Have A Heart, Use Your Brain

He Gin-uinely Tried It
FRIENDS, HEALTH & BODY, HOME, NEW YORK, NEW YORK CITY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 27, 2019
(I am a student nurse, about a year from graduation. A friend of mine calls.)

Me: “Hello?”

Friend: “So, you’re a nurse, right?”

Me: “I already don’t like where this is going, and I’m a student nurse. Not–”

Friend: “Okay, well, I have some gravel deep in my hand. Can I just pour some gin on it and be fine?”

(Gin also happens to be his favorite alcohol.)

Me: “What?! Hang on; how did you get gravel in your hand and how deep is it?”

Friend: “I was on my bike and some a**hole opened their car door right in front of me and I went down pretty hard. And here, let me just take a picture.”

(He sends me a picture of his hand, showing that the gravel is dug in pretty deep and firmly stuck in so rinsing it with anything won’t get it out.)

Me: “You need to get tweezers and pull out the gravel, rinse it with water, put something like Neosporin on it, and cover it with a bandaid.”

Friend: “Well, I don’t have tweezers or any of that, really.”

Me: “You live in NYC. There’s definitely some kind of drug store or corner store you can get this stuff in.”

Friend: “I don’t want to spend money on things I already have at home, so can I just pour gin on it?”

Me: *sighs* “I cannot condone this at all but rinsing it with water is probably the best option.”

Friend: “So, gin is okay?”

Me: “If you’re intent on using alcohol, use straight vodka, instead, BUT I CANNOT CONDO–”

Friend: “Okay, thanks, bye!” *hangs up*

(He texts me a picture of his hand. He has used a prong of his watch to dig out the gravel, causing himself to bleed more and making the entire area fairly red. He texts me an hour or so later.)

Friend: “The barkeeper wouldn’t just give me some vodka, so I had to buy it and go into the bathroom to rinse it. Thanks again!”

Me: “This still was not your best option and I cannot condone this behavior.”

(He never replied.)

You Get Some Anxiety, You Get Some Anxiety, Everybody Gets Some Anxiety!
BAD BEHAVIOR, CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, THERAPIST, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 26, 2019
(I go to a therapist for anxiety. For complicated reasons, I’m afraid of asking for an OCD and social anxiety diagnosis, so my partner comes with me.)

Therapist: “Okay, you are aware that I am not a couples therapist?”

Me: *nods*

Therapist: “And that [Partner] is not covered under your insurance?”

Partner: “That’s not why I’m here.”

Therapist: “Okay, well, let me just explain what we’ve been doing here.”

(She says her job description, and then talks about my anxiety. To my horror, she starts spilling every secret I ever told her, including unfair, heat-of-the-moment venting about my partner, without explaining the part after, where I acknowledged my unfairness. I start having a silent panic attack. Eventually, she stops talking.)

Partner: *without any hint of annoyance or anything negative* “I’m just here to help [My Name] ask for a referral to a psychiatrist.”

Therapist: “Sure! I can do that right away for you!”

(We leave. I am too terrified to speak. When we enter the car, my partner sighs angrily.)

Partner: “B****!”

Me: *jumps*

Partner: “Sorry, not you. Don’t worry; I tuned her out once I realized where she was going.” *pauses* “When we get your psychiatrist, do we have to go back to her?”

Me: *shakes my head no*

Partner: “Good. I can’t believe she did that. Do you want a hug?”

(We did hug and talk about the anxiety. My partner also has anxiety, and I’ve been trying to convince her to see a therapist. This… did not help.)

Beyond the ICD code: How to better interact with patients with disabilities
Mary Alice Keller, M.A., CCC-SLP
Oct 15, 2020 at 1:39 PM
Updated on Oct 15, 2020 at 6:39 AM
Interaction Patient Disability
Disabilities
The Centers for Disease Control defines disability as “any condition of the body or mind (impairment) that makes it more difficult for the person with the condition to do certain activities (activity limitation) and interact with the world around them (participation restrictions).”[1] This may seem pretty straightforward on paper, but the day to day experience of living with a disability can be more complex than it appears. Because disabilities, especially those that are chronic or severe such as some developmental disabilities, can impact a patient’s life in many ways, doctors must consider how to support and interact with these patients best while engaging with them during clinical care.

While healthcare providers are often extremely skilled at diagnosing and treating individuals with a variety of diagnoses, because of the unique lived experiences with disabilities, additional consideration of the best ways to interact with people with disabilities is a key part of patient care. Providers should consider a wide variety of interaction techniques, including using appropriate language to refer to a disability, treating the aids of the person (e.g., wheelchair, support person, service dog) with respect, providing the most effective patient education, and considering a wide variety of patient referrals.

Language Use
When interacting with patients with disabilities, it is important to be aware of both person-first language and identity-first language. Person-first language aims to put a person ahead of their disability by using language like “a person who has diabetes.” Identity-first language places the disability first by referring to someone as “a diabetic.” Many healthcare providers have been taught to use person-first language exclusively. It is important to know how to use person-first language as it often conveys respect to a person with a disability. However, not all people with disabilities prefer person-first language. Some choose to use identity-first language[2]. For example, many people in the autism community consider themselves “autistic” instead of “a person with autism.” If this is new to you, it can be confusing, but as a healthcare provider, it is key that you get the wording right as a sign of respect and to establish a better rapport. An easy solution is simply asking patients or caregivers how they like to talk about their diagnosis/disability.

Also, consider the word “disability.” Many patients may have no issue with this word. However, for parents of young children who are processing a new developmental diagnosis for their child, or for adults with an acquired disability, hearing the word for the first time can be quite a shock. Some patients may still be processing their diagnosis and may not understand how it could impact them or their child. Others may totally understand the diagnosis but do not consider it to be a disability. It is generally unnecessary to avoid the word disability altogether, but consider how and when you are using it, especially with patients with a new diagnosis.

Now that we’ve addressed how to talk about disability explicitly, it is also important to consider the signals you implicitly send about a person’s disability. While it can feel natural to acknowledge difficulties related to a diagnosis or disability, which can be appropriate in some contexts, please be careful not to cast a person’s condition in an overwhelmingly negative light. For example, commenting that “it must be hard to be a teacher with a hearing loss” could be an attempt to acknowledge the difficulties that result from a disability. Still, it can also fail to recognize the many successes and coping strategies that people with disabilities incorporate into their daily lives. Strive to seek a balance between recognizing potential difficulties and acknowledging that people with disabilities lead full and whole lives.

Respecting Aids
Treat physical aids with respect: ask before touching a physical aid and say aloud what you are doing before you do it. For example, if you need to move a walker or cane, ask if it is okay before you do it. If someone uses a wheelchair and you need to move them, definitely ask or tell them before you slowly and respectfully do so. This is true even if you think the person is not able to understand. Communication devices, like alphabet boards or speech-generating devices, are also considered an aid. Because communication devices serve as a person’s voice, they should always be available to the individual and should not be taken away. Consider the aid to be a part of their person. If a patient has a service dog, be sure to ask the patient or their support person how they would like to use the service dog in their appointment [3].

Sometimes patients with disabilities have a support person with them. This could be a friend, a family member, or a personal aide. In some situations, it can feel natural to address the aide when speaking. However, it is important to remember that the person with the disability is the patient, and you should always include the patient in the conversation. This can be done by making eye contact with the patient and addressing them directly [4].

Patient Education
Ask how the patient would like to receive patient education. How an individual best receives information varies widely. It can take some extra time and effort, but it is important to think about how you are delivering information. For example, using a chart or image to teach a patient with a visual impairment could be ineffective and shows the patient you are not considering the realities of their diagnosis. Similarly, if a patient has a hearing loss and you deliver the information only verbally, with no written supports, patient compliance is likely to be reduced, and your patient will probably leave frustrated [5,6].

Ask the patient how they learn best and whether they have a specific learning style, benefit from visual or other supports, or require an interpreter (e.g., American Sign Language interpreter). Additionally, always consider the reading level of patient materials. As a general rule of thumb, it is good to aim for a third-grade reading level to help ensure that patients with various abilities and backgrounds can access your materials successfully.

While it is considerate to ask how a patient can most conveniently take in the information at hand, healthcare providers should also assume competence. This means that you should never assume that a patient is not capable of understanding you. Even patients with severe communication restrictions may be able to understand what you are communicating. Many people with disabilities are underestimated regularly, and this should not happen during a healthcare visit.

Although the above strategies can be especially relevant for patients with disabilities, taking extra care to ensure appropriate education delivery will benefit all patients, as well as the provider.

Referrals and Supports
The type of referrals you make will likely differ widely based on your specialty and expertise. However, across the board, it is helpful to consider the day to day experiences of your patients with disabilities to determine whether you are missing a referral that could positively impact their life.

For example, does your patient have a visual impairment? Consider how this affects their transportation and whether your institution offers any transportation supports. Does your patient have a lot of appointments that they must attend consistently? Consider whether the hospital has a complex care department that can better schedule their appointments conveniently. Would a social worker or counselor be beneficial to your patient? This can be especially helpful if the patient has a new diagnosis or struggles with social issues related to their disability. Taking a few minutes to make these types of referrals can go a long way in helping a patient and improving patient-provider rapport.

Summary
It can feel intimidating to consider the variety of ways in which patient care is best handled for people with disabilities. However, with a little time and effort, healthcare providers can make strides toward improving healthcare for people with disabilities. To summarize, below are some simple dos and don’ts for interacting with people with disabilities as a provider.

Dos and Don’ts
Do educate yourself about language. Should you use person-first or identity-first language to refer to a patient? If you aren’t sure, ask the patient!
Don’t be overly negative about a disability or its effects.
Do ask before you touch someone’s personal aids (e.g., wheelchair, walker).
Do address the patient, not just their support person.
Do take extra time to consider referrals that can support the patient outside of the appointment.
The most important takeaways are to treat people with disabilities with the full respect that all individuals deserve, and if you are unsure about something, always ask.

References
1. Disability and health overview. cdc.gov. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/disabilit...isability.html. Updated September 16, 2020. Accessed October 14, 2020.

2. Person-first vs. identity-first language. educationonline.ku.edu. https://educationonline.ku.edu/commu...rst%20language. Accessed October 14, 2020.

3. Disability etiquette. unitedspinal.org. https://www.unitedspinal.org/pdf/Dis...yEtiquette.pdf. Accessed October 14, 2020.

4. Communicating with people with disabilities. nln.org. http://www.nln.org/professional-deve...h-disabilities. Published January 28, 2017. Accessed October 14, 2020.

Steps to Apply to Medical School

Laura Turner
Nov 23, 2020 at 12:15 PM
Updated on Jan 5, 2021 at 6:16 AM
Apply to Medical School
The journey to medical school is long and requires a lot of hard work. Not all students are aware of all the elements that make up a successful medical school application. GPA (grade point average) and MCAT scores are important, but great scores alone won’t get you that coveted acceptance. Here’s a breakdown of what you need to do on the medical school application timeline.

Coursework
Most importantly, to apply to medical school you will need to complete all the required prerequisite coursework with the best possible grades. These prerequisites will be tested on the MCAT and are the necessary building blocks for medical school success. Each school has its own list of what they require students to complete before they apply. Below is a shortlist of the types of courses you will need to complete:

Lower- and upper-level basic sciences courses such as biology, physics, and chemistry, including both lectures and labs
Social sciences courses such as psychology and sociology
Math classes such as calculus and statistics
Classes to improve your writing and communication skills, such as English courses
Your science GPA is listed separately from your overall GPA on your medical school application. You must do your best to get the highest possible grades in your science coursework. You should plan your academic career schedule to make sure you can complete all required courses successfully.

MCAT
The Medical College Admissions Test (MCAT) is another key element of your medical school application. Most students on a traditional path take the MCAT during the spring of their junior year. You will want to devote a significant amount of time in your schedule to test preparation. Make sure your coursework schedule is structured to allow this. StudySchedule, a service from SDN, can create a customized schedule for your MCAT studying for you based on your areas of strengths and weaknesses and the amount of time you have available to study.

Activities
In addition to the “numbers” of good grades and MCAT scores, medical schools look for additional activities to show that you are a well-rounded person. Every year, students with near-perfect grades and MCAT scores are not accepted to medical school because they have neglected their personal development by not participating in activities other than schoolwork.

Volunteering
Service orientation is key for a physician. Medical schools look for sustained volunteering activity to show your commitment to community service. According to LizzyM, an admissions committee member of the SDN forums, the minimum amount of volunteer hours schools look for is 99, with over 1000 hours being an exceptional number. It is especially positive to show how you have grown with the organization you volunteer with; for example, starting as a basic volunteer and then growing to take on leadership roles within the organization.

Be sure to find a volunteer opportunity that you find personally rewarding. There are many opportunities available. It will show on your medical school application and in interviews if you chose your activity simply to “check the box” versus picking an activity that spoke to your heart.

Shadowing
Shadowing is spending time with a physician to watch what they do and what their job entails. It allows you to understand what life as a physician is really like. You will need a minimum of eight hours and preferably closer to 40-80 hours of shadowing to show that you have thoroughly researched your desired future career and understand its demands.

Clinical Experience
In addition to shadowing a physician or physicians, you will need to spend time in a clinical environment. Clinical experience gives you the “day in, day out” insight into life in the healthcare field and shows that you enjoy being in a clinical setting. Again according to the wise LizzyM, “anything where you can smell patients” qualifies as clinical experience. These experiences can either be unpaid (volunteer) or paid (link to paid clinical experiences article). You will need to accrue a minimum of 99 hours of clinical experience. Over 1000 hours is an amount that exceptional applicants reach.

Research
Though not required for all schools, showing scientific curiosity by participating in research is another activity to consider. At schools that produce many premeds, it can be challenging to secure research positions due to competition, so you may need to be flexible.

Medical School Application
Once you have your coursework, MCAT, and activities in hand, you need to start planning your application. Be aware that you will need to budget for significant costs associated with applying to medical school.

School List
First and foremost, you will need to decide which schools you will apply to. Your list should include a few “reach” or “dream” schools, a set of schools where your GPA and MCAT stats match well with their matriculants, and a few schools where your stats are above the mean of their matriculants. The Medical School Admission Requirements (MSAR) and the LizzyM Application Assistant can help you identify schools in your target zones.

The number of schools you apply to will depend on your circumstances. If you are from a state that produces a lot of medical school applicants compared to the number of schools available, such as California, you will need to apply more broadly than students who are from a state that strongly favors their own residents, such as Texas. Research your schools thoroughly to ensure that every application counts. Understand if your target school heavily favors or only admits in-state applicants or has a specific mission, such as a historically Black institution. For each school, ask yourself: “If this is my only acceptance, am I willing to pay the costs to go here to become a doctor?” Don’t include any schools on the list where the answer is “No.”

Primary Application
Once you have determined the schools you want to target, you will need to complete the appropriate primary application or applications. For most MD granting institutions, this will be the American Medical College Application Service (AMCAS). For DO granting institutions, the application is the American Association of Colleges of Osteopathic Medicine Application Service (AACOMAS). MD schools in Texas use the Texas Medical and Dental Schools Application Service (TMDSAS).

Each of these applications has sections for a personal statement, activities, and your coursework. Transcripts and letters of reference are also required. You may also need to complete the CASPer test.

You will complete these items one time per primary application and submit them (along with payment) to the schools you are applying to. It takes a few weeks for the applications to be processed. Some applications that do not meet minimum qualifications are rejected by schools outright after the primary application process.

Secondary Application
If the schools like what they see in your primary application, they will send you a request to complete a secondary application. These secondary applications include additional essay prompts that must be answered. You should be prepared to receive a bunch of these to complete at once. Luckily, most schools use the same prompts from year to year. You can check the SDN School-Specific forums to see what these prompts are. This lets you start preparing your responses before receiving your secondary applications. There is a fee of around $100 per secondary application you will be required to pay.

After receiving your secondary application, schools will choose to either reject your application outright, place it on a post review hold, or extend an interview invitation.

Interview
Generally (at least before COVID), these will be in-person interviews conducted at the medical school. They may be one-on-one interviews, group interviews with multiple interviewers, or multiple mini interviews where you rotate through different stations and respond to different questions or scenarios. You will also receive a tour of the school facilities.

Be aware that you are “on camera” throughout your interview day, starting from the moment you step or drive onto the campus until you leave. If the medical school is in a small town, you should consider all your time there “on camera” as well. You will need to have professional attire (a suit) for these interviews.

After the interview process, the admissions committee will place your application into one of a few statuses (depending on the institution): acceptance, waitlist, post-interview hold, or post-interview rejection.

Decisions
Hopefully, all your hard work and preparation will result in at least one of those coveted acceptances. A large number of students receive only a single acceptance. If you are in that category, congratulations on your acceptance – you will be a doctor! If you are lucky enough to hold multiple acceptances, you will need to figure out which one you will accept. Ideally, you will be able to make your decision quickly to help out your peers sitting on waitlists.

Premed Planner
As you can see, there are a lot of steps in the road to becoming a physician. To help students with this process, Health Professional Student Association (the parent organization for Student Doctor Network) has created a phone app to help you track your progress as you prepare to apply to medical school. Premed Planner is a free application that breaks down what you need to do every step along the way. It is available for both iOS and Android devices.

Probably Something Like “Funny Meme Go Brrr”
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, ILLINOIS, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 8, 2021
I’m at my yearly wellness visit. I’ve been having an eczema flare that is showing up on my eyelids. It has never shown up there before, so I figure I’ll ask my doctor what I can use on it. However, he’s decided that something on his laptop is more important than my appointment.

Doctor: *Staring at his laptop* “So, no concerns today?”

Me: “Uh, no. I do have one.”

Doctor: “Uh-huh.”

Me: “I think my main concern today is my eczema.”

Doctor: *Typing something* “Uh-huh.”

Me: “It’s showing up on my eyelids. It’s never done that before. Is that normal?”

Doctor: *Still typing* “Put some steroid cream on it.”

Me: “On my eyelids?!”

No response.

Me: “Are you listening to me?”

Doctor: *Looks up* “Did you say something?”

I sigh loudly.

Me: “I have eczema on my eyelids. It’s very itchy. What facial moisturizer do you recommend?”

Doctor: “You can use steroid cream on your eyelids.”

Me: “But the tube says not to.”

Doctor: *Starts typing again* “Steroid cream. It’ll clear it right up. Now, if we’re done here…”

I do not put steroid cream on my eyelids. I make an appointment with my eye doctor and tell him the issue.

Me: “…and I did bring it up to my primary care doctor, but all he said was to put steroid cream on it. It’s on my eyelids!”

My eye doctor literally drops his pen and notepad and stares at me.

Eye Doctor: “You didn’t actually put steroid cream on your eyelids, did you?!”

Me: “Of course not. The tube says not to.”

Eye Doctor: “Good. The eyelid skin is much too thin for that. I recommend an unscented facial moisturizer or hydrating eye cream. [Brand] is good for sensitive skin. Geez, what was your doctor thinking?!”

Me: “I have no idea.”

I have a new primary care doctor now.

Wrap This Person In Bubble Wrap! Part 2
BIZARRE, HEALTH & BODY, HOME, NORTHERN IRELAND, UK | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 6, 2021
CONTENT WARNING: Major Injury



All through my life, I have been accidentally injuring myself in spectacular ways. The fact that I have balance and coordination problems as a result of ASD and Dyspraxia doesn’t help. At school, the teachers knew me as “the girl who’s always getting hurt.” I have so many stories about me getting injured that it would be impossible to share them all here, but here’s one of the worse ones.

This was about two years ago when I was nineteen years old, on the night of my sister’s sixteenth birthday. My sister and I don’t get on, so my mother and I agreed that I could spend the evening in my room. I was happy enough, as I don’t really cope well with lots of people around, and anyway, none of my sister’s friends liked me.

I was sitting in my room playing a game on my computer, and I got up to use the bathroom. As I slid out from between my desk and my chair, my foot must have gotten caught in a cable, because I tripped. I fell and smacked face-first into a set of bookshelves, smashing my glasses. My hands, forearms, and knees hit the wooden floor with full force. My mother, hearing the loud crash, came rushing in to find me sprawled on the floor, blood pouring from my nose, unable to use my arms to push myself upright. She did her best to stop the bleeding from my nose and then decided that it would be prudent to take me to the hospital.

A couple of x-rays later and the extent of my injuries was shocking. I’d broken my nose in three places; the pain was so bad that I felt sick. I’d broken my left radius and ulna in six places and shattered my left thumb. I’d broken my right wrist in two places and three fingers on my right hand. After an overnight stay in hospital, I went for surgery the following morning and was kept in again overnight.

My mother came to pick me up from the hospital and, according to her, I “looked a real sight.” I had two black eyes and bruising on my cheeks, and my nose was in a cast. My left arm was casted from my fingers up past my elbow, and I had a cast on my thumb. My right arm had a cast covering my three broken fingers and running along my arm until just before my elbow. My knees were bruised, and although not broken, it was painful to bend them.

As I walked out of the hospital with my two arms in slings, it occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to do much for myself for the next few weeks. Plus, I’ve been deaf and non-speaking since birth and I use sign language, so I knew I’d have to get by with nodding and shaking my head. I hated needing my mother to feed me, wash me, and dress me, but what could I do? I told myself that at least I could still walk…

And then two weeks later, I fell down the stairs, broke my leg, and ended up confined to bed anyway!

Wrap This Person In Bubble Wrap!
AUSTRALIA, BIZARRE, FAST FOOD, HEALTH & BODY | HEALTHY | JANUARY 21, 2021
CONTENT WARNING: Major Injury



I am accident-prone. I mean, REALLY accident-prone. I have broken most of the bones in my body at least once — some, in the case of my nose and fingers, multiple times. I have screws and plates all through my body. There’s nothing wrong with my bones, either, if you need further proof of what a disaster magnet I am.

