Food for the body and soul

If I Buy You A Ticket, Can You Follow My Train Of Thought?
Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | April 17, 2022
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.



I had my gallbladder out in my early twenties. There was a complication, but the surgeon resolved it during surgery. I understand that this is very unusual for my age group, but this interaction with a new doctor amazed even me.

Doctor: “So, you’ve noted that you’ve had gallbladder surgery and pancreatitis. When did those happen?”

Me: “[Year].”

Doctor: “Both of them?”

Me: “Yes, the pancreatitis was found and resolved during the gallbladder surgery.”

Doctor: “Any complications from the gallbladder?”

Me: “Uh, the pancreatitis.”

Doctor: “Hmm. Any complications from the pancreatitis?”

Me: “It was the complication.”

Doctor: “Huh?”

Me: “A stone went into my pancreas, and my surgeon had to pop it out.”

Doctor: “Ah. When was that discovered?”

Me: “When I was on the operating table?”

Doctor: “Any complications?”

Me: “Seriously?!”

Doctor: “We need to know.”

Me: *Sigh* “Let’s try this again. They found the pancreatitis while I was on the operating table for the gallbladder. A stone had gone into my pancreas. My surgeon popped it out. Complication fixed. The end.”

Doctor: “Any lingering issues?”

Me: “No.”

Doctor: “Okay, I got it now.”

Me: “That took much longer than it needed to.”

I did not go back to that doctor.

He Needs An Injection Of Brain Cells
Current Events, Friends, Health & Body, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Stupid, USA | Healthy | April 14, 2022
My friend is a bit of a moron. He’s not a bad person, and he’s not an anti-vaxxer, but he legitimately didn’t seem to think that getting vaccinated was important until all his coworkers started getting sick with the latest variant of a particular contagious illness.

As soon as the third coworker where he works caught [illness], [Coworker] scheduled an appointment to get vaccinated, but he could only find one three and a half weeks out.

Sadly, he tested positive himself four days before the appointment. This absolute moron of a man decided to go and get vaccinated while currently sick with the illness, despite my efforts to convince him to wait, because, and I quote:

Friend: “I ain’t waiting another three and a half weeks. I’m ready to do it now, and I’m gonna get ‘er done.”

He was in the emergency room the next day; the vaccine had made his symptoms worse. He spent two weeks in the hospital.

About two weeks after that, he tested negative for the illness. He’d been testing every two or three days. He told me:

Friend: “Oh, good thing. I got my second dose of the vaccine yesterday.”

Putting Your Flat Foot In Your Mouth
Doctor/Physician, Instant Karma, Jerk, Medical Office, Nurses, USA | Healthy | April 11, 2022
I’ve been having heel and arch pain for a couple of months. A relative suggests that I may have plantar fasciitis, as she has it and my symptoms are identical. She recommends a particular shoe brand that her podiatrist suggested a few years ago.

This brand has a variety of cute shoes with a built-in insole that’s famous for helping plantar fasciitis patients. I buy a couple of pairs, and they are very helpful.

I get into a podiatrist and am wearing a pair of flip-flops by this brand. I’m also the youngest patient in the waiting room by about thirty years. The nurse calls my name, does a double-take when I stand up, and points me to a room.

Nurse: “So, why are you here?”

I am surprised by her tone, but I describe the pain I’ve been having and explain that I suspect plantar fasciitis after chatting with a relative who has it, so I am here to see if it’s that or something else. The nurse eyes my shoes.

Nurse: “The arches on those shoes are very high, and you have flat feet. That’s causing your pain.”

I think that maybe she can’t tell what they are, as they do look like normal flip-flops, just with a better arch.

Me: “Oh, sorry, they are actually [Brand].”

I slide them off and show her the brand name on the sole.

Nurse: “You can’t wear shoes like that with flat feet. Stop wearing them.”

Me: “They’re helping the pain. Are [Brand] shoes not recommended for foot problems anymore?”

Nurse: “But the arches are too high. They can’t be helping.”

I’m annoyed and let my tone show it.

Me: “That’s the point! They have extra support to help stabilize the arch and heel. Therefore, I have less pain when I walk.”

Nurse: “Your only problem is flat feet, but whatever. The doctor will be in soon. She’ll tell you.”

She rolls her eyes and walks out. The doctor comes in soon after. After a few minutes of chat, she starts checking my feet. I flinch as she pushes on my left arch.

Me: “I felt that!”

Doctor: “Yep, plantar fasciitis. Your paperwork said the right foot is worse, right?”

Me: “Yep.”

Doctor: “Okay. Hold on to something. I’ll be as gentle as I can.”

She lightly pushes on my problem arch, causing pain to shoot all throughout the foot. I yelp.

Doctor: “Plantar fasciitis confirmed in both feet.”

She writes something on my chart, and then she looks at my shoes on the floor.

Doctor: “Hey, those are [Brand]!”

I nod.

Doctor: “Fantastic. They’re top of the line for plantar fasciitis, so keep wearing those. I always recommend them.”

She talks to me about other shoe brands I should try and some stretches I need to do daily. She asks if I have any questions.

Me: “Um, yes. I don’t necessarily want to get anyone in trouble, but…”

I briefly recap the conversation with the nurse. The doctor sighs and shakes her head.

Doctor: “I’m sorry about that. I’ll take care of it.”

She gives me some additional instructions and exits. Another nurse comes in to check me out, and she is much friendlier. I go back for a follow-up several weeks later, and guess which nurse calls me back again? She makes a face and mutters something under her breath as I walk in.

Nurse: “So, you’re back for your flat feet?”

Me: “No. I’m following up on my plantar fasciitis.”

She looks at my chart and her expression immediately changes.

Nurse: “Oh. Yep, it’s right here. Plantar fasciitis. Uh… the doctor will be in soon.”

Exit nurse, stage left.

Well, That’s Something You Don’t See Every Day
Funny, Health & Body, Hospital, Spouses & Partners | Healthy Romantic | April 9, 2022
I’m married to a big ol’ cowboy. When I was in labor with our child, the only time we were separated was when they took him to get into scrubs. He’s such a big farm boy that none of the scrubs fit him. He ended up wearing the largest painter suit they could find. When he walked in, I burst into laughter.

Me: “You look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters!”

Twenty-six years later, it’s my go-to memory in stressful situations.

EMF, Here Meaning Extra-Mad Fools
Bizarre, Current Events, Health & Body, New Zealand, Non-Dialogue, Stupid | Healthy | April 9, 2022
I live in New Zealand. We literally had people wearing tin foil hats at an “anti-[health crisis] mandate protest” here because they believed the government was making them sick with radio waves. The symptoms included a sore throat, cough, runny nose, fever, and exhaustion. But it was definitely not the health crisis illness making them sick, in the middle of our first outbreak, where people had tested positive.

That didn’t exist, apparently. Instead, it was a targeted attack using EMF being emitted by concrete blocks.

I’m so embarrassed.

Do You Need Reminders To Eat, Too?
Impossible Demands, Pharmacy, Reddit, Stupid | Healthy Right | CREDIT: WaitWut7 | April 8, 2022
I work in a pharmacy, and I got a call from a patient.

Patient: “I got notice that a script is about to be returned, and I want to know what it is.”

Me: “Your [diabetes medication] was filled almost two weeks ago, but it’s still available for pickup.”

He freaked out.

Patient: “Why wasn’t it with the other meds I picked up recently?!”

Me: “The doctor didn’t send in the refill until two days after your last pickup.”

Patient: “Well, no wonder I’ve been feeling so sick lately! Don’t you know I need to be taking my [medication] every day?! I haven’t taken it for two weeks if it wasn’t with the other meds that I picked up! I don’t look at what I’m getting. I just know that you guys are supposed to fill everything all at once! Why would you let me go two weeks without my [medication]?!”

Me: “It has been ready for pickup for almost two weeks, and you can come to pick it up at any time.”

I didn’t mention the fact that this was the third notice we had sent about his [medication] being ready for pickup.

He just continued to yell at me.

Patient: “It’s your fault I’ve been feeling sick! It’s your job to make sure I’m getting all of my meds at once so I don’t miss any!”

No matter how many times I explained it, he didn’t grasp the fact that we were waiting on the doctor to send in the refill.

It’s a good thing he brought all of this to my attention; I was unaware that I had picked up a second job as his personal nurse.

Who’s Panicking?!
Bizarre, France, Hospital, Nurses | Healthy | April 8, 2022
I have a chronic disease, so I have blood tests like twice a year. I’m used to it and not afraid of needles or blood at all. This particular day, I have to get some more tests at the hospital so I’m here for the day. A nurse puts a catheter in my arm so they can get blood several times.

