Health Care stories

(I Love) The Way You Make Me Feel
FUNNY, GOLDEN YEARS, HEALTH & BODY, HOSPITAL, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 1, 2021
My dad is battling cancer and needs surgery. My sister and I are waiting for him in the recovery room, and of course, our nerves are already on edge.

As we are waiting for our dad to wake up, we hear the elderly little lady in the recovery suite next door, bless her heart, break out with this:

Elderly Lady: “Wow! Anesthesia is so great! I can see why people like anesthesia! You know, like Michael Jackson and them people!”

We tried so very hard not to crack up.

Too Bad Vaccines Don’t Combat Argumentative Behavior
ENGLAND, INSTANT KARMA, JERK, LONDON, MEDICAL OFFICE, NON-DIALOGUE, UK | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 27, 2021
I am a volunteer vaccine marshall. My colleagues work hard to make sure as many people are vaccinated as quickly and smoothly as possible. We do almost every part of the process except check the patients in when they arrive and actually inject the vaccine.

Today, we have both of the vaccines currently offered by the NHS. One is preferred by most of those who have read about it. I agree it’s the superior vaccine, as do most experts, but either will keep you safe. My job today is to take people from the waiting room to a vaccination room, so I actually get to decide who gets which vaccine. But I have been told that individuals don’t get to choose; they should take whichever vaccine they are offered.

Because I want to be fair, I decide on a rule of how to direct the patients into the two vaccination rooms, so I am not actually making that decision; it’s random depending on when you come to the front of the queue. People go to whichever room has a space. If both rooms have a space, then I direct the patients to the “better” vaccine room until it’s full again, and then the next patients go to the other room.

While both rooms are fully occupied, I hear a man go to the doctor working check-in and have an increasingly animated discussion with him about why he should get the “better” vaccine. The doctor is stoic, never admitting there are two being offered today, and not allowing him to choose. Meanwhile, as the argument continues, spaces open in his preferred vaccine room. I fill them according to my rules. When the argumentative man finally gives up arguing and joins those in the waiting area, I pick him out when his turn comes up and send him to the only room that is accepting patients at that moment, which is not the vaccine he wanted.

If I hadn’t spent so long arguing for the other vaccine, he would have got it!

Makes You Want To Cut Ties With This Client
BIZARRE, CANADA, HEALTH & BODY, VET | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 25, 2021
I’ve only been working at this vet clinic for about three months, but I’ve had plenty of strange or just plain rude interactions with clients already. This one definitely takes the trophy for TMI. A client calls and wants to make an appointment for his dog to have a urinalysis done, as the dog has had urine issues in the past. I’ve booked him for a few days ahead, and the client has some questions about collecting the urine sample. He’s been very nice and polite throughout the conversation, but then…

Client: “Last time we brought in a sample, we just kinda held a container underneath her to catch the pee. Is that okay?”

Me: “Yes, that’s fine, as long as you bring the sample in to us within an hour of collecting it. And if you have a sterile container, that would also be great.”

Client: “So, like, clean out a Tupperware container or something?”

Me: “Yep, and if you have cleaning alcohol, that would be preferred, but if not, just a clean container will do.”

Client: “Oh! I think I still have a sterile container from a little while ago. I was going to use it for my vasectomy sample, but that never ended up happening, so I can use that!” *Laughs*

I actually pull the phone away from my face and stare at it for a second before composing myself and return to the call.

Me: “Well, yes, like I said, as long as it’s clean…”

I confirmed his appointment time again and hung up, a bit bewildered. My coworker saw my face and asked what happened; when I retold the conversation, she said, “Why the h*** would anyone tell you that willingly?! That’s so gross!” I honestly don’t know. I don’t think he was being creepy but it definitely threw me off.

We’d Be Seriously Pee-ved
COLORADO, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HYPOCRISY, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 23, 2021
I am seeing my primary care physician.

Doctor: “You really need to start taking a multivitamin.”

The following year, I see them again.