In the highlights of my list of “big injuries”:

I was hit by a drunk driver and dragged two blocks when I was eight years old. It took me months to learn how to walk again. I fell down a set of stairs in high school and broke both my legs. I was ADJACENT to a car crash as a pedestrian and had all my ribs broken by a flying tyre. I was attacked by a pack of dogs when I was a toddler that somehow got past two locked six-foot gates. I was the only one injured when my first workplace burned down, despite being one of the first out the door. I was standing in the evacuation area with thirteen other people when the gas canister exploded, and guess who was the only person hit with glass and shrapnel? Me.

I am not exaggerating the disaster magnet thing. My husband is well versed in emergency rooms and surgery waiting areas.

I start working at a fast food place. My husband waits for the inevitable call that I have been horrifically burned by the fryer or somehow run over in the drive-thru.

One night, I’m working overnight. My husband is peacefully sleeping when he gets a call from my manager. He groggily answers the phone.

Husband: “Hello?”

Manager: “Hey, man. Um, [My Name] has just left here in an ambulance. She asked me to ask you to meet her at the hospital and bring her emergency bag?”

My husband gets out of bed and starts to grab my always packed emergency bag.

Husband: “Yep, on it, mate. Hey, what happened?”

Manager: “She, uh… She broke her hip.”

Husband: *Pause* “I gotta say, out of everything I expected, that wasn’t it.”

Yep. I had slipped on a puddle of grease and slid the exact wrong way with my leg twisted. It had dislocated, and then I landed on it full force and rolled. After surgery and rehab, I was okay, but my husband LOVES to tell people I broke my hip flipping burgers.

By The Pricking Of My Thumbs, Something Hilarious This Way Comes
ENGLAND, FUNNY, HOSPITAL, LONDON, RUDE & RISQUE, UK, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 4, 2021
Back in the 1960s, when I am a young man of seventeen going on eighteen, I work in the medical laboratory of the local teaching hospital. One of my regular jobs is to go round the wards collecting blood samples for pre-op testing.

I am in the day-room of the gynaecological ward collecting blood from twenty to thirty ladies. One of the younger ones is very obviously extremely nervous. One of the older ladies speaks up.

Older Lady: “Don’t worry about him, love; it’s only a little prick.”

I blushed the colour of a beetroot and suddenly everyone, except me, was much more relaxed.

A Stroke Of Brilliance
DATE, ENGLAND, HOSPITAL, LONDON, STUPID, UK | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 2, 2021
After a transient event, I end up being investigated for stroke. I receive a letter from the neurology department about my next appointment.

Letter: “Unfortunately, we have had to change your outpatient clinic appointment. It was previously scheduled for 16 May at 15:00. We are very sorry we had to do this. Your new appointment is: Date: 16 May, Time: 15:00.”

And they are investigating ME for a stroke?

Seriously, it’s a good thing I hadn’t had one. I don’t know how someone struggling with a cognitive deficit might deal with this.

You’d Butter Forget Those Old Wives’ Tales
ADVICE, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, FRIENDS, HOME, ILLINOIS, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 31, 2021
One Christmas Eve, when I was eleven, I decided to make myself some tea. I put a pan of water on the stove and tried to turn on the burner on our gas stove. The burner wasn’t igniting and so I moved the pan and bent over to check if the pilot went out. Just as I bent over, the burner flared to life and caught my hair and my ear on fire.

I panicked and ran screaming into our front room where my mom was visiting with a friend. My mom stood up and literally smacked the fire out with her hand.

Mom’s Friend: “Put butter on it!”

My mom ignored her and got a wet, cool washcloth for me to put on it.

Mom’s Friend: “[Mom], you should put butter on it.”

After about a minute, my mom took a look at my ear and made the decision to take me to the hospital.

Mom’s Friend: “She doesn’t need a hospital, just butter.”

No butter was used and we went to the hospital. I was seen fairly quickly and it turned out that I had second- and third-degree burns on my ear. Normally, they would want to admit someone with the burns I had, just to be safe, but since it was a holiday and I was a kid, they let me go home with some special burn cream and painkillers.

Before we left, my mom mentioned to the doctor how her friend kept telling her to put butter on the burn. He was aghast. He wrote a note on the paper they used for sick notes for my mom’s friend detailing why not to put butter on a burn. I was kind of out of it when I got home, so I don’t know if my mom ever gave her friend that note, but I don’t remember her ever saying to put butter on a burn again.

Third Nurse Is The Charm!
IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, ILLINOIS, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 30, 2021
This story is pre-health crisis. One morning, I wake up with a sore throat. I assume I have the beginning of a cold and go on with my day. However, the sore throat does not go away. It gets worse over a twenty-four-hour period to the point where I can hardly swallow, and I develop a fever. I call my doctor’s office because in the past, this has indicated strep, and I make sure to tell the receptionist this. They tell me to come in right away.

I do so, and they take me into an exam room. I’m met by a nurse I’ve never seen before. This is normal, as there’s a nursing college nearby, and my doctor gets a lot of their recent grads.

Nurse #1 : “Okay, we’re gonna do some bloodwork to check you for mono.”

Me: “Mono?”

Nurse #1 : “You have all the symptoms.”

Me: “I have a history of strep. Isn’t [Doctor] gonna check my throat?”

Nurse #1 : “We’re checking for mono.”

The nurse preps me for bloodwork. I am used to needles, as I have a chronic illness that requires frequent labs. However, this is a disaster. She attempts to stick me and misses the vein. Then, she starts digging around UNDER THE SKIN with the needle to attempt to hit the vein. I whimper.

Nurse #1 : “Not used to bloodwork?”

Me: “Oh, I get plenty of bloodwork. Check my chart. I’m not used to someone digging under my skin with a needle. Ow! Can you stop?! I don’t think you’re gonna find the vein that way!”

