The Wannabe Mayor And His Spokesperson, Unmasked

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 8
Assisted Living, England, Health & Body, Revolting, UK | Healthy | October 5, 2020
I work in a specialist nursing home for people with severe and enduring mental health problems. A female resident with South East Asian origins enjoys cooking and offers to make traditional chai tea for staff, under supervision.

Whilst being assisted by a support worker whose English is not great, she adds more than fifty teaspoons of sugar to the pan, as well as spices and other ingredients.

Me: “This tea tastes really good!”

Those of us who don’t mind the sweetness enjoy it.

Then, the support worker tells a colleague about part of the cooking process.

Support Worker: “She just crushed the walnuts by crunching them in her mouth and then spitting them into the pan.”

She hadn’t realised that people would find this revolting!

We agreed that when she made it again, she needed to use appropriate equipment to do that task. Thankfully, the support worker saw the sense of this.

I was not too concerned about this, given how many motorway service stations I ate in during my childhood in the 1970s, where I probably ingested far worse!

Related:
If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 7
If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 6
If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 5
If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 4
If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 3

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This Tech Feliway From Her Studies
Drugs, Kansas, Stupid, USA, Vet | Healthy | October 1, 2020
Feliway is a product that sends out cat pheromones. It’s used for calming them down, helping them adjust to change, or preventing urinating and defecating anywhere except the litter box.

Me: “Hi, do you sell Feliway here?”

Vet Tech: “No, I don’t believe in drugs.”

Me: “Feliway isn’t a drug; it’s cat pheromones.”

Vet Tech: “What are pheromones?”

Me: “…”

Luckily, another vet tech understood what I wanted and got it for me. I heard her trying to explain cat pheromones to the other tech, who had a blank look on her face.

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 7
Coffee Shop, Ignoring & Inattentive, Jerk, UK | Right | July 26, 2020
I work as a cafe barista on a UK campus. One morning, a customer who is infamous among the staff for being rude comes by and orders a latte. The transaction goes on normally, and she waits for her drink while I prepare it. When she collects her drink, she decides to add syrup to it.

Customer: “I want to add chai syrup to my drink.”

Me: “Sure thing, I just need to put the request through the till.”

Customer: “Okay, no problem; I can pay. How much is it?”

Me: “That will be 50p.”

Customer: “How much?”

Me: “50 pence.”

Customer: “No, I want four extra pumps of chai syrup. How much is that?”

Me: *In bewilderment* “It will cost you 50 pence.”

Customer: “No, I come here all the time! One, two, three, four! Do you understand?!”

I reply in a raised voice but trying my best not to shout.

Me: “Yeah, it’s gonna cost 50p!”

This goes on for a while. Luckily, it’s a quiet morning so there aren’t any other customers around. Finally, she takes out her card and asks one last time.

Customer: “Fine, I just want my drink! How much is it?!”

Me: *Pause* “It’s 50p.”

I add the syrup and give her the drink. By this time, my colleague has heard the commotion and arrived to hear her parting shot.

Customer: “You don’t speak English, by any chance?”

After the customer has left:

Colleague: “How did you not hit her?!”

I am not from the UK and don’t have a local accent, but English is my native language and I haven’t had a single problem communicating with anybody while in the UK. The customer is also not local, most probably from an Eastern European country based on her accent.

He Was First… To Be An A**hole
Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Maryland, Movie Theater, Politics, USA | Right | November 9, 2021
It is 2018. I am working concessions at a movie theater. I’m stationed at the popcorn, which is the first thing you encounter at this theater. A man walks into the concession stand area but he stays back as he’s talking on the phone. I smile and give him a nod to show that I see him and am ready to help him whenever he’s ready. He doesn’t acknowledge me and continues talking for about five minutes before a woman walks up that wants popcorn. She waits a moment to see if he’s going to order but he keeps talking on the phone.

Me: “Sir, I just want to make sure whether or not you’re ready before I help this next customer?”

He doesn’t respond, just kind of turns to the side and continues his conversation. The woman and I shrug, and I go about helping her. She is very pleasant and nice to chat with. She has barely finished walking away when this man steps up and smacks the counter before starting to rant at me.

Customer: “Are you kidding me?! I’ve been standing there for more than five minutes and you help her before me?”

This man is a white male and the woman is black. It’s important because the way he said “her” was as if he was referring to some disgusting being.

Me: “Sir, I apologize if there was some confusion, but you didn’t seem ready to order. When you first approached my area, I smiled at you and nodded to acknowledge you since you were on the phone. I stood here for at least five minutes while you stood back and continued your phone conversation. Not once did you try to order or even indicate you were ready!”

Customer: “Well, I was here first!”

Me: “I understand, sir. That’s why when the other customer came up, I asked you if you were ready. You chose not to respond and turned away from me, so I had no choice but to help the waiting customer. I’m sorry you feel that was unfair but I’m not going to make another customer wait just because you chose to ignore me. Now, would you like to order some popcorn?”

He huffs and puffs for a few seconds before ordering a large popcorn. About ten minutes later, he returns, one of my managers following behind looking exhausted. As they approach the popcorn station, this man proclaims:

Customer: “That’s her! That’s the girl that was discriminating against me!”

Me: “Excuse me?!”

Customer: “She saw my shirt and discriminated against me!”

He is wearing a jacket that is zipped more than halfway up and I have no idea what shirt he is wearing. I turn to my manager.

Me: “I haven’t seen his shirt. His jacket was zipped like that the whole time; you can check the cameras.”

Manager: *To the customer* “Why do you think she was discriminating against you based on your shirt?”

He yanks the zipper down to reveal a homemade shirt emblazoned with:

Shirt: “TRUMP 2020! F*** THE LIBTARDS!”

Me: *Remaining stone-faced* “Sir, this is the first time I’ve been able to see your shirt. I really don’t care what you wear; have a great day.”

I told my manager I was taking my lunch break and walked in the back as the customer continued to rant about how “YOU F****** LIBERALS JUST WANT TO CENSOR EVERYONE! F*** YOU, LIBERAL B****!”

He was escorted out, without a refund, by security!

Let’s Hope This Isn’t A Repeat Problem
Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pharmacy, Stupid, UK | Healthy | December 21, 2020
Our general practitioner sends any prescriptions straight to our local pharmacy for us to pick up. For repeat prescriptions, we pop the request into the GP and then the medications are ready for pickup three days later.

Today, I have a telephone appointment and my GP prescribes some medication to start taking straight away and sends the prescription over to the pharmacy. I dropped a repeat prescription request into the GP two days ago, but I know those meds should not be ready yet.

Me: “I’m here to pick up a prescription for [My Name].”

The pharmacist assistant checks the computer.

Pharmacist Assistant: “I’ve got a few different items on here for you. Did you put in a repeat?”

Me: “Yes, but I don’t mind if they’re not ready. I just need [medication].”

Pharmacist Assistant: “Did you see your GP today?”

Me: “Yes, I had an appointment about two hours ago; he said he’d send the prescription over.”

Pharmacist Assistant: “Okay, hold on.”

She goes to speak to the pharmacist.

Pharmacist: “[My Name]? Your repeat prescription has only just been sent to us. It takes three days.”

Me: “Yes, I know. I saw my GP today and he gave me [medication]; that’s what I need to pick up.”

Pharmacist: “We can’t issue your prescriptions today, I’m afraid. We haven’t processed them yet.”

Me: “I don’t want my repeat prescriptions today. I’ll come back for them. I just want [medication].”

Pharmacist: “Your repeat will be ready tomorrow. If you’d like to come back we can issue everything together.”

Me: “Look, I spoke to my GP today, he sent the prescription for [medication] today, and he wants me to start taking it today. Can I please just pick up [medication]?”

Pharmacist: “You don’t want to wait for the repeat to be ready?”

Me: “No. I want [medication]. I do not want to wait for the repeat. I will come back tomorrow for the repeat. I want [medication] today. Can I pick up [medication], just [medication], only [medication], right now? And I will pick up my repeat tomorrow!”

Pharmacist: “Uh… let me get that for you.”

A few minutes later, the assistant calls me over.

Pharmacist Assistant: “[My Name]? I’ve got a prescription for you here. Would you like to pick it up now or add it to your repeat for pickup tomorrow?”

Me: “Really?!”

That’s Not Innie Problem At All
Connecticut, Funny, Pets & Animals, USA, Vet | Healthy | December 19, 2020
This happens many years ago with my first cat. I’ve already had her as part of the family for several years, but when I move out on my own, she becomes my sole responsibility.

One day, I am rubbing her belly like usual and I feel a strange lump. I can’t figure out what it could be, so I call the vet in order to have her checked out, worried it might be a tumor. I take her in the next day and the vet looks her over.

Me: “Is she going to be okay?”

Vet: *Giggles* “Yes, she’s totally fine. That’s her belly button.”

And that’s how I found out my cat had an outie!

A Most Unfulfilling Dentist
Bad Behavior, Dentist, Liars/Scammers, New York, USA | Healthy | December 17, 2020
I’ve had two cavities in the past. Both were found and filled by the company dentist, but the procedure left me thoroughly afraid of having another cavity. Alas, three or four years after I leave the company…

Dentist: “Oh, no. You’ve got two cavities in your molars. I’ll have to fill them up.”

Me: “S***. I hate getting cavities filled.”

Dentist: “Yeah, I see that you’ve had another pair filled at some point. Don’t worry. It’ll all be over soon.”

Me: *Sighs* “Agreed. Let’s get the torture done quickly.”

Ten minutes later:

Dentist: “There. All done. I’ve also touched up your old cavities.”

Me: “Wait, what? I barely felt a thing.”

Dentist: “Indeed, you have one of the best tolerances to discomfort I’ve ever seen.”

I study my teeth in a mirror

Me: “Wow. I can’t see the fillings anymore.”

My molars look completely natural now. She even covered up the big patches of grey metal from the last time I got cavities filled.

Me: “Thanks a lot. This was way better than the last time I got my cavities filled.”

Dentist: “No problem. What happened the last time?”

Me: “It felt like my teeth were being sandblasted last time. Is that normal?”

Dentist: “No, it is not.”

She then proceeded to tell me that all the pain and suffering I experienced the last time I got my cavities filled shouldn’t have occurred. Granted, there was some pain and discomfort this time, but it was far less.

It soon became apparent that the company dentist I saw for my cavities used low-quality filling and outdated and cheap equipment and was apparently either ham-fisted or determined to make me suffer. He also overcharged my insurance for the filling.

I got rather angry and wanted to submit a complaint, so I went to some of my old coworkers and told them what I found. They then realised that he’d been giving us inferior treatments while charging us way more. And he didn’t make much of an effort to be gentle with us. He didn’t get caught, as most of us weren’t really knowledgeable about dentistry, and the price he charged us was technically less than market price, but it was still more than what the inferior service he gave us cost.

We were about to take legal action against him, but then the global outbreak happened and the spreading disease got him before we did. The running joke between all of us later was that the disease was a kill stealer.

Her Couchside Manner Needs Some Work
Jerk, Medical Office, Nurses, USA | Healthy | December 15, 2020
I’m afraid of needles and have a tendency to pass out immediately after getting bloodwork done. However, I’m normally okay if I’m able to lay down during the bloodwork and stay laying down for a few minutes afterward, taking it slow.

It’s 2015 and I’m a teenager. I am being admitted to the hospital for the night and they have to do bloodwork. I explain everything to the nurse and ask to lay down. I’m in a private waiting room and literally sitting on a couch.

Nurse: “No, that’s not allowed. You’re just exaggerating; you will be fine.”

She then proceeds to do the bloodwork while I am sitting on the couch. Then, she tells me that she needs a urine sample immediately after pulling out the needle.

Me: “Can I please have a few minutes to stay sitting and to drink some water?”

Nurse: “No, I need the sample now.”

She then proceeded to lead me to the OTHER side of the hospital, even though there were closer bathrooms. I could feel myself getting dizzy and lightheaded, and as soon as I got inside the bathroom and locked the door, I sat down on the ground. I don’t remember whether I passed out or not.

Bottom line: people know their bodies and their needs, so listen to them!

These Paramedics Never Cry Uncle
Australia, Emergency Services, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Home, Wild & Unruly | Healthy | December 13, 2020
A friend who used to live on my street moved out rather suddenly and then moved house again quite a bit thereafter. It was a little strange, but eventually, we found out that her parents divorced and the housing situation was a bit screwed up because it’s Australia and our welfare system is a bit… stupid.

Her dad has finally settled into a place more permanently and decides to host New Year’s. My friend invites me along, and despite having not really met that side of her family, I agree to come and join in the festivities.

On arrival, I’m introduced to an uncle who is probably only five to seven years our senior at best and who has been drinking rather heavily since yesterday afternoon. He gets to chatting and we learn that he has only recently recovered from a nasty car accident that shattered his legs. He’s all healed up and ready to celebrate the New Year, loudly proclaiming to all who’ll listen that next year will be his year since everything has gone so wrong in this one. I’m sympathetic to the poor guy; the accident was 100% not his fault and it was a horrendous and intense path to recovery. With a small child in his care, I can only imagine how hard the recovery must have been, so I don’t begrudge his drinking. Out of everyone present, he probably has the best reason to be overindulging, and he isn’t an angry drunk by any stretch of the imagination.

