Pharmacists are filling more prescriptions than ever

“Some pharmacies are so volume-driven that the pharmacist can’t look up all day,” says Coffey. There were a record 3.8 billion prescriptions filled in the U.S. in 2007—a 13 percent increase from 2003. If I’m grumpy, there’s a reