANCE, USA, WISCONSIN | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 25, 2020
I help people sign up for Medicare insurance plans and answer questions, whether they’re related to medicare or not, to the best of my ability. This is a memorable call.

Customer #1 : “Can you get Medicare at age seventeen?”

Me: “It’s possible, if unusual. If—”

There is a second person apparently listening to the phone on speaker.

Customer #2 : “Don’t you need to be sixty-five?”

Me: “Everyone can get it at sixty-five, but people on Social Security Disability can get it earlier, as well as people with kidney failure.”

Customer #1 : “So, it can be done before age sixty-five?”

Me: “Seventeen is rare, but it’s possible. There are other conditions that can get it for you early, as well, like Lou Gehrig’s disease.”

Customer #2 : “But you don’t really get it before sixty-five—”

Customer #1 : “Nuh-uh, he said it’s possible. You lost the bet, so—”

They disconnected the call at that point. I’ve done many things in this job, but I’ve never settled a bet before today.

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Impossible Demands: Back To The Future Edition
AUSTRALIA, HOBART, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, TASMANIA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 23, 2020
Customer: “Has the doctor sent you my prescription yet?”

Me: “I’ll just have a look for you.”

I check both the physical file of hard copies and our digital copies saved on the computer.

Me: “Nope, sorry, it hasn’t arrived yet.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s right. The doctor moved my appointment to this afternoon so I haven’t seen him yet.”

Me: *Pause* “That’s probably why I can’t find it. See you this afternoon, then?”

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Brace Yourself!
ALABAMA, DENTIST, INSTANT KARMA, JERK, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 22, 2020
When I am a teen with braces, I have some problems with the brackets popping off fairly often — sometimes even when I’m not eating or doing anything with my teeth at the time. After yet another time of one of my brackets popping off for no reason, I am once again at the dentist getting it fixed.

The hygienist scolds me pretty strongly, even though I told her it popped off when I wasn’t eating anything.

Hygienist: “You need to be more careful! You’ll have to wear braces for even longer if you keep this up. You need to be much more careful about what you eat.”

Then, the dentist checks my teeth and tells me they are ahead of schedule and I might be able to have my braces off early.

When we are about to leave the dentist’s office, my mom has to use the restroom, so I wait for her by the front door. I haven’t even made it out of the dentist’s office, and I haven’t put anything in my mouth, and a bracket pops off.

As soon as my mom gets out of the restroom, we turn right around and walk back to the dentist’s reception desk… only to find that the dentist has just left for lunch. We have to make an appointment for later in the day.

But at least they stopped blaming me for the problem, and they started being more careful to attach the brackets thoroughly.
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Old 07-13-2021   #715
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A Cool-Headed Manager Turneth Away Wrath
INSTANT KARMA, JERK, PHARMACY, REDDIT | HEALTHY | CREDIT: RAINBOWNATOR96 | NOVEMBER 26, 2020
I’m working the drive-thru at a pharmacy when an older patient who has occasionally been a handful pulls up. She has two prescriptions to fill and she hands me an empty tube of name-brand hydrocortisone cream.

Patient: “Can you get me another tube of this, too, please?”

Normally, we’re supposed to encourage patients to call ahead for curbside pickup, but we are slow and I am feeling nice. I leave the pharmacy, pick up the same tube, and add it to her order. The cream is about $6.

Later she comes in and starts complaining to the manager on duty.

Patient: “I bought this in the drive-thru earlier, and the employee there was rude to me, and she overcharged me! I demand that she be fired!”

She started generally causing a scene. Apparently, she wanted the store brand that was $3 cheaper. Surprisingly, after the manager reminded her that I was doing her a favor and I technically wasn’t supposed to leave the pharmacy to get over-the-counter products, she calmed down and left. I realize I could have been a bit friendlier, but I’m not a mind reader, lady.
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Old 07-13-2021   #716
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Sounds Like It’d Be Easier To Just Wait It Out
FUNNY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, INSURANCE, USA, WISCONSIN | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 25, 2020
I help people sign up for Medicare insurance plans and answer questions, whether they’re related to medicare or not, to the best of my ability. This is a memorable call.

Customer #1 : “Can you get Medicare at age seventeen?”

Me: “It’s possible, if unusual. If—”

There is a second person apparently listening to the phone on speaker.

Customer #2 : “Don’t you need to be sixty-five?”

Me: “Everyone can get it at sixty-five, but people on Social Security Disability can get it earlier, as well as people with kidney failure.”

Customer #1 : “So, it can be done before age sixty-five?”

Me: “Seventeen is rare, but it’s possible. There are other conditions that can get it for you early, as well, like Lou Gehrig’s disease.”

Customer #2 : “But you don’t really get it before sixty-five—”

Customer #1 : “Nuh-uh, he said it’s possible. You lost the bet, so—”

They disconnected the call at that point. I’ve done many things in this job, but I’ve never settled a bet before today.
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Old 07-13-2021   #717
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Impossible Demands: Back To The Future Edition
AUSTRALIA, HOBART, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, TASMANIA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 23, 2020
Customer: “Has the doctor sent you my prescription yet?”