The night wears on, and we are about an hour away from midnight. The local sports grounds is hosting a fireworks display, and from the backyard, we will have a great seat for the show. Suddenly, the drunken uncle staggers over to the trampoline and claps enthusiastically at the kids all doing little tricks. One of those kids asks uncle if he ever did tricks and the uncle puffs with pride and declares that he used to be part of his high school’s gymnastics team. The kids all ooh and ahh in admiration, and it isn’t long before they vacate the trampoline and start coaxing [Uncle] to show them some tricks. Bad idea.

He climbs up and starts to bounce. My friend’s dad rushes over and tries to convince the uncle not to do anything silly, but [Uncle] is too caught up in nostalgia and alcohol to listen to reason and decides that trampolining couldn’t be that much different from doing flips on a gym floor. He then jumps super high and starts a backflip; sadly, he isn’t very well in control of the bounce and the trajectory sends him off the mark and he hits the ground hard. There is a sickening, cracking crunch on impact, the kind of sound that reverberates in your teeth and reminds you of nails on a chalkboard.

The ambulance is called immediately and they arrive extremely quickly. They pull up and rush over to [Uncle], who is still very much in a good mood; apparently, he didn’t feel a thing and has spent the time waiting trying to convince us all he is fine and attempting to stand up. The paramedics assess his injuries and gather information from the surrounding family, hand the poor guy a painkiller, and set up a stretcher. Just as they heave him up to slide the stretcher under his prone form, another horrible crunch is heard, and the paramedics lower him carefully to the ground again. A female paramedic feels about his waist and hips and realises that there is more than likely some pelvic bone damage and asks the host for a set of scissors.

[Uncle] is still happy as a clam and suddenly seems to register that there is a beautiful young lass attending to his pants line and becomes very flirty. The paramedic allows the flirting as uncle isn’t being belligerent and it seems to be keeping him relatively still while my friend’s dad runs for the scissors.

Uncle: “So, what’s a sweet young thing like you need scissors for? I hope we aren’t doing surgery here.” *Laughs* “Though, if it’s you, I guess I wouldn’t mind so much. You’re lovely!”

Female Paramedic: *Laughs* “Oh, no need to worry, sir. No surgery here in the grass. I just need to see your hips a bit better in case there’s more damage we couldn’t see through your clothes. I hope you’re not attached to these shorts, though; we need the scissors to cut them off.”

[Uncle] suddenly starts blushing madly, and the flirty tone is now a little fearful and embarrassed.

Uncle: “Oh, um… It’s just, well, it’s a rather unpleasant job… that is… would your partner here approve of removing my pants?! And… and there are children here! Oh, God! Someone take the children away; I don’t want to be a flasher!!”

The male paramedic lost it, and through his laughter, he assured [Uncle] that it wasn’t a problem, that they were both trained professionals, and that the kids would be fine as they weren’t planning to cut them off in full view of spectators. [Uncle] was blushing and stammering objections the entire time as a screen was set up and his pants were removed in moderate privacy.

Finally, they got [Uncle] loaded into the ambulance. The female paramedic was gathering some last bits of information from the family and organising a support person to ride along with them to the hospital. I couldn’t help but ask if this kind of thing was routine for New Year’s. The paramedic laughed and said that, sadly, it was their busiest time of year, but if it’s for someone like [Uncle], she didn’t mind so much. He’s lovely.

[Uncle] just blushed all the harder and covered himself more with the blankets piled on top of him. It was an exciting New Year’s, that’s for sure, and the timing was brilliant, as the ambulance pulling away coincided with the fireworks starting.

The poor guy had re-shattered the old injuries and done some rather significant damage to both hips and pelvic bone. I think he needed pins and plates, and unfortunately, the recovery was a lot longer this time around. It was not exactly the best way to ring in the New Year, but at least he had wonderful paramedics who possessed a great sense of both humour and duty of care.

Flu Right Over Their Head
Employees, Illinois, Instant Karma, Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | December 10, 2020
This happens during a year when the flu shot isn’t particularly effective. I get the shot, but I still come down with the flu a couple of months later. My doctor has called in Tamiflu, and I drag myself over to the pharmacy to pick it up, along with a giant Gatorade and some painkillers. The pharmacist is ringing me out.

