(Regrettably, our local university is the main reason that county STD rates are the second-highest in the state (the highest-ranking county is home to a naval base). Outbreaks are common and rather a grim joke with local healthcare providers. The county has purchased a new emergency radio system and one of their officers has arrived to train our staff on how to use the equipment.)
Instructor: “The great thing about this system is that it is linked to over two hundred towers, state-wide. This means that if you need to, you can communicate not only throughout the county, but with other jurisdictions as well. For example; let’s say you have to set up some kind of emergency clinic at the University for… I don’t know, what’s an epidemic that the students might experience there?”
Me: *without thinking* “Probably chlamydia.”
(My boss shushed me, but our director of nursing almost fell off her chair from laughing so hard.)
(I arrive at work an hour and a half early because I forgot what time I start. I decide to sit in the lobby and have lunch before my shift. I notice that the trash can is in dire need of being emptied and that the front counter is busier than usual. I start to tie the bag up, when a customer screeches at me.)
Customer: “What do you think you’re doing?”
Me: “Just changing the garbage, ma’am. It was full to overflowing and it was too busy for someone to leave their post and do it.”
Customer: “You don’t have to do that, young man! You’re not one of these dropouts that lives in their parent’s basements who can’t do anything better with their lives! What are you taking?”
Me: “I’m planning on becoming an licensed practical nurse. But, ma’am, I don’t just go to school. I work to pay my bills. As a matter of fact, I live in a condo my mother owns. She does not live with me, and I pay rent to her. I pay for my electricity, my Internet, and my heating. How do I earn the money for this, you ask?”
(At this point I remove my hat from my bag, put it on and remove my coat, revealing that I am dressed in my work uniform.)
Me: “I work here, taking whatever hours I can get. A student without anything on their resume will take any job they can. ”
(I point to one of my coworkers who is mopping the floors at the back of the store.)
Me: “She’s a neuroscience student. Just like me she has bills to pay. In the future, please remember that people who work in fast food are not always drop outs, but more often than not students trying to fund their education. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take out this trash, unless you would like me to help extract your foot from your mouth first.”
(Flustered and obviously embarrassed, the customer leaves the store in a hurry. My manager, who is also a classmate of mine, speaks with me once I return from the dumpsters.)
Manager: “Technically, you could be fired for badmouthing a customer while on the job like that.”
Me: “Technically, I’m not working right now! I haven’t clocked in, and my shift’s not for another half hour.”
Manager: “Well then, brave citizen, how does free apple pie sound?”
(I accepted, of course. You just don’t say no to free pie!)
(I am out to breakfast with some friends from work.)
Me: “Excuse me, do you know if the cook uses milk to make the omelets or just eggs?”
Waitress: “Just eggs. Are you allergic to milk?”
Me: “No, but I am lactose intolerant and I forgot to bring my meds.”
(We all order our food. However, after the waitress leaves, I overhear someone from the table next to us asking for a manager.)
Other Customer: *loudly* “I want to complain about that waitress. I heard her interrogating that poor woman about her personal medical issues! I’m a doctor and I know you can’t just ask people about things like that! It’s against the law! She could sue you!”
Me: *to the other customer* “Excuse me, before things get out of hand here, I’m the person she’s talking about. First of all, our waitress asked if I had an allergy to milk. It was a good question considering I made a point of asking if some of your foods have milk in it. If I was really allergic, the kitchen would have to take extra precautions to avoid anaphylaxis. Secondly, there’s no such law that I know of unless you’re talking about the laws in place to protect your private health information from being accessed by other people without your permission. I don’t see how those would apply in this case.”
Other Customer: “What the h*** are you talking about? What are you, some kind of lawyer, smarta**?”
My Friend: “No, ‘doctor,’ she’s some kind of nurse.”
(We all pulled out our hospital IDs. The “doctor” shut up after that. The manager thanked us for clearing things up and left, and our waitress gave us a free round of cheesecake with a free lactose-free muffin for me!)
Adorable Children, Medical Office, Nurse | Right | October 29, 2012
(My five-year-old son has received a serious injury to his eye. After a pediatrician recommends us to an eye doctor, we are referred to a specialist that works out of a university two hours away from home.)
Nurse: “These are all the contact numbers you should need. I also went online for some directions, and called ahead to let them know it should only be a few hours.”
Son: “I don’t want to.”
Nurse: “What’s the matter?”
Son: *visibly getting upset* “I’m scared.”
Nurse: “But you’ve been so brave this whole time! How about this: if you go see the new doctor, I’ll give you my phone number and you can call me if you get too upset, okay?”
(The nurse writes down her work extension and cell phone number on a piece of paper and adds it to my paperwork, insisting that I feel free to call if I have any problems or questions. My son stays calm all the way to the university and through the appointment with the specialist until we’re told he’s going to need surgery. Crying and upset, he begs me to call the nurse from the clinic.)
Me: *on the phone* “I’m so sorry to bother you, I know you’re still working, but he’s really upset and asked to talk to you.”