Doctor: “Why on earth are you taking a multivitamin?! All you’re doing is making your pee expensive.”

Well, When You Put It Like That
CALL CENTER, CURRENT EVENTS, GOVERNMENT, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 21, 2021
I work in a call center for my state’s unemployment office. I have a caller who is unable to work due to an asymptomatic case of that nasty disease that has defined 2020. I’m walking him through the documentation I need to qualify him and get him his unemployment. One of the items we need is a doctor’s note saying the individual can’t work.

Caller: “So… you want me to go into a public doctor’s office to get a note that says I shouldn’t go into public?”

Ask Your Optician If Night Vision Is Right For You
OPTOMETRIST/OPTICIAN, PATIENTS, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 20, 2021
I work in an optician’s office and we have a patient come in saying that they can’t see through the glasses they recently bought.

Me: “Hello, how may I help you today?”

Patient: “I have a problem with these glasses; my vision isn’t clear at night.”

Me: “Oh, and how about day time? Are you having problems with reading or distance?”

Patient: “My vision is fine during the day, but everything is dark at night and when I drive through a tunnel.”

Me: “Does your vision get blurry?”

Patient: “No, you’re not understanding. I can’t see far at night with these glasses! Everything is dark! It’s fine during the day, but when it’s dark, I can’t see everything clearly.”

My colleague heard this conversation and quickly jumped in. She had to explain that vision is limited for everyone at night because it’s dark, and no one has night vision. The prescription was fine and we had the health of his eyes checked out, which came out all clear.

It’s been five years but I still think about that man.

Some People Are Just Born For It
AUSTRALIA, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, FUNNY NAMES, MEDICAL OFFICE, OPTOMETRIST/OPTICIAN, QUEENSLAND | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 19, 2021
When my nan was still alive, she had a doctor that she had been going to for many years. He was a nice bloke, friendly, and competent at his job.

His name? Doctor Seewright.

His occupation? Optometrist.

You can’t make this stuff up.

Fat People Deserve Better
BIGOTRY, CALIFORNIA, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, JERK, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, LOS ANGELES, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 18, 2021
I’m having chest pains after eating, and it finally becomes bad enough that I go to the doctor. I’m a rather tall 240 pounds. I’m sitting in the exam area waiting for someone to come in when the doctor walks in, looking at a chart.

Doctor: “Mr. [My Name], your problem is that you’re grossly… Wait. You’re 6’9″. I was going to say that you’re obese but you’re not, are you? I guess I’d better examine you.”

After actually examining me and talking to me, I get meds for GERD. But he sure was quick to dismiss me in the beginning.

There’s Strengthening Your Immune System And Then There’s This
CURRENT EVENTS, ENGLAND, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, LONDON, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, UK, VOLUNTEER | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 17, 2021
I’m a volunteer marshall. I do anything required at a vaccination site to make things go smoothly, except preparing and giving the actual injections, though I have applied to be trained to do that, too!

The tested vaccine protocol for both vaccines currently on offer in the UK is two doses, three weeks apart. The government has decided to focus on getting as many people their first vaccination as soon as possible, so patients are being told to wait twelve weeks for their second vaccination. I was vaccinated three weeks ago, which means I am ready for a second shot, but I probably won’t be called before Easter; it’s the end of January now. However, I am working on the front line, so I will take it if they offer it to me. Before administering the vaccine, they ask a series of screening questions — allergies, are you well today, etc. — and one of them is, “Have you had a vaccination of any kind in the last seven days?”

I’ve arrived late for my shift at a site I haven’t visited before. I go to the check-in desk where patients go when they arrive to pick a fresh mask up before finding something to do.

I take a mask from a box on the table and indicate my hi-viz.

Me: “Thanks. I’m a volunteer; I have just arrived.”

Admin: “Great, just take a seat there.”

I sit in front of a nurse, thinking she is going to deploy me.

Nurse: “What’s your date of birth and NHS number?”

Me: “What’s happening here?!”

Nurse: “Don’t worry; I’m not going to give you an injection.”

Phew! She asks a few more questions and I see where this is going.

Me: “You are not going to give me an injection, but after this, someone else will?”

Nurse: “That’s right.”

Me: “I had the [Company #1 ] vaccine on the eighth.”

Nurse: “That’s fine; it’s more than seven days ago.”

Me: “What vaccine are you using today?”

Nurse: “[Company #2].”

Me: “But I had the [Company #1 ]!”

It took a few more moments to work it out. It had been a long day, and she had asked these questions a lot. There was much laughter as the people nearby had wondered why I kept saying [Company #1 ]! If I had been at the end of my shift and as much on autopilot as she was, I might have been an n=1 study of the effects of mixing two vaccines.

I guess it’s a reminder to own your own healthcare.

A Bad Idea For So Many Reasons
COWORKERS, LABORATORY, RUDE & RISQUE, SOUTH AFRICA, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 16, 2021
I’m training a colleague to work in a lab for rapidly spreading diseases. The standard operating procedures are slightly different than for some of the other germs we usually work with, including wearing extra Personal Protective Equipment on top of the usual kit. As we are about to exit…

Colleague: “I want to watch you disrobe.”

Me: “I think the word for PPE is ‘doff.’ ‘Disrobe’ sounds like we’re about to have sex.”

This Heart Attack Is A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
BAD BEHAVIOR, ILLINOIS, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 15, 2021
I get strep twice per year, every year. It never fails. It comes at different times, but twice a year it comes. I have unusual symptoms that aren’t typically linked to strep as it gets worse every time I get it.

I wake up one morning and sure enough, my head is throbbing and hot, I have the chills, my throat hurts slightly, and my stomach is cramping. My heart is also thumping pretty hard. My fiancé decides I need to go to the doctor, and I agree since it is that time again! Strep.

Not once have I had an issue with going to the doctor, telling them I have strep, and having them test and give me my prescription in under an hour. This time is different.

My fiancé has to drive me, and we can’t get a sitter so he and the kids are waiting for me in the car. I walk in and wait for about ten minutes before getting into a room. After about another ten minutes, a nurse comes in and, without saying a word, checks my blood pressure and heart rate.

Nurse: “Your heart is beating really fast.”

Me: “Yes, I know. I have a naturally fast heart rate, and I’m sick, which makes it beat faster. It’s normal for me.”

Nurse: “You’re going to have a heart attack. We need to run an EKG.”

Me: *Starting to panic* “Um, no, this is a normal heart rate for me. I just have strep throat; I’d like to be tested for that, please.”

Nurse: “No. You’re going to have a heart attack and die. You need an EKG now.”

She leaves the room. Now I am alone and completely freaking out. This has never happened to me before and I am in full panic mode. She comes back into the room with another nurse and a big machine trailing behind her.

Nurse: “Take off your shirt and bra.”

Me: “What? No, absolutely not!”

Nurse: “Take them off. You are having a heart attack and we need to do this test.”

She is hovering over me and glaring at me, and I’m crying at this point, scared out of my mind. The other nurse that came in rolls her eyes at me, and I am confused and still have no idea what’s going on. So, I follow her instructions, unclear on what else to do. She pushes me down and starts hooking up the wires attached to the machine, not explaining what they do or what the machine is. What happens to a person’s heart rate when they are panicking? It increases! After I spend a couple of minutes hooked up to the machine, the nurse clucks her tongue at me.

Nurse: “Yes, you are going to have a heart attack within the next twenty-four hours. All I can do for you is tell you to go home and wait for it. Chew some aspirin if you feel something coming on.”

I’m completely in tears and barely able to speak.

Me: “I— I still need the strep test. I just came in for strep. Please just give me the test. Strep is really bad for me. I need the antibiotics, please—”

Nurse: “Ugh, fine. Wait here.”