Pharmacist: “Tamiflu, huh?”

Me: “Yep.”

Pharmacist: *Smirks* “That’s why you get your flu shot, dear. You’ll get it next year, won’t you?”

Me: “Actually, I got the flu shot two months ago in this pharmacy. I’m pretty sure you gave it to me. Now, can I have my medicine without the commentary?”

The pharmacist’s face turned red and he completed my transaction silently.

Russian To Conclusions
College & University, Doctor/Physician, Impossible Demands, Medical Office, Texas, USA | Healthy | December 7, 2020
I’m a college student who’s been accepted to a Russian study-abroad program. The next major step for me is to get a visa, which requires one unusual step: a negative HIV test. Russia has a major HIV issue, and one way they try to manage the spread is by restricting visas to people who test negative for it. So, I call my campus clinic to set up a free HIV screening test.

Receptionist: “Hello, this is [Campus Clinic]. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hello! I need to set up an appointment for an HIV test, please.”

Receptionist: “Oh, an STD panel? Sure, I can set you up for that.”

Me: “Sorry, no, just an HIV test.”

Receptionist: “Um…” *Sounding confused* “Okay, are you sure? You don’t want any other tests?”

Me: “Yes, just the HIV test, please.”

Receptionist: “All right…”

She sets me up for an appointment, sounding a little miffed throughout the rest of the exchange. I go in for my appointment the next day.

Doctor: “Good afternoon! So you’re here for an HIV test?”

Me: “Yes, that’s right. I do get a little dizzy sometimes when my blood gets drawn, though, just a heads-up.”

Doctor: “Ah, is that why you only wanted the one test? Because, you know, it’s a good idea to get a full STD panel.”

Me: “Hmm? Oh, no, I don’t need a full STD panel. I only need the HIV one.”

Doctor: “There are a lot of other diseases you’re at risk for when you’re sexually active. The responsible thing to do, if you’re worried you may have been exposed to something, is to get tested for everything.”

Me: “Oh, I’m not worried. I’m a virgin. I just want to go to Russia.”

Doctor: “What?”

I explained everything to the doctor and we had a bit of a laugh. And I got my visa!

None Of This Qualifies As Helpful
Colorado, Denver, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Nurses, USA | Healthy | December 5, 2020
I send an email to my doctor’s office, through the HMO system, detailing my symptoms and asking for advice.

Nurse’s Email: “Dear Mrs. [My Name], I am [Nurse] working with your doctor. I have read your email. I am not qualified to respond to this email. Someone else will get in touch with you.”

When I stop laughing, I call the official HMO Medical Advice Line and list my symptoms.

Medical Advice Person: “Do you want a [widely-spreading illness] test?”

Me: “I don’t think so, but I’m not medically trained, so…”

Medical Advice Person: “Oh, I’m not medically trained, either! I just answer the phones.”

I gave up, had some chicken soup, and went to bed.

Dental Health Isn’t Their Only Area Of Expertise
Awesome, Dentist, Inspirational, North Carolina, USA | Healthy | December 4, 2020
I do not like shots. I don’t faint while getting them, but I turn into a nervous wreck. I also have a lowered pain tolerance, which doesn’t help matters.

I have to get a cavity filled. The first time this happened, I was knocked out since, as I said, I hate needles. Between that filling and this one, my periodontist pulled my last three baby teeth. He’s really good at what he does, so it didn’t hurt. Because of that, I decide to go with the novocaine shot.

I am told beforehand by my parents and other people that there’ll be pressure. I don’t expect much out of it. But I am still a nervous wreck when the day arrives. My dentist knows this and genuinely reassures me.

I shut my eyes. They warn me before the needle goes in, and when it does, I start screaming my head off. I’m not crying, just screaming from unexpected pain probably heightened by nerves.

Someone wordlessly squeezes my hand until I calm down. The rest of the procedure goes without incident, though I am on edge the whole time. I apologize to the dentist and hygienists afterward for screaming.

Dentist & Hygienists: “Don’t worry about it.”

Then, this exchange happens afterward.

Me: “Mom, did you come back and hold my hand?”

Mom: “No? Dad and I heard you screaming, but we didn’t come back.”

It was at that moment that I realized one of the hygienists held my hand. So, nameless hygienist, thank you so much for helping me.