She finally pulls it out and bandages it up.

Nurse #1 : “I guess that vein wasn’t big enough! Let me get [Nurse #2 ].”

[Nurse #2 ], whom I’ve also never seen before, walks in, and with no warning, attempts to stick me in the same arm. She also misses the vein. She pulls the needle out of my arm and jabs me again in the same spot, harder. I shriek.

Me: “Ouch! Seriously?!”

Nurse #2 : “Have you ever had blood drawn before, sweetie?”

I shoot her a look.

Me: “I have [chronic illness], so I have labs twice a year. Did any of you look at my chart?”

Nurse #2 : “Oh. Your veins are very stubborn. Have they had trouble getting blood from you before?”

Me: “No. Never. Is there someone else that can help me?”

They get a third nurse, who has done my labs several times.

Nurse #3 : “Oh, hey, [My Name]. How’s it going?”

Me: “Bad.”

Nurse #2 : “Her veins are stubborn. What should we do?”

[Nurse #3 ] examines my arm and rolls her eyes.

Nurse #3 : “You stuck her three times in one arm?! The answer is obvious. Use her other arm, and don’t stab her, either! I heard her scream down the hall!”

She leaves, grumbling under her breath. Thankfully, they take her advice. [Nurse #1 ] and [Nurse #2 ] then decide to test me for the flu which, as many of us know, is a very long swab up the nose. And they JAM it up my nose. So, now my nose, arm, and throat are throbbing.

Me: “Hey, um, is [Doctor] gonna look at my throat at all?”

Nurse #1 : “He wants to start with this. Test results should be in tomorrow. You can go home now.”

I go home. The next day, I feel worse. The doctor’s office calls and says that both tests were negative.

Me: “Okay, but I’m still sick. Can I come back for a strep test?”

Nurse #2 : “[Doctor] says that if you’re still sick after ten days, call us. Then he’ll talk about an antibiotic.”

Me: “But I can barely swallow.”

Nurse #2 : “He said ten days.”

I live off soft foods, warm liquids, cough drops, and Aleve until day six when I can’t take it anymore. I can swallow a bit more, but I still have a high fever and my throat still hurts. I’ve also developed joint pain. I call the doctor back in tears. I finally get [Nurse #3 ], who apologizes and says she will speak with the doctor. She calls back a couple of hours later.

Nurse #3 : “Okay, [My Name], [Doctor] has recommended an antibiotic. I called it in and put a rush on it. I know you’re feeling pretty miserable and you’ve been waiting a long time. I’m so sorry about that. I’m not sure why they made you wait.”

Me: “Thank you!”

I felt A LOT better within a couple of days of starting the antibiotic.

His Frustration Level Is Rising…
EDITORS' CHOICE, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PHARMACY, USA, UTAH | HEALTHY | JANUARY 29, 2021
It’s a couple of days before New Year’s, and our pharmacy has a ton of requests to doctors from everyone trying to get their prescriptions refilled before the new year starts. My coworker is telling us about a phone call she’s just had with a patient.

Coworker #1 : “Oh, man, he was mad. He wanted a refill and the prescription is expired. We’ve already sent three or four requests to the doctor, but they haven’t responded yet. I don’t know what else he wanted me to do! I can’t make your doctor refill your [medication for erectile dysfunction]!”

Coworker #2 : “I guess his year isn’t going out with a bang!”

Nope, Still Terrifying
BIZARRE, DENTIST, MARYLAND, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 28, 2021
My wife has had some persistent issues with gum infections ever since having an extremely severe jaw injury. It was probably about as bad as a jaw could be injured. Despite this, she had relatively minor scarring, and many people do not immediately realize that she has major injuries just when looking at her.

The two of us go to the dentist together, each with our own appointments. I just have a basic cleaning, but my wife will be having a root canal done. The dentist, who we have been going to for years now, has a new assistant. She finishes with me fairly quickly, just in time to witness the dentist go straight from talking to drilling into my wife’s tooth, without the use of any anesthetic whatsoever.

She is immediately horrified. I think the dentist decides to mess with her a bit, as he just tells her:

Dentist: “[Wife] is pretty tough. She can handle it.”

My wife responded with a thumbs-up.

The dentist initially just went back to work, but relented after a few seconds and let the assistant know that my wife actually had no use for local anesthetic for this because she’s actually already completely numb. The root canal was in her lower jaw. The jaw has a nerve running through the bone on each side, and her injury had completely destroyed these nerves, leaving a complete lack of any sensation from her lower jaw including gums, lower lip, and part of her cheeks and chin.

The Uterus Knows All
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA, UTAH | HEALTHY | JANUARY 27, 2021
When I was pregnant with my first child, I 100% knew that it was a girl, and she was, but had no idea with my second baby, who happened to be a boy. When I got pregnant with my third child, I was once again sure that it was a girl. We are living in a different city so this is my first experience with this particular doctor.

We go in to check for the baby’s sex.

Doctor: “Are we hoping for a girl or for a boy?”

Me: “I know this baby is a girl.”

Doctor: “Congratulations! It’s a boy!”

Me: “Nope.”

Doctor: “Um, what?”

Me: “I know that this is a girl.”

Doctor: “Noooo… it’s a boy. You can see why right here.”

Me: “No. It’s for sure a girl.”

The doctor has clearly never been in this situation before.

Doctor: “Um, well, I guess that could be the umbilical cord but I’m 97% sure that it isn’t.”

Me: “I’m sorry to challenge you, but I seriously know that this baby is a girl.”

Doctor: *Grumbling* “I guess we can wait a few weeks and do another ultrasound. But it will be a waste of time, for you and me.”