At the end of the day, another nurse comes by to take it off.

Nurse: “Okay, I’m gonna take it off. It might bleed a little bit, so please stay calm.”

Me: “Sure.”

She gets the needle out, and maybe because I moved too much during the day, some blood gets out and runs along my arm. It’s more than I expected but it’s really not a big deal. I don’t say a word, thinking she’s going to give me something to wipe it with.

Nurse: “OKAY! STAY CALM, PLEASE! DON’T PANIC!”

Me: “Well, I—”

Nurse: “IT’S OKAY, MA’AM! IT’S GONNA BE OKAY!”

Me: “I… know?”

She frantically wipes my arm and takes my hand.

Nurse: *Gently* “Calm down. It’s over… It’s okay…”

Me: “Errr… thanks?”

Nurse: “Yeah, everything is fine now. I know, this was kind of stressful, right? Just a little bit of blood.”

Me: “Yeah… sure.”

Maybe she just wanted to add a dramatic touch to her day? She was very nice, though.

Just Hand Over The Meds, Buddy
Employees, Jerk, Oregon, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | April 5, 2022
Due to a number of health complications, on top of long-term injuries from a car accident from over a decade ago, my mom is on a sizable regimen of medications. She sees a doctor every month to keep on top of her pain management and to make sure some of her conditions aren’t deteriorating.

When Mom gets out of her appointment, she says the doctor has sent in a refill to our pharmacy so we can pick it up in half an hour. Mom and I go to get lunch and then go to pick up her prescriptions.

The person at the counter then hits us with this:

Pharmacy Tech: “We refilled one of your prescriptions but not the second one. Since they are the same, we’re still deciding whether or not you need it.”

Mom: “They’re not exactly the same, actually. One is immediate release at a lower dose; the other is long-term release at a slightly higher dose. I just had an appointment with my doctor.”

Pharmacy Tech: “Well, if we decide you need both, we’ll fill the second one.”

Mom: “What do you mean, ‘if’?! Are you telling me that you will override my doctor’s decision regarding my personal healthcare?!”

Pharmacy Tech: “We’re just deciding whether or not you really need both.”

Mom: “That’s my doctor’s decision, actually. You know, the one with a medical degree and a contract with me to handle my personal healthcare? The prescription is valid. Please just fill it.”

The pharmacy tech taps a button on the computer in front of him and then shrugs.

Pharmacy Tech: “Okay, so, apparently, you only need one of these, so you will only be picking up one today.”

Mom: “I think I’m going to talk to my doctor about that.”

Pharmacy Tech: *A little smugly* “You do whatever you feel is necessary, ma’am.”

Mom called her doctor and talked with him about our situation. She was told to hang tight and it would be taken care of.

Apparently, the doctor called and chewed the pharmacy tech up one side and down the other for overriding his medical decisions, because thirty minutes later, Mom got both of her meds. The pharmacy tech wouldn’t look Mom in the eye for the rest of our visit.

On one hand, I could understand a phone call to double-check for possible mistakes or misunderstandings. Doctor handwriting is notoriously terrible, after all. On the other, simply deciding that one medication is not necessary, in direct contradiction to a doctor, is a good way to lose your job.

Good Thing For The Eardrum Because It’s All Clear After That
Alberta, Canada, Medical Office, Patients, Stupid | Healthy | April 2, 2022
This story was told to me by my partner, who works as a medical assistant at a walk-in clinic.

A patient has come in for an ear-syringing (flushing with warm water) because her ears are blocked. My partner gives her a little cup to hold under the affected ear to catch the water that comes out.

Suddenly, the patient has a question.

Patient: “Wait. Shouldn’t I be holding this under the other ear?”

Medical Assistant: *Pauses* “No?”

Patient: “Well, isn’t the water going to go through to the other side?”

My partner responds after a lengthy pause, dying inside.

Medical Assistant: “No, ma’am. The eardrum will block it and it will come back out the same ear.”

Patient: *Suddenly embarrassed* “Oh, right.”

She stayed quiet for the rest of the procedure. I’m sure it was just a “duh” moment but it makes for a great story!