Another Exhibit In The Case Of “Why Nurses Should Rule The World”
Austria, Awesome, Hospital, Inspirational, Nurses, Vienna | Healthy | December 3, 2020
My parents are with my severely disabled sister who is being prepped for an operation. We take care of her at home and have a live-in nurse, but she still ends up in the hospital every few months, so the nurses are quite familiar with my family.

Nurse: “Would you like to remove your daughter’s nail polish?”

Mother: “Is it really necessary?”

Nurse: “Well, yes. We need to be able to see her nails during the operation to make sure she’s getting enough oxygen.”

Mother: “Oh, I see. It’s only that my other daughter painted her nails before going to college, and she won’t be back home for months. She went all the way to America and we can’t afford to bring her back every time [Sister] is hospitalized.”

Nurse: “Ach, I’m very sorry.”

She makes small talk with my parents while removing the nail polish. There are no comments about how my sister wouldn’t understand or even notice the nail polish, just reassuring chatter.

When they wheeled my sister back after the operation, my mother broke down in tears; they’d repainted my sister’s nails. When my mother told me about it, I teared up, too.

I still think of that nurse’s kindness — how she must’ve left the hospital to get nail polish of a similar shade and then painted my sister’s tiny nails. It sounds like such a small thing, but it was so completely outside her job scope and so sweet of her. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

We’re Expecting A Baby! But It Could Be A Velociraptor…
Canada, Doctor/Physician, Manitoba, Medical Office, Winnipeg, Wordplay | Healthy | December 2, 2020
I’m pregnant with my second daughter. My general practitioner is very nice but has a little trouble with English. He sends me for an ultrasound and this conversation happens at our next visit.

General Practitioner: “I have results from your ultrasound here.”

Me: “How does it look?”

General Practitioner: “You are having a monster.”

Me: *Horrified* “WHAT?”

General Practitioner: “Yes. Very big baby. Probably ten pounds.”

Me: “Oh… Thank goodness.”

I probably should have told him that “monster” is NOT the word to use when describing a baby-to-be.

This Hospital Is Really Going Down The Toilet
Hospital, Jerk, Northern Ireland, Patients | Healthy | December 1, 2020
When I am a student, I take a summer job working as a temporary admin person in a local hospital. The first week or so involves just sitting in a file room sorting through old files, but then I am taken off this job and put on the outpatients’ reception, as the regular receptionist is going on holiday.

A couple of days into my stint as receptionist, one of the medical secretaries comes to see me.

Secretary: “[Gastroenterologist] is off sick today with gastroenteritis and his clinic has therefore been cancelled. I’ve phoned all his patients and told them, but one or two slipped through the net due to their contact details being out of date. If any patients do turn up for [Gastroenterologists]’s clinic, please explain that the doctor was off sick, apologise for the inconvenience, reassure them that they will be given a replacement appointment when the doctor returns to work, and then try to update their contact details.”

The first couple of patients who arrive for this clinic are really understanding. They accept my apology, acknowledge that “these things happen,” and happily allowed me to take their up-to-date contact details. Then, I have THIS patient.

She is an older lady, probably in her early to mid-seventies, and she turns up with her daughter. She hands me her letter, and when I see she’s arrived for the gastroenterology clinic, I begin my usual spiel.

Me: “Ah, I’m very sorry, but we’ve actually had to cancel the clinic today. The doctor has phoned in sick, so he’ll not be back to work for a couple of days at least.”

Daughter: “Oh, dear!”

Her mother looks crestfallen. I apologise again for the inconvenience, reassure her that we’ll be giving her a replacement appointment as soon as the doctor is back to work, and explain that the reason we didn’t tell her about the cancellation was that we were unable to get hold of her. She gives me her up-to-date address and telephone number, which I put in her file, and then she starts complaining about being badly treated.

Woman: “I don’t understand how you people can do this to me! I’m an elderly lady! I can’t just travel up and down to the hospital for appointments!”

Me: *Staying calm* “Yes, I really do understand. To be honest, if I was in your position, I’d be upset, too, but unfortunately, there isn’t anything else we can do.”

The daughter still looks completely calm.

Daughter: “We’re getting another appointment though, right?”

I reassure her that her mother WILL be getting another appointment because it isn’t her fault the clinic was cancelled and it is up to us to make sure she gets the treatment she needs. The daughter seems satisfied, so she thanks me for being so understanding and turns to her mother.

Daughter: “Let’s go, Mum.”

The elderly lady turns to walk away and then changes her mind and stops. She turns to face me again.