Me: “I’ll just have a look for you.”

I check both the physical file of hard copies and our digital copies saved on the computer.

Me: “Nope, sorry, it hasn’t arrived yet.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s right. The doctor moved my appointment to this afternoon so I haven’t seen him yet.”

Me: *Pause* “That’s probably why I can’t find it. See you this afternoon, then?”
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Old 07-13-2021   #718
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Brace Yourself!
ALABAMA, DENTIST, INSTANT KARMA, JERK, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 22, 2020
When I am a teen with braces, I have some problems with the brackets popping off fairly often — sometimes even when I’m not eating or doing anything with my teeth at the time. After yet another time of one of my brackets popping off for no reason, I am once again at the dentist getting it fixed.

The hygienist scolds me pretty strongly, even though I told her it popped off when I wasn’t eating anything.

Hygienist: “You need to be more careful! You’ll have to wear braces for even longer if you keep this up. You need to be much more careful about what you eat.”

Then, the dentist checks my teeth and tells me they are ahead of schedule and I might be able to have my braces off early.

When we are about to leave the dentist’s office, my mom has to use the restroom, so I wait for her by the front door. I haven’t even made it out of the dentist’s office, and I haven’t put anything in my mouth, and a bracket pops off.

As soon as my mom gets out of the restroom, we turn right around and walk back to the dentist’s reception desk… only to find that the dentist has just left for lunch. We have to make an appointment for later in the day.

But at least they stopped blaming me for the problem, and they started being more careful to attach the brackets thoroughly.
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Old 07-13-2021   #719
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You’re Getting Sleeeeepy… TOO Sleepy!
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 19, 2020
I used to volunteer with my township’s all-volunteer first aid squad. One day, we receive a call to respond to the house of a couple in their sixties.

Wife: “My husband isn’t acting right and I’m having trouble waking him up.”

Upon arriving at the house, my partner and I walk into the spare bedroom where the husband has been taking a nap. He is extremely lethargic and we have trouble even getting him to answer any questions. It looks just like an overdose. My partner starts providing care to the patient.

I turn to the wife.

Me: “Can you please show me the medications he’s taking?”

Among other things, he has been taking a sedative. I immediately pour them out on the kitchen table and count them. I look at the bottle and see that it is a new prescription. There are only one or two pills missing. I gather all the pill bottles into a bag and hand it to the wife.

Me: “Please bring this bag with you to the hospital.”

We transport the patient to the hospital. About fifteen minutes after that, something in my brain pops. I am familiar with the pills that the man is taking, as this isn’t the first time I’ve had to dump and count the pills in a bottle. Something about them was not right. The typical dosage is 0.25 mg or 0.5 mg. His pills seemed bigger than any others I had ever counted.

Never have I called a patient or family after transport, but today, I do. I call the wife.

Me: “[Wife], can you please pull the bottle of [sedative] out of the bag and read off the dosage size for me?”

It’s a full 2.0 mg!

Wife: “My husband’s regular doctor has been out of town, so he went to the covering physician, who gave him the prescription.”

Me: “What is his regular dosage?”

Wife: “It should have been 0.25 mg.”

Her husband received an overdose of eight times his usual dosage! I told her to report this information to the emergency room.

Yes, errors are made sometimes. But there are many checks and balances in medicine. One of the biggest ones is when a pharmacist reviews a medication and dosage for appropriateness. In this case, the doctor made a huge error in prescribing the wrong dosage. But the pharmacist should have caught it and clarified with the doctor before filling the prescription. Not doing so could have killed the husband.
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Old 07-13-2021   #720
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Paling In The Face Of Those Assumptions
FAST FOOD, FUNNY, HEALTH & BODY, JERK, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 16, 2020
I’m an opening manager at a fast food restaurant. I work four days a week on top of being a full-time nursing student. In terms of appearances, I am a redheaded female with British and Italian ancestry. This particular week, my seasonal allergies have been flaring up. These flare-ups are simply sneezing fits, and whenever they happen, I make sure that I am not around food and that my mouth is covered. (This is before the pandemic.) At around 10:00 am, my regional manager, who loves me to pieces, comes in.

Regional Manager: “[My Name], we got a corporate call about you.”

I’m a little worried, as our franchise takes these calls very seriously.

Me: *Cautiously* “What did I do?”

Regional Manager: “This lady says that when you were on the floor, away from food, you were pale, tired, sick, and sneezing, that you work too much, and how dare we not give you any days off.”

I choose to work four days a week. My company works with our availability and doesn’t schedule people when they aren’t available.

Me: “WHAT?!”

Regional Manager: *Laughing* “So I told your boss to call her back and tell her that you’re a redheaded student nurse who works four days a week, and you’re from Ireland, so of course, you’re pale, sick, and tired.”

Me: *Laughing* “[Boss], what did she say?”

I look to my general manager, who has been listening to our conversation.

Boss: “She didn’t pick up when I called. I have to call her again today. I hope she doesn’t answer.”

Cue another round of laughing. I love my bosses!
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