A Test Of Patients And Patience
Current Events, Health & Body, Jerk, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, Patients, Stupid, USA | Healthy | March 30, 2022
I am a medical assistant. The clinic I work in, like most clinics, has a specific area for patients who are symptomatic for a certain respiratory illness. They literally are supposed to enter through a side door and sit in a separate waiting room entirely, and this waiting room is connected to two conveniently semi-isolated exam rooms that are only used for sick patients.

There is a screening desk at the entrance to the main clinic where the patient or other guests are asked if they have symptoms, are a close contact, or are diagnosed with said illness. Then, the PSRs confirm again that the person checking in doesn’t have symptoms. Anyone who is symptomatic is directed to enter through the side door.

Cue this patient. She comes in for what should be a follow-up appointment, but instead, she wants to talk about her ear infection for the last week and her migraines for the last four days. During my intake, she mentions that she thinks the migraines are from allergies, which I note, but still, it’s nothing suspicious. Then, she coughs a deep, phlegmy cough. Okay, she smokes quite a bit, so I’m hoping it’s just a smoker’s cough which she does have documented in her chart. I take her vitals, and her heart rate and blood pressure are abnormal, which I consider to likely be related to the headaches. I ask her if she’s feeling symptomatic, to which she replies nonchalantly, “I am feeling a little under the weather.”

Crap.

I leave the room, my intake done, and relay this mishmash of vague symptoms to the doctor and suggest we test for the illness. She agrees but seems unsure at first, so I obtain the necessary swabs for a rapid and a send-out test while she dons personal protective equipment and talks to [Patient] about her concerns. When she is done I go back in, now garbed in a disposable gown, mask, face shield, and gloves, but wondering what’s the point since I was already exposed for over five minutes? I collect the samples, leave the room, and then go and start the rapid test. The test is supposed to be given a full ten minutes, but after four it is absolutely clear that it is positive.

I use our messaging service to tell the provider. She says she strongly anticipated this result after talking with [Patient], and then she discussed this with her. She prescribes [Patient] some medications to ease her symptoms and an antiviral specific to the illness, we wish her well, and she leaves.

Apparently, [Patient] told the doctor while they were first discussing her symptoms that she didn’t think she had the illness because she didn’t have a sore throat.

And thus ends my tale of why I will be using at-home tests frequently over the next two weeks until I either confirm the illness or I pass the timeframe in which I could expect to be sick.

It’s Nothing To Be Sniffed At
Michigan, Pets & Animals, Themed Story, USA, Vet | Healthy | March 28, 2022
Being in veterinary medicine, it’s a bit of an occupational hazard that you end up with pets that are disabled or ill in some way. Such was the case with the receptionist’s cat. He came in as a well-loved barn cat with a diagnosis of FIV. Very similar to HIV in humans, it’s not the virus that gets you, but the opportunistic illnesses you’re vulnerable to. Life in a barn was off the table, and the receptionist had no other cats in her house, so off Kitty went to live a spoiled house cat life.

A few months down the line, the receptionist calls on the drive-in to tell the technician Kitty’s been sick and she’s bringing him in. The tech goes into whirlwind mode, setting up oxygen and getting the IV pump set up, and hits the parking lot running, swooping the cat carrier out of the receptionist’s hand.

About this time the vet arrives and says:

Vet: “Isn’t that Kitty? What’s going on?”

Tech: “I don’t know, [Receptionist] says he’s been seizing all night!”

In walks the receptionist, who says:

Receptionist: “No, I said he’s been sneezing all night.”

Professionals Are Scary
Doctor/Physician, Funny, Hospital, New York, USA | Healthy | March 27, 2022
Growing up, I had asthma problems and would spend an evening in the hospital about once every other year. I grew used to the atmosphere around medical professionals. But being bad at reading subtleties between “professional demeanor” and “serious case,” I became a joker. If I could make the doctor or nurse laugh? I knew they weren’t going to come back with a dire prognosis.

One year, I went in because of a suspected seizure. It was very scary. I had to run a gamut of tests and I was put in a room in neurology. The next day, the neurologist walked in.

Neurologist: “I’ve looked at all your scans, and I can’t find anything.”

Me: “Odd. I’m sure I had a box of rocks in there. Any idea where it went?”

The neurologist froze for a moment, turned, and walked out of the room. This left me terrified. No chuckle? This was seriously bad, then, right?