Woman: “So [Gastroenterologist] is off sick today, is he?”

Me: “Yes, unfortunately, he is.”

She looks around and then leans in close to me and screams.

Woman: “WELL, HE F****** DESERVES IT!”

And she stormed out!

I worked in the reception for another two weeks and then was moved on to other duties. I really enjoyed working in the hospital, and years later, I still vividly remember this elderly lady leaning forward to scream, “WELL, HE F****** DESERVES IT!” all because her clinic was cancelled due to illness

I Just Can’t Wait For You To Stab Me With A Needle!
Children, Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Medical Office, New Jersey, USA | Healthy | November 30, 2020
When my son is seven years old, I move to a new town. The school system has some different regulations for vaccines than where we have just come from. As it turns out, my son needs a shot before joining school in the new town. Unfortunately, my son is extremely needle-phobic. I have previously assisted holding him still in instances where he needed a shot or stitches. I know, as a nurse and a mom, that what needs to be done needs to be done.

As I am new to the area and do not have a pediatrician yet, I ask the school for the name of the school doctor. The following happens when my son and I arrive at his appointment for his shot.

Me: *To the receptionist* “Hi, I’m [My Name] and this is [Son]. We are here for his [shot].”

Receptionist: “Sure, have a seat in exam room one. Someone will be with you shortly.”

Me: “Thank you.”

[Son] and I wait for a few minutes. He knows he is there for a shot and starts to get a bit anxious. I do my best to distract him and calm him down. Soon, the doctor arrives in the room.

Doctor: “Good afternoon, ma’am, [Son]. So, you’re here for a [shot]?”

Me: “Yes, we are.”

Doctor: “Okay, I’ll get that ready for you and I’ll be back in a minute.”

The doctor leaves the room and arrives back a few minutes later with the needle and syringe on a tray.

Doctor: “All right, so here we are.” *Addresses my son directly* “So, [Son], are you ready for your shot now?”

My jaw drops; I cannot believe what I just heard. Why would you ever ask a child if they are ready to receive a shot? My son immediately indicates that he is not ready.

Doctor: “Okay, I’ll give you a few minutes. I’ll be back.”

I sit trying to calm my son as he grows increasingly anxious. Twenty minutes later, the doctor returns.

Doctor: “All right, big guy, are you ready yet?”

Son: “No.”

Doctor: “Well, then, you just let me know when you are.”

The doctor leaves the room again. I am so shocked that I am not able to verbalize my thoughts. My son begins to panic. He is wringing his hands and pulling at his hair. It is difficult to watch. Imagine a needle-phobic seven-year-old being told that he is the one who has to actually ask to be given a shot. He just isn’t going to be able to do it.

Another twenty minutes go by before the doctor returns.

Doctor: “So, [Son], do you want me to give you that [shot] now?”

Me: “Okay, hold on, doc. We have been here for an hour, during which time you have been tormenting a young child by telling him he needs to ask to be given a shot. This ends now. I am the mother. I make the medical decisions, not him. He is getting this shot, and he is getting it now. Go get your receptionist and have her come in to help me hold him still. You have got him worked so into a frenzy that I cannot do it by myself. When she comes in here, this is going to go one, two, three: you give him the shot, we leave, this trauma is over. Go get her. Now.”

And that is what happened. To this day, I am still unhappy with myself that I allowed the torture to go on as long as it did. I later followed up with a complaint to the school system about their “school doctor.” I also put it in writing that for any school health screenings that might come up, that doctor was not to come within twenty feet of my son.

I Hear Peru Is Lovely This Time Of Year
Funny Names, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, Nurses, USA, Washington | Healthy | November 29, 2020
When my oldest son is a baby, I take him to the doctor for one of his early checkups. A nurse comes out to the lobby and announces a name.

Nurse: “Leema?”

My appointment time has passed, so I am paying close attention and wonder if that could be for my son, whose name is Liam. I don’t think anyone could mess it up that much, so I wait until the nurse has announced the name multiple times and no one has responded.

Finally:

Me: “Do you mean Liam?”

She looks at the paper.

Nurse: “No, it’s Leema.”

I figure I was wrong and she continues to call out “Leema” a few more times. Finally, she comes up to me.

Nurse: “What name did you say earlier?”

Me: “It’s Liam.”

It was for us. She was quite a scatterbrain; in the following years I had a few more kids and took them all to the same doctor, and that nurse was always a little different. I still sometimes call my son Leema.