She leaves me in the room by myself having a panic attack for THIRTY minutes and comes back with the strep swab. It’s never hurt before, but she shoves it down my throat hard, which makes me cry harder.

Nurse: “Okay, your test is done, but it will probably be negative. Go home and put 911 into your phone; you’ll need it later!”

I left shaking and sobbing. When I got to the car, my fiancé was FURIOUS and offered to go in and cause a scene, but I was horribly upset and just wanted to go home. I did leave a nasty review for them and they contacted me two years later asking about what happened. TEN days later, I got a call with the results from the test. Guess what? Positive! And for some reason, they had sent my prescription to the wrong pharmacy an HOUR away. I never did go back, and I never had that heart attack!

Probably Something Like “Funny Meme Go Brrr”
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, ILLINOIS, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 8, 2021
I’m at my yearly wellness visit. I’ve been having an eczema flare that is showing up on my eyelids. It has never shown up there before, so I figure I’ll ask my doctor what I can use on it. However, he’s decided that something on his laptop is more important than my appointment.

Doctor: *Staring at his laptop* “So, no concerns today?”

Me: “Uh, no. I do have one.”

Doctor: “Uh-huh.”

Me: “I think my main concern today is my eczema.”

Doctor: *Typing something* “Uh-huh.”

Me: “It’s showing up on my eyelids. It’s never done that before. Is that normal?”

Doctor: *Still typing* “Put some steroid cream on it.”

Me: “On my eyelids?!”

No response.

Me: “Are you listening to me?”

Doctor: *Looks up* “Did you say something?”

I sigh loudly.

Me: “I have eczema on my eyelids. It’s very itchy. What facial moisturizer do you recommend?”

Doctor: “You can use steroid cream on your eyelids.”

Me: “But the tube says not to.”

Doctor: *Starts typing again* “Steroid cream. It’ll clear it right up. Now, if we’re done here…”

I do not put steroid cream on my eyelids. I make an appointment with my eye doctor and tell him the issue.

Me: “…and I did bring it up to my primary care doctor, but all he said was to put steroid cream on it. It’s on my eyelids!”

My eye doctor literally drops his pen and notepad and stares at me.

Eye Doctor: “You didn’t actually put steroid cream on your eyelids, did you?!”

Me: “Of course not. The tube says not to.”

Eye Doctor: “Good. The eyelid skin is much too thin for that. I recommend an unscented facial moisturizer or hydrating eye cream. [Brand] is good for sensitive skin. Geez, what was your doctor thinking?!”

Me: “I have no idea.”

I have a new primary care doctor now.

Wrap This Person In Bubble Wrap! Part 2
BIZARRE, HEALTH & BODY, HOME, NORTHERN IRELAND, UK | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 6, 2021
CONTENT WARNING: Major Injury



All through my life, I have been accidentally injuring myself in spectacular ways. The fact that I have balance and coordination problems as a result of ASD and Dyspraxia doesn’t help. At school, the teachers knew me as “the girl who’s always getting hurt.” I have so many stories about me getting injured that it would be impossible to share them all here, but here’s one of the worse ones.

This was about two years ago when I was nineteen years old, on the night of my sister’s sixteenth birthday. My sister and I don’t get on, so my mother and I agreed that I could spend the evening in my room. I was happy enough, as I don’t really cope well with lots of people around, and anyway, none of my sister’s friends liked me.

I was sitting in my room playing a game on my computer, and I got up to use the bathroom. As I slid out from between my desk and my chair, my foot must have gotten caught in a cable, because I tripped. I fell and smacked face-first into a set of bookshelves, smashing my glasses. My hands, forearms, and knees hit the wooden floor with full force. My mother, hearing the loud crash, came rushing in to find me sprawled on the floor, blood pouring from my nose, unable to use my arms to push myself upright. She did her best to stop the bleeding from my nose and then decided that it would be prudent to take me to the hospital.