A nurse rushed in and came to my bedside, asking, “What happened?” I relay the events.

Nurse: “Oh, good. I just saw him leaning against a wall in the hallway covering his face and shuddering. I thought he was crying.”

Me: “Is he trying not to laugh?”

Nurse: “Yeah. He doesn’t like appearing ‘less than professional’ in front of patients.”

We Don’t Talk About Cujo
Argentina, Buenos Aires, Jerk, Themed Story, Vet | Healthy | March 25, 2022
At the veterinary hospital we frequent, you are addressed by your pet name; e.g., my husband and I are Mr./Mrs. Cherry, after our cat. When the vet is ready for you, the receptionist will call out “Mr./Mrs. [Pet]!” and you can go in for a consult.

One day, we have a fellow pet parent who enjoys making fun of people’s choice of pet names as he waits for his own, particularly of small pets with tough-guy names – Terminator, Darth Vader, etc.

The first pet is called and it’s a miniature Doberman Pinscher called Killer. The wannabe comedian does his whole schtick of making fun of Killer for having a tough name and being tiny. Nobody is amused.

The second pet is Thor, a grey toy poodle. Cue the dude and his comedy routine. By now, the whole waiting room is dreading the next client.

The next pet called is Cujo. The dude turns around and right in his face is the largest Newfoundland Shepherd I have ever seen. It’s easily the size of a young bear, for those who have never seen the breed.

Now, normally, they are super gentle, but there is something wrong with the dog’s leg because it’s bandaged. When the dude turns around in his chair to make fun of Cujo, he is greeted with a deep, warning WOOF. He turns white as a sheet and just sits there, staring at the dog and possibly hoping he won’t get eaten.

There is light laughter from the rest of the pet parents waiting in the room. We never hear a peep out of the guy again until his own dog is brought out of the grooming section of the hospital. Serves him right.

Vets Are Mind-Readers, Too, Apparently
Cincinnati, Ignoring & Inattentive, Jerk, Non-Dialogue, Ohio, Pets & Animals, USA, Vet | Healthy | March 24, 2022
I was seeing a client for the first time whose concern was that her dog was itchy. The file had a few visits from about a year ago concerning urinary issues and suspect urinary tract infection, but at a recheck visit, the client had reported it resolved. Otherwise, the dog had a healthy, normal history.

I could see on the exam that it had scratched its skin in several places from being so itchy. Running a flea comb through its coat, I pulled out several fleas that I was able to show to the client, which is always very satisfying. We started him on flea prevention and also gave him an anti-itch injection, as he was so itchy I was suspicious he was either allergic to the fleas (which is a thing) or had some allergies on top of the fleas.

I worked with the client to find options that worked in her budget and gave estimates for everything. At the end of the appointment, as with all appointments, I asked if there were any other questions or concerns for that day. We talked about the skin and allergies a little bit more, but otherwise, there were no other concerns.

The next day, she left a negative review on our page because, “We never resolved her dog’s urinary issues.”

Cats Love Fish And Chips
Arizona, Inspirational, Pets & Animals, Themed Story, USA, Vet | Healthy | March 23, 2022
Early in the afternoon, I take a call from a woman wanting to bring a found cat in to be scanned for a microchip. My city has a large feral cat population, so most found cats don’t belong to anybody and are not chipped, but I told her to bring the cat any time we were open.

Two hours later, a couple walks in with a beautiful white kitty sitting in an open cardboard box. I bring them into the exam room so he doesn’t escape from the box and get into trouble, and get the microchip scanner.

The scanner beeps almost immediately. Huzzah! He has a chip! I check in our computer in case he’s a patient of ours (no dice), then look up the chip number on the AAHA website. Second huzzah! The chip is actually registered! Many people have chips put in but never register with the chip company, rendering the chip useless.

The chip company gives me the number they have on file with the owner and I call it. It goes to voicemail, but third huzzah! The voicemail message indicates that is in fact the phone of the owner on record.

The owner calls back almost immediately and we get as far as “Do you have my cat?” and “Yes!” before the call drops. I spend ten minutes trying to call back, but can’t get through. I thank the people who brought the cat in and set him up in a kennel to wait for the owner to call back.

About half an hour later, the owner calls back. The poor man had spent all day putting up lost cat posters in his neighborhood, finally got the call that his kitty was found, and his phone ran out of battery. We gave him directions to our clinic, and waited for him to arrive.