Me: “Let’s do that.”

Two weeks later, we went back and did another ultrasound. It was a girl. We didn’t use him for delivery. I couldn’t use a doctor who wouldn’t at least entertain the possibility that I was right.

Everyone Has Two Voice Settings: “Normal” And “Customer Service”
MEDICAL OFFICE, PENNSYLVANIA, PITTSBURGH, RECEPTION, SIBLINGS, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 25, 2021
When I need to find a new primary care physician, my sister, who’s a medical assistant, strongly recommends one of the doctors she works for. I accept — and she turns out to be the greatest PCP I’ve ever had, but I digress.

I don’t know if this is the law or their office’s policy, but my sister explains to me from the beginning that she’s not allowed to have anything to do with my treatment; she can’t look at my chart, she can’t room me when I come in, she can’t talk to me on the phone, etc.

Okay, rules are rules. I almost never have to call the office anyway — you call the network’s central line to make appointments, not the office directly — but I figure if she ever answers, I’ll simply say, “It’s [My Name],” and wait for her to put someone else on the line.

There comes a day where I call the office with some questions for my doctor about a course of treatment I recently began. A female voice I don’t recognize at all answers.

Assistant: “Thank you for calling [Office]. We’re on a recorded line. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. I saw [Doctor] earlier this week and just had some questions for her about [treatment].”

Assistant: “[My Name], it’s [Sister].”

Me: *Stunned* “Oh! I’m sorry, I—”

Assistant: “Here, let me get [Coworker].”

Another employee took care of me. For the record, the health issue was neither embarrassing nor something I hadn’t already told my sister about in typical family conversation.

When we hung up, I texted my sister, “I’m so sorry! I know you can’t help me, and had I known, I would’ve waited for you to get someone else, but I swear, I had no idea that was you! Your voice sounded so much deeper and more mature.”

When she was free, she simply texted back, “Customer service voice.”

And now I know what voice to listen for!

Inject A Little Patience For Your Patients
FLORIDA, INSTANT KARMA, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 24, 2021
I have an injectable maintenance medication which is administered every three months. Once I began nursing school and was signed off on injection administration, my doctor said it was stupid to have me come into the office to get this medication administered since I routinely did it for others as part of my clinicals. I was ordered to call in with the date, location given, and lot/expiration date. For three years, I did not have any issues doing this. That is, until the doctor hired a new nurse.

I call in.

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name], born [Date Of Birth]. I’m calling in with the information on my injection.”

Nurse: “What do you mean, ‘calling in with the information’?”

Me: “Oh, the doc allows me to self-administer at home and call the information in.”

The nurse goes BALLISTIC.

Nurse: “What the h*** do you mean self-administer?! You aren’t allowed to do that! You must come in to have a nurse give that! I’m going to report you to the doctor and he’s going to fire you as a patient.”

Me: “I’m a nurse. I literally work in the building next door to your office. [Doctor] thinks it’s stupid for me to come in for this. It wastes my time and your office’s time.”

Nurse: “Don’t you lie to me, girlie!”

She continued screaming at me.

At this, I’d had enough and told her I was hanging up. I went to work early the next day to go speak to the nurse manager for that office. I was informed that it wasn’t an issue any longer as the doctor had heard her screaming at me. He waited and then informed her that I was indeed a fellow nurse and he didn’t allow his nurses to treat patients or fellow colleagues like that.

A nurse I work with told me about watching security unceremoniously removing a nurse from the building next door the previous day.

It’s not often that instant Karma occurs, but when it does, it’s glorious.

Good Thing Bad Parenting Isn’t Contagious
HEALTH & BODY, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, SCHOOL, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 23, 2021
I work for a school for students with special needs. Most of the parents are great, but some are idiots.

I am working in a first-grade classroom. One of the teachers takes one of the kids to the bathroom while I am helping the other teacher hand out breakfast. We suddenly hear a small scream, and the teacher comes out, holding the kid under the armpits.

Teacher: “He’s got ringworm! Get him to the nurse, quick!”

I grab the kid and take him to the nurse’s office, which is a closed-off area of the main admin office. The nurse is just about to go on her medication rounds but quickly checks the student, confirming it is ringworm, and goes to call his mother. It’s a small office so I hear the whole conversation while I keep the kid entertained.

Nurse: “Hello, [Mother], we just discovered that your son has ringworm. Could you please come get him?”

Mother: “Yes, I know. I saw it this morning.”

Nurse: “Excuse me?!”

Mother: “I put a bandaid on it. Didn’t you see?”

Nurse: “Ma’am, you cannot cure ringworm with a bandaid. You need to pick up your son and bring him home. He cannot return to school until a doctor confirms that the ringworm is gone.”

Mother: “I’m at work.”

Nurse: “You still need to come pick him up and take him home. How soon can you be here?”

Mother: “I’m at work; I can’t get him. He has to stay there for today.”

Nurse: “No, you need to pick him up. He has a contagious fungal infection and cannot stay here!”

Mother: “I’m at work.” *Hangs up*

The nurse turns back to me in shock.

Nurse: “Can you believe this?!”

Me: “Yes, but good news: she doesn’t work. She brings [Student] a hot lunch every day, so she’ll be here in a few hours.”

The nurse just looks at me, incredulous, but then goes out to the secretary and talks to her before coming back in and filling me in on the plan. She then leaves for her rounds, leaving me to watch the student and keep him isolated.

After two hours, when it’s almost time for our class’s lunchtime, the student’s mother drives up. The nurse has just returned, and she and the secretary leap into action.

