Driving Away Customers
COFFEE SHOP, CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, PENNSYLVANIA, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 6, 2017
(I’m getting coffee with a friend who works as a policeman. As we are sitting, a man leaves the shop, then immediately comes back in, furious.)
Customer: “My car is gone!”
(My friend identifies himself and steps outside with a coffee shop employee. They soon locate the car, which has rolled down the hill, hopped a barrier, and crashed into a concrete barrier.)
Customer: “[Coffee Shop] destroyed my car! I’m suing! I’ll own this place!”
(My friend calls for on duty officers and they arrive quickly. As soon as they investigate, there’s some issue.)
Officer: “Sir? Where did you park your car?”
Customer: “Over there.” *indicates the fire lane*
Officer: “So, you illegally parked your car in the fire lane, blocking the handicap ramp. Parked is the wrong word though. We found the car running and still in gear.”
Customer: “I was just going to be a moment! I’m going to sue [Coffee Shop] for this!”
Officer: “Uh, no. You won’t.”
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