A couple of x-rays later and the extent of my injuries was shocking. I’d broken my nose in three places; the pain was so bad that I felt sick. I’d broken my left radius and ulna in six places and shattered my left thumb. I’d broken my right wrist in two places and three fingers on my right hand. After an overnight stay in hospital, I went for surgery the following morning and was kept in again overnight.

My mother came to pick me up from the hospital and, according to her, I “looked a real sight.” I had two black eyes and bruising on my cheeks, and my nose was in a cast. My left arm was casted from my fingers up past my elbow, and I had a cast on my thumb. My right arm had a cast covering my three broken fingers and running along my arm until just before my elbow. My knees were bruised, and although not broken, it was painful to bend them.

As I walked out of the hospital with my two arms in slings, it occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to do much for myself for the next few weeks. Plus, I’ve been deaf and non-speaking since birth and I use sign language, so I knew I’d have to get by with nodding and shaking my head. I hated needing my mother to feed me, wash me, and dress me, but what could I do? I told myself that at least I could still walk…

And then two weeks later, I fell down the stairs, broke my leg, and ended up confined to bed anyway!

Wrap This Person In Bubble Wrap!
AUSTRALIA, BIZARRE, FAST FOOD, HEALTH & BODY | HEALTHY | JANUARY 21, 2021
CONTENT WARNING: Major Injury



I am accident-prone. I mean, REALLY accident-prone. I have broken most of the bones in my body at least once — some, in the case of my nose and fingers, multiple times. I have screws and plates all through my body. There’s nothing wrong with my bones, either, if you need further proof of what a disaster magnet I am.

In the highlights of my list of “big injuries”:

I was hit by a drunk driver and dragged two blocks when I was eight years old. It took me months to learn how to walk again. I fell down a set of stairs in high school and broke both my legs. I was ADJACENT to a car crash as a pedestrian and had all my ribs broken by a flying tyre. I was attacked by a pack of dogs when I was a toddler that somehow got past two locked six-foot gates. I was the only one injured when my first workplace burned down, despite being one of the first out the door. I was standing in the evacuation area with thirteen other people when the gas canister exploded, and guess who was the only person hit with glass and shrapnel? Me.

I am not exaggerating the disaster magnet thing. My husband is well versed in emergency rooms and surgery waiting areas.

I start working at a fast food place. My husband waits for the inevitable call that I have been horrifically burned by the fryer or somehow run over in the drive-thru.

One night, I’m working overnight. My husband is peacefully sleeping when he gets a call from my manager. He groggily answers the phone.

Husband: “Hello?”

Manager: “Hey, man. Um, [My Name] has just left here in an ambulance. She asked me to ask you to meet her at the hospital and bring her emergency bag?”

My husband gets out of bed and starts to grab my always packed emergency bag.

Husband: “Yep, on it, mate. Hey, what happened?”

Manager: “She, uh… She broke her hip.”

Husband: *Pause* “I gotta say, out of everything I expected, that wasn’t it.”

Yep. I had slipped on a puddle of grease and slid the exact wrong way with my leg twisted. It had dislocated, and then I landed on it full force and rolled. After surgery and rehab, I was okay, but my husband LOVES to tell people I broke my hip flipping burgers.

Hilarious This Way Comes
ENGLAND, FUNNY, HOSPITAL, LONDON, RUDE & RISQUE, UK, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 4, 2021
Back in the 1960s, when I am a young man of seventeen going on eighteen, I work in the medical laboratory of the local teaching hospital. One of my regular jobs is to go round the wards collecting blood samples for pre-op testing.

I am in the day-room of the gynaecological ward collecting blood from twenty to thirty ladies. One of the younger ones is very obviously extremely nervous. One of the older ladies speaks up.

Older Lady: “Don’t worry about him, love; it’s only a little prick.”

I blushed the colour of a beetroot and suddenly everyone, except me, was much more relaxed.

A Stroke Of Brilliance
DATE, ENGLAND, HOSPITAL, LONDON, STUPID, UK | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 2, 2021
After a transient event, I end up being investigated for stroke. I receive a letter from the neurology department about my next appointment.