About 40 minutes later, the found kitty’s owner arrived. The cat had been kennel shy with us (i.e. nervous and hissing at anyone who approached), but as soon as his owner appeared, I opened the kennel door and he climbed right into his daddy’s arms.

This kitty’s owner did everything right to enable us to contact him, and I’m so glad I was able to reunite them.

Should’ve Had Your Apples Today
California, Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Jerk, USA | Healthy | March 21, 2022
I was leaving a doctor’s visit when I had to walk by another doctor standing in the hallway. He had a chart in his hand and was facing one door, so I moved to go behind him. Just as I was between the doctor and the room he was not facing, he turned toward me. We nearly collided but I managed to stop just in time.

Me: “Oh, I—”

Doctor: *Scowling* “Never, never do that again.”

Me: “Do what?”

Doctor: “Stand in my way! You should more considerate of those around you going forward.”

Me: *Pauses* “Said the man in the middle of the hallway.”

The doctor glared at me as I moved past. I looked back and saw him entering the room he was facing originally. I was going to apologize originally, but after he scolded me, I was no longer sorry.

All Baby Birds Deserve Love!
Awesome, Funny, Hawaii, Honolulu, Inspirational, Non-Dialogue, Pets & Animals, USA, Zoo | Healthy | March 18, 2022
My daughter’s preschool class was taking a field trip to the Honolulu Zoo, and I went along to help chaperone. It must have been preschool day or something; at least half a dozen other schools were there, too, and preschoolers were everywhere.

As our group was walking toward one of the exhibits, I spotted a baby bird on the pathway, where it was in imminent danger of being trampled by four-year-olds. Having recently learned that birds do not abandon their chicks for “smelling like a human,” and, in fact, few birds even have a good sense of smell, I gently picked it up and moved to it to a grassy patch under a tree on the side of the path. I would have left it alone were it not in immediate danger.

We had only moved to Hawaii a few months prior, and I was curious what sort of exotic-to-me tropical bird it might be, so as I was moving it, I had my daughter’s teacher take a picture. As the bird still only had downy feathers, I couldn’t really tell what it was.

I got home and emailed the picture to the local chapter of the Audubon Society and awaited a reply. In the meantime, I looked through a bird book. Maybe a young cattle egret? A peachick? It wasn’t long before I got a reply.

It was a rock pigeon — not even a tropical pigeon, but the grey pigeon you see in just about every city.

That was nowhere near as exciting as I’d hoped, but at least the bird didn’t get trampled.

You’re Not The Only One Getting An F Here
Arizona, Current Events, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, USA | Healthy | March 15, 2022
I started coughing one day at work and, though it felt like an asthma attack, I woke up the next day with a fever. With the health crisis raging, I went to the local clinic to get tested. I live in a “company town,” and this clinic served the needs of the company employees.

I got tested, and the clinic portal sent me a message that the result was “F”. I didn’t know what “F” meant, so I used the portal messaging to ask for clarification. I got no response.

As a first responder (trainer for rescue teams), this upset me. I needed to know if I had the illness or not and if I should be quarantined. I called the clinic, only to be put on perpetual hold. Now, I was mad.

I messaged the clinic through the portal that if I didn’t get a response, I would file a complaint with the State Medical Board. The response from the Chief of Staff: “Let him file.”

My complaint is now working its way through the system. The county health department called me a few hours later to let me know I should quarantine — a few hours that I could have spent in public, spreading the illness.

We’re All Tired, But None So Much As Healthcare Workers
Bad Behavior, Current Events, Health & Body, Hospital, Patients | Healthy | March 12, 2022
I work in healthcare. When you enter our hospital, you have to wear a mask. Duh, we’re a hospital. But of course, people come here trying to act smart. Just because we’re a hospital, it doesn’t mean we’ll let anything slide. We know that those “health reasons” for not wearing a mask don’t fly. We know that it’s not a HIPAA violation to ask if you’re vaccinated. But of course, some patients want to act high and mighty and righteous and are just looking for a fight. Or they are plain ignorant.

We had a patient who was insistent that the health crisis wasn’t real, even though he’d had a lengthy stay in the hospital with the illness in question.

We had a patient get mad that his mother’s appointment was rescheduled because she tested positive for the illness. He was mad because she couldn’t get Botox injections for her crow’s feet.