(I put the phone on speakerphone so my son, crying on the exam table, can hear.)
Nurse: “Hey, buddy! What’s wrong?”
Son: *crying* “The doctor here wants to give me surgery!”
Nurse: “There’s nothing wrong with that. It’ll make your eye all better. You’ll be able to see again, like we talked about.”
Son: “But I’m scared! It’s going to hurt!”
Nurse: “Of course it’s not going to hurt. That nice doctor wouldn’t hurt you!”
Son: “Have you been given surgeries?”
Nurse: “Yeah, kiddo, a few.”
Son: “And you came back to life?”
Nurse: “Every single time.”
Son: “Promise?”
Nurse: “Swear.”
(My son has calmed down considerably throughout the conversation, and there’s not a dry eye in the room.)
Son: “Okay…”
Nurse: “See? I knew you were brave.”
Son: “Thank you! Love you!”
Nurse: *laughing* “Love you, too.”
(I thanked the nurse a thousand times, and she insisted I call her ASAP to let her know how the surgery went. Later that day, she texted us a picture of herself and her family with a ‘GET WELL SOON’ sign they made for my son!)
Awesome, Employees, Health & Body, Inspirational, Popular | Healthy Right | April 22, 2016
(This happened during what was one of the worst times in my life. I’ve just transferred to a new college and it is a rough transition. I am lonely, self-conscious, have about a million doubts about myself and my life. My anxiety has gotten so bad that I am literally sobbing in the doctor’s office just by attempting to discuss it with him. This man has been my whole family’s doctor for most of my life.)
Doctor: “I know you’re reluctant to try medication, a lot of people are, but sometimes it’s just brain chemistry. And seeing you here like this, hearing that you’ve already tried therapy, I just want to help you find something that will help you.”
Me: “I just don’t want that to mean that there’s something wrong with me.”
Doctor: “That’s not what this means. It means that you’re doing what you need to do in order to live a happy, healthy life. And if it doesn’t work for you, you can stop whenever you want. Look, there’s this new anti-depressant that’s still in trial stages but it’s doing really well and has minimal side effects. How about I give you some of the free samples and you just try it out?”
(I eventually, reluctantly, agreed to this. As I left, I was handed a cardboard box, definitely bigger than I’d anticipated for just a few free samples. It turned out that my doctor had given me ten bottles of the stuff, all free samples, so that I would have enough that I could take back to college with me if I decided to use it, plus some free samples of an allergy spray that he knew I sometimes had trouble affording, and a prescription for another anti-depressant just in case this one didn’t work for me. This doctor honestly saved me. I took those anti-depressants for just about a year and they worked. I don’t take them anymore; I’ve changed enough in mind and body and lifestyle that I don’t need them now. But I never would have gotten to this point without them. My doctor took the time and effort to think of me as a person as well as a patient and went the extra mile to make sure I’d be ok. THANK YOU. This, to me, is what all doctors should strive to be.)
Hall of Fame, Inspirational, Kind Strangers, Money, Pets & Animals, Popular | Healthy | April 5, 2016
(When I was 19 I had just moved into my first apartment. I got a kitten from a friend’s cat that had kittens. I suffered from severe (suicidal) depression at the time, barely leaving the house or doing anything. Once I had a kitten to care for, I had a lot more motivation to care for myself. It was a huge step in getting myself into therapy and recovering. No matter how bad things got, I always had my baby kitty who always loved me. She lives with me for 18 years in reasonably good health but eventually, her kidneys give out and it is her time. Unfortunately, I have just lost my job and we are pretty broke. As we are long time, reliable clients of the vet, they agree to let us pay in installments. I sell some crafts I make online so I make social media posts promoting my craft site to help cover the costs of my baby kitty’s euthanasia and cremation. About a week later of stressful, sad job-hunting and desperate crafting, I get a phone call from the vet
Vet: ” I have some news for you”
Me: *confused* “Okay…”
Vet: “Someone called in and anonymously paid your bill.”
Me: “What…?”
Vet: “They made us swear to keep it anonymous, but your entire vet bill has been cleared up. You don’t have to worry about it anymore.”
Me: *sobbing uncontrollably*
(I don’t think I will ever be able to thank that anonymous donor enough. My kitty was a literal lifesaver. Losing her (even after having her for 18 years) was crushing to me. I worried the stress was going to push me back into the depression again, but this act of kindness brought me back. Thank you.)
Call Center, Dentist, Doctor/Physician, Great Stuff | Healthy Right | October 22, 2009
(We sell dental surgical products and sometimes have to give instructions on their usage. A doctor calls in from the operating room and has me on speakerphone while they’re operating on a patient, who may or may not be under anesthesia.)
Doctor: “The screw is not going in. Which way do I turn it?”
Me: “Clockwise.”
Doctor: “Clockwise from above or below?”
Me: “If you are looking at the head of the screw, then clockwise… to the right.”
Doctor: “What do you mean to the right? Move the wrench to the right?”
Me: “As the screw turns, and you are looking at the head, the top part will go to the right.”
Doctor: “Okay, I think I got it.”
Me: “Good. Righty tighty, lefty loosey.”
Doctor: “What was that?”
Me: “Uh, righty tighty, lefty loosey? That’s one way to remember. You go to the right to tighten, and the left to loosen.”
Doctor: “Oh, I see. Righty tighty, lefty loosey!” *noise of wrench turning* “Righty tighty, lefty loosey. It’s working!”
Me: “Great. All finished?”
(The doctor suddenly speaks up much louder than before. It’s clear they’re not talking to me.)
Doctor: “You’re all done then!”
Patient: *in the distance* “Uh, thank you, doctor.”
Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Medical Office, Teenagers | Healthy Right | October 6, 2009
Me: Hello this is [Doctor’s Office]. How may I help you?”
Caller: “Help! I’ve sprouted a nipple on my forehead!”
(From the caller’s voice, I could tell that it was a female teenager.)
Me: “Excuse me? If this is a prank, I can report you–”
Caller: “No, this is not a prank! This morning I got up, and there was this huge, red lump on my forehead… and now I’ve poked it and this milk is coming out!”
Alcohol, Call Center, Emergency Services, Germany, Health & Body | Healthy Right | May 6, 2009
(Note: 1-1-2 is Germany’s version of 9-1-1.)
Me: “1-1-2, what’s your emergency?”
Caller: “Oh, my god! Help me! Help me!”
Me: “Calm down, please. Can you tell me what happened, if someone is hurt, and where you are?”
Caller: “I’m at home, and my brain stopped working!”
Me: “Your brain… stopped working? Sir, if your brain would stop working, you would be dead. Can you tell me exactly what happened? Are you bleeding?”
Caller: “No, no. But my brain stopped working! At least half of it! Oh, my god, will the other half stop working as well?! Will I die?! My wife was right! I can’t believe it!”
(At this point, I’m unsure what to do. The man is really in a state of panic, but sounds otherwise fine.)
Me: “Sir, is your wife at home? Can I speak to her? If not, please tell me exactly what you did when your… brain stopped working.”
Caller: “I watched soccer! And drank beer! My wife always told me ‘When you don’t stop that crap, your brain will stop working’ and now it did! I was sitting on the couch and turned my head to look at the clock and suddenly I can’t move my head anymore because the left side of my brain stopped working! Help!”
Me: “Sir, it sounds like you only cricked your neck!”
(I start describing him what a cricked neck feels like and he agrees that this is indeed his problem and that he’ll see a doctor in the morning. I’m about to end the call, when…)
Caller: “Hey, dude…”
Me: “Yes?”
Caller: “Is she right?”
Me: “Who?”
Caller: “My wife. You seem to know a lot about medicine and stuff, so can my brain really stop working from watching too much soccer and drinking beer?”
Me: “Well, alcohol is known for indeed killing brain cells when you drink too much, but you won’t–”
Caller: “Oh, my god! Thank you! I thought she was only kidding me, but when you say it, then I’ll stop! Thank you so much for saving my life! Thank you!”
Emergency Services, Health & Body, Medication, Respect Your Elders | Healthy Right | August 26, 2008
(An elderly lady falls down in her apartment and has a cut on her wrist.)
Coworker: “Ma’am, I am afraid, we have to go to the hospital. You will need stitches for that cut and an X-ray to make sure your wrist isn’t broken.”
Patient: “No, I don’t wanna go. Just give me a shot and it will be okay.”
Coworker: “You mean for the pain?”
Patient: “No, so it will heal!”
Coworker: “Ma’am, I’m afraid we don’t have this kind of medication.”
Patient: “But it worked last time!”
Coworker: “Someone gave you a shot and the wrist healed by itself?”
Patient: “No, my sugar was too high and they gave me a shot and everything was okay!”
Coworker: “I see… Well, I can’t fool you; you know this stuff! Listen, I can give you a shot for the broken wrist, but this counteracts the anti-sugar medicine. So every time your sugar is too high, you can never get a shot again.”
Patient: “Never ever?”
Coworker: “Never ever again…”
Patient: “So why didn’t you just say so in the first place?”
Coworker: “Well, not every patient has such an understanding of medicine as you, so I always try to keep it simple.”
Diễn Đàn Người Việt Hải Ngoại. Tự do ngôn luận, an toàn và uy tín. V́ một tương lai tươi đẹp cho các thế hệ Việt Nam hăy ghé thăm chúng tôi, hăy tâm sự với chúng tôi mỗi ngày, mỗi giờ và mỗi giây phút có thể. VietBF.Com Xin cám ơn các bạn, chúc tất cả các bạn vui vẻ và gặp nhiều may mắn.
Welcome to Vietnamese American Community, Vietnamese European, Canadian, Australian Forum, Vietnamese Overseas Forum. Freedom of speech, safety and prestige. For a beautiful future for Vietnamese generations, please visit us, talk to us every day, every hour and every moment possible. VietBF.Com Thank you all and good luck.
News
Library
Technology
Giải Trí
Portals
Tin Sốt
Home