Letter: “Unfortunately, we have had to change your outpatient clinic appointment. It was previously scheduled for 16 May at 15:00. We are very sorry we had to do this. Your new appointment is: Date: 16 May, Time: 15:00.”

And they are investigating ME for a stroke?

Seriously, it’s a good thing I hadn’t had one. I don’t know how someone struggling with a cognitive deficit might deal with this.

You’d Butter Forget Those Old Wives’ Tales
ADVICE, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, FRIENDS, HOME, ILLINOIS, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 31, 2021
One Christmas Eve, when I was eleven, I decided to make myself some tea. I put a pan of water on the stove and tried to turn on the burner on our gas stove. The burner wasn’t igniting and so I moved the pan and bent over to check if the pilot went out. Just as I bent over, the burner flared to life and caught my hair and my ear on fire.

I panicked and ran screaming into our front room where my mom was visiting with a friend. My mom stood up and literally smacked the fire out with her hand.

Mom’s Friend: “Put butter on it!”

My mom ignored her and got a wet, cool washcloth for me to put on it.

Mom’s Friend: “[Mom], you should put butter on it.”

After about a minute, my mom took a look at my ear and made the decision to take me to the hospital.

Mom’s Friend: “She doesn’t need a hospital, just butter.”

No butter was used and we went to the hospital. I was seen fairly quickly and it turned out that I had second- and third-degree burns on my ear. Normally, they would want to admit someone with the burns I had, just to be safe, but since it was a holiday and I was a kid, they let me go home with some special burn cream and painkillers.

Before we left, my mom mentioned to the doctor how her friend kept telling her to put butter on the burn. He was aghast. He wrote a note on the paper they used for sick notes for my mom’s friend detailing why not to put butter on a burn. I was kind of out of it when I got home, so I don’t know if my mom ever gave her friend that note, but I don’t remember her ever saying to put butter on a burn again.

Third Nurse Is The Charm!
IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, ILLINOIS, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 30, 2021
This story is pre-health crisis. One morning, I wake up with a sore throat. I assume I have the beginning of a cold and go on with my day. However, the sore throat does not go away. It gets worse over a twenty-four-hour period to the point where I can hardly swallow, and I develop a fever. I call my doctor’s office because in the past, this has indicated strep, and I make sure to tell the receptionist this. They tell me to come in right away.

I do so, and they take me into an exam room. I’m met by a nurse I’ve never seen before. This is normal, as there’s a nursing college nearby, and my doctor gets a lot of their recent grads.

Nurse #1 : “Okay, we’re gonna do some bloodwork to check you for mono.”

Me: “Mono?”

Nurse #1 : “You have all the symptoms.”

Me: “I have a history of strep. Isn’t [Doctor] gonna check my throat?”

Nurse #1 : “We’re checking for mono.”

The nurse preps me for bloodwork. I am used to needles, as I have a chronic illness that requires frequent labs. However, this is a disaster. She attempts to stick me and misses the vein. Then, she starts digging around UNDER THE SKIN with the needle to attempt to hit the vein. I whimper.

Nurse #1 : “Not used to bloodwork?”

Me: “Oh, I get plenty of bloodwork. Check my chart. I’m not used to someone digging under my skin with a needle. Ow! Can you stop?! I don’t think you’re gonna find the vein that way!”

She finally pulls it out and bandages it up.

Nurse #1 : “I guess that vein wasn’t big enough! Let me get [Nurse #2 ].”

[Nurse #2 ], whom I’ve also never seen before, walks in, and with no warning, attempts to stick me in the same arm. She also misses the vein. She pulls the needle out of my arm and jabs me again in the same spot, harder. I shriek.

Me: “Ouch! Seriously?!”

Nurse #2 : “Have you ever had blood drawn before, sweetie?”

I shoot her a look.

Me: “I have [chronic illness], so I have labs twice a year. Did any of you look at my chart?”