And then, we had this patient who called in before his daughter’s appointment.

Patient: “My daughter has [illness]. I don’t want to get it, so I’ve locked her in her room and I’m making her mother take care of her. I’ve been using hand sanitizer every hour, on the hour, and I have UV lights hanging up everywhere in the house. Anyway, I have an appointment at [time].”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’ll have to reschedule it since someone in your household has [illness].”

He got angry.

Patient: “That’s ridiculous! I’m coming in anyway. I’ll just lie to your screeners at the front door!”

I added notes in his chart, marked “Important,” so he wouldn’t be able to.

How To Get Fired By Your Doctor In A Few Easy Steps
Bad Behavior, Call Center, Current Events, Liars/Scammers, Patients, USA | Healthy | March 9, 2022
When you call your doctor’s office, a lot of times you are sitting in a queue waiting for someone to answer the phones because the clinics only have a certain number of people on the staff (fewer now due to the health crisis). The hospital network I work for recently opened a few local call centers to handle the overflow of phone calls to help reduce wait times. This is what I do. My job mainly consists of registering new patients, making appointments, refilling medications, and sending messages between the patient and their doctor. Each doctor has their own set of strict guidelines I must follow, and it varies from doctor to doctor.

It was the end of the week, in the middle of the month, and it was kind of a slow day. I could see the queues and not one time throughout the day was there anyone in there. Calls were being answered as soon as they came in. About twenty minutes before the lines were shut off for the day, I got a call. The woman was already angry when I answered.

Patient: “I’ve been calling all day! You people are so lazy, not answering the phone when that’s your job! I want an appointment with my doctor!”

Me: “What is the reason for your appointment?”

This is a required question. She listed off a bunch of symptoms that hit a red flag for [health crisis]. After checking with her doctor’s guidelines, I informed her that her doctor would not see her in the office until she got a negative test for [sickness].

Patient: “I already took a test! It was positive.”

Me: “Your doctor cannot see you in person with a positive test, but he’s willing to do a virtual visit.”

She then proceeded to curse and scream at me about how incompetent her doctor was and threatened to just get a new doctor. I tried explaining to her that all the doctors I work with do not see [sickness] patients in the office right now for the safety of the clinic staff as well as other patients. After going back and forth with her for a few minutes — much cursing from her side — I finally got her to agree to a virtual visit.

Unfortunately, her doctor didn’t have any appointments available for three days because of the weekend. This started another round of screaming at me. I suggested if she really wanted to see someone that she should go to an urgent care. She started changing up her symptoms to make them seem more urgent. Suddenly, she’d had a fever yesterday of 105F (40.5C) and her throat was so swollen she couldn’t eat anything and her cough was so bad that she couldn’t breathe.

At this point, I’d been on the phone with her for nearly fifteen minutes and had yet to hear her cough.

Patient: “I tried to go to an urgent care, but they don’t take people with mild symptoms.”

This was a lie. They ONLY take people with mild symptoms, and the symptoms she JUST described to me weren’t mild. If anything, she should have gone to the ER, but I am not allowed to even suggest that.

After a few more minutes of her cursing at me, I told her that I was sending a message back to the nursing staff to see if there was anything they could do for her. I only have access to the schedule that the doctors want me to see. They may have sections blocked off for other things and can fit patients in, but I cannot make those appointments. Also, they could schedule her with one of the nursing staff or another doctor, which I could not do per her doctor’s guidelines. She called me useless.

I sent the message to the back.

Me: “You’ll hear from someone within forty-eight hours.”

This was the standard phone script for all messages; plus, this was literally the end of the day. I disconnected the call before I got cursed at more.

Technically, I can disconnect a call at any point if a patient is screaming and cursing at me, but I didn’t want to inflict her on one of my coworkers when she inevitably called back. I wanted to try and keep her on the line long enough that she couldn’t call back because business hours would be over.

In the message I typed to the nurse, I could not state how the patient acted toward me because patients can see those messages. What I can do is talk to my supervisor, who will listen to the call (as they are recorded) and then call her doctor’s office manager, who is given access to listen to the call. They can put notes on your chart that only your care team can see. Doctors don’t take well to you screaming/cursing/threatening their staff.

The woman got her appointment with a nurse who was free over the weekend, but she was dismissed from her doctor’s care.