The secretary lets the mother in but then stands by the door to the outside. The nurse comes out of her office, leading the student. I stand by the door leading into the school, blocking anyone from getting in.

The nurse marches up to the mother, who is dressed in a T-shirt, yoga pants, and flip-flops — definitely NOT a working uniform — and holds the student out to her.

Nurse: “Your son has a fungal infection that is contagious via skin contact and he cannot return here until you have a doctor’s note stating that the infection is one-hundred percent cleared up. It will be at least a week. Make sure your doctor includes a phone number because I will be calling to check and be sure [Student] was cleared. You may go now.”

The mother silently took her son and exited via the door the secretary was holding open for her. The student did return fully healed, but she never tried to pull that trick again!

Order Matters Word!
FUNNY, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | JANUARY 22, 2021
Our electronic medical records program has a screen where we fill in details regarding prescriptions and it puts together the sig from that information. Sometimes the providers don’t pay attention to the output. Here’s an actual prescription I caught that had been sent several times before I did:

Prescription: “Take one tablet to make it easier to urinate orally, once a day.”

I’m sure the pharmacists got a laugh every few months when that came through!

Taking “Sharing Is Caring” To Another Level
AWESOME, CHILDREN, HOSPITAL, INSPIRATIONAL, MARYLAND, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 21, 2021
About a decade ago, I decided to donate my kidney as a non-directed donor, meaning I didn’t know the person who would get the kidney; the hospital picked him. Knowing that I volunteered with children and had a real soft spot for them, the hospital recommended a twenty-two-month-old child as the person to receive the kidney.

The surgery went fine and I got to meet the child for the first time a month after the surgery. I thought this would be the only time I would meet the child.

A number of years later, I get a surprise call from the pediatric department of the hospital where I donated. They are doing a reunion party where they get together kidney donors and kidney recipients, and they want to know if I would like to attend. Excited at the chance to meet the child again, I agree to attend.

When they finally arrive at the party, while their mother is busy signing in, the boy and his twin brother wander into the party and apparently recognize me. The one that I actually donated the kidney to is a bit shy at first about meeting me, not so much his brother.

Twin Brother: “Are you the one that gave my brother the kidney?”

Me: “Yes, I was.”

Without saying anything else, he runs up to me and gives me a gigantic hug.

Twin Brother: “Thank you!”

His brother seems a bit unsure how he is supposed to interact with his kidney donor at first, but I have enough experience with kids that I am able to get him to open up soon enough. Eventually, the brothers are excitedly dragging me around to face painting and all the other activities they have for the party.

Boy: “Where did you get the extra kidney from?”

Me: “Everyone is born with two kidneys, but we only really need one, so they took my left kidney out of me and put it in you, and I keep using my right kidney.”

Boy: “How did they get it out?”

Me: “They cut a hole in my belly button and then stuck a machine in through it which they used to cut my kidney out and pull it out through my belly button. Then they did the same thing to you to put the kidney into you.”

Brother: “Did it hurt?”

Me: “They put me asleep when they cut the kidney out, so I didn’t feel anything then. It did hurt a few days after, but it got much better after the third day. It was worth it to help.”

Kid: “Oh.”

The kid stands there, clearly thinking about that for a few more seconds.

Kid: “Thank you.”

By the end of the party, both twins were asking if I could come visit them again. Since I love kids anyway, I told them I’d be willing to, but I didn’t want to impose, so I told them I could only if their mother wanted to invite me. I heard the kids tell their mother that they wanted me to visit, but I never did get an invite to visit them from her. It’s been many years since then, but I hope, wherever they are, both kids are still as happy and healthy as they were the last time we met.

Wrap This Person In Bubble Wrap!
AUSTRALIA, BIZARRE, FAST FOOD, HEALTH & BODY | HEALTHY | JANUARY 21, 2021
CONTENT WARNING: Major Injury



I am accident-prone. I mean, REALLY accident-prone. I have broken most of the bones in my body at least once — some, in the case of my nose and fingers, multiple times. I have screws and plates all through my body. There’s nothing wrong with my bones, either, if you need further proof of what a disaster magnet I am.

In the highlights of my list of “big injuries”:

I was hit by a drunk driver and dragged two blocks when I was eight years old. It took me months to learn how to walk again. I fell down a set of stairs in high school and broke both my legs. I was ADJACENT to a car crash as a pedestrian and had all my ribs broken by a flying tyre. I was attacked by a pack of dogs when I was a toddler that somehow got past two locked six-foot gates. I was the only one injured when my first workplace burned down, despite being one of the first out the door. I was standing in the evacuation area with thirteen other people when the gas canister exploded, and guess who was the only person hit with glass and shrapnel? Me.

I am not exaggerating the disaster magnet thing. My husband is well versed in emergency rooms and surgery waiting areas.

I start working at a fast food place. My husband waits for the inevitable call that I have been horrifically burned by the fryer or somehow run over in the drive-thru.

One night, I’m working overnight. My husband is peacefully sleeping when he gets a call from my manager. He groggily answers the phone.

Husband: “Hello?”

Manager: “Hey, man. Um, [My Name] has just left here in an ambulance. She asked me to ask you to meet her at the hospital and bring her emergency bag?”

My husband gets out of bed and starts to grab my always packed emergency bag.

Husband: “Yep, on it, mate. Hey, what happened?”

Manager: “She, uh… She broke her hip.”

Husband: *Pause* “I gotta say, out of everything I expected, that wasn’t it.”

Yep. I had slipped on a puddle of grease and slid the exact wrong way with my leg twisted. It had dislocated, and then I landed on it full force and rolled. After surgery and rehab, I was okay, but my husband LOVES to tell people I broke my hip flipping burgers.