Nurse #2 : “Oh. Your veins are very stubborn. Have they had trouble getting blood from you before?”

Me: “No. Never. Is there someone else that can help me?”

They get a third nurse, who has done my labs several times.

Nurse #3 : “Oh, hey, [My Name]. How’s it going?”

Me: “Bad.”

Nurse #2 : “Her veins are stubborn. What should we do?”

[Nurse #3 ] examines my arm and rolls her eyes.

Nurse #3 : “You stuck her three times in one arm?! The answer is obvious. Use her other arm, and don’t stab her, either! I heard her scream down the hall!”

She leaves, grumbling under her breath. Thankfully, they take her advice. [Nurse #1 ] and [Nurse #2 ] then decide to test me for the flu which, as many of us know, is a very long swab up the nose. And they JAM it up my nose. So, now my nose, arm, and throat are throbbing.

Me: “Hey, um, is [Doctor] gonna look at my throat at all?”

Nurse #1 : “He wants to start with this. Test results should be in tomorrow. You can go home now.”

I go home. The next day, I feel worse. The doctor’s office calls and says that both tests were negative.

Me: “Okay, but I’m still sick. Can I come back for a strep test?”

Nurse #2 : “[Doctor] says that if you’re still sick after ten days, call us. Then he’ll talk about an antibiotic.”

Me: “But I can barely swallow.”

Nurse #2 : “He said ten days.”

I live off soft foods, warm liquids, cough drops, and Aleve until day six when I can’t take it anymore. I can swallow a bit more, but I still have a high fever and my throat still hurts. I’ve also developed joint pain. I call the doctor back in tears. I finally get [Nurse #3 ], who apologizes and says she will speak with the doctor. She calls back a couple of hours later.

Nurse #3 : “Okay, [My Name], [Doctor] has recommended an antibiotic. I called it in and put a rush on it. I know you’re feeling pretty miserable and you’ve been waiting a long time. I’m so sorry about that. I’m not sure why they made you wait.”

Me: “Thank you!”

I felt A LOT better within a couple of days of starting the antibiotic.

His Frustration Level Is Rising…
EDITORS' CHOICE, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PHARMACY, USA, UTAH | HEALTHY | JANUARY 29, 2021
It’s a couple of days before New Year’s, and our pharmacy has a ton of requests to doctors from everyone trying to get their prescriptions refilled before the new year starts. My coworker is telling us about a phone call she’s just had with a patient.

Coworker #1 : “Oh, man, he was mad. He wanted a refill and the prescription is expired. We’ve already sent three or four requests to the doctor, but they haven’t responded yet. I don’t know what else he wanted me to do! I can’t make your doctor refill your [medication for erectile dysfunction]!”

Coworker #2 : “I guess his year isn’t going out with a bang!”

Nope, Still Terrifying
BIZARRE, DENTIST, MARYLAND, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 28, 2021
My wife has had some persistent issues with gum infections ever since having an extremely severe jaw injury. It was probably about as bad as a jaw could be injured. Despite this, she had relatively minor scarring, and many people do not immediately realize that she has major injuries just when looking at her.

The two of us go to the dentist together, each with our own appointments. I just have a basic cleaning, but my wife will be having a root canal done. The dentist, who we have been going to for years now, has a new assistant. She finishes with me fairly quickly, just in time to witness the dentist go straight from talking to drilling into my wife’s tooth, without the use of any anesthetic whatsoever.

She is immediately horrified. I think the dentist decides to mess with her a bit, as he just tells her:

Dentist: “[Wife] is pretty tough. She can handle it.”

My wife responded with a thumbs-up.

The dentist initially just went back to work, but relented after a few seconds and let the assistant know that my wife actually had no use for local anesthetic for this because she’s actually already completely numb. The root canal was in her lower jaw. The jaw has a nerve running through the bone on each side, and her injury had completely destroyed these nerves, leaving a complete lack of any sensation from her lower jaw including gums, lower lip, and part of her cheeks and chin.