They Don’t Pussyfoot With Pet Safety
Health & Body, Impossible Demands, Pharmacy, Reddit | Healthy | CREDIT: deadeyes2019 | November 28, 2020
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

My girlfriend has a cat, and I’m allergic to it; I get incredibly itchy. I treat these allergies with promethazine, and it works perfectly.

I queue up at the pharmacy, and it comes to my turn to order.

Me: “Hi, could I get the [Promethazine Brand], please?”

Dispenser: “Of course. Can I ask what you’re using it for, sir?”

Me: “My cat allergies.”

Dispenser: *Frowning slightly* “Excuse me for a moment.”

She walks to the back and I can see her discussing something with the pharmacist. Then, she returns.

Dispenser: “I’m sorry, sir; we can’t sell you this if you are going to give it to your cat.”

I am slightly taken aback by this and try not to laugh.

Me: “Sorry, I meant it’s for my allergies to cats.”

We both laughed, and she jokingly claimed that it had been a long day.

That brand even has a cat on the packaging here in England.

Nothing’s Warmer Than These Nurses’ Hearts
Awesome, Family & Kids, Hospital, Inspirational, Nurses, USA | Healthy | November 27, 2020
When my younger brother is born, he contracts an infection from a nurse that was sick with a cold when she delivered him. As such, he has to stay in the NICU for a couple of weeks. My mother cannot stay in the hospital with him due to having my two-year-old self at home.

My brother is very snuggly as a baby; he loves being held and nestles his head closer to the person holding him. Because of this, he becomes a favorite among the NICU nurses. Naturally, the nurses hold him a lot and pass him around so each gets a turn with the snuggly baby.

One day, when my mother is visiting, she finds out through this exchange.

Mom approaches the NICU.

Nurse: “Quick! Put him back! The mother is coming!”

My mother hears this and smiles instantly; she had been worried that her newborn wasn’t getting enough attention.

Mom: *Walking in the room* “Oh, you don’t have to put him back when I come. I have a toddler at home so I can’t be here as much as I’d like to be, and I’ve been worried since I’m not here to hold him as much as he needs to be. I’m actually relieved to know that he’s getting enough attention.”

The nurses’ faces lit up, and they started to be less secretive about their cuddle sessions, gladly handing him to my mom whenever she was able to visit

A Cool-Headed Manager Turneth Away Wrath
Instant Karma, Jerk, Pharmacy, Reddit | Healthy | CREDIT: rainbownator96 | November 26, 2020
I’m working the drive-thru at a pharmacy when an older patient who has occasionally been a handful pulls up. She has two prescriptions to fill and she hands me an empty tube of name-brand hydrocortisone cream.

Patient: “Can you get me another tube of this, too, please?”

Normally, we’re supposed to encourage patients to call ahead for curbside pickup, but we are slow and I am feeling nice. I leave the pharmacy, pick up the same tube, and add it to her order. The cream is about $6.

Later she comes in and starts complaining to the manager on duty.

Patient: “I bought this in the drive-thru earlier, and the employee there was rude to me, and she overcharged me! I demand that she be fired!”

She started generally causing a scene. Apparently, she wanted the store brand that was $3 cheaper. Surprisingly, after the manager reminded her that I was doing her a favor and I technically wasn’t supposed to leave the pharmacy to get over-the-counter products, she calmed down and left. I realize I could have been a bit friendlier, but I’m not a mind reader, lady.

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Sounds Like It’d Be Easier To Just Wait It Out
Funny, Impossible Demands, Insurance, USA, Wisconsin | Healthy | November 25, 2020
I help people sign up for Medicare insurance plans and answer questions, whether they’re related to medicare or not, to the best of my ability. This is a memorable call.

Customer #1 : “Can you get Medicare at age seventeen?”

Me: “It’s possible, if unusual. If—”

There is a second person apparently listening to the phone on speaker.

Customer #2 : “Don’t you need to be sixty-five?”

Me: “Everyone can get it at sixty-five, but people on Social Security Disability can get it earlier, as well as people with kidney failure.”

Customer #1 : “So, it can be done before age sixty-five?”

Me: “Seventeen is rare, but it’s possible. There are other conditions that can get it for you early, as well, like Lou Gehrig’s disease.”

Customer #2 : “But you don’t really get it before sixty-five—”

Customer #1 : “Nuh-uh, he said it’s possible. You lost the bet, so—”

They disconnected the call at that point. I’ve done many things in this job, but I’ve never settled a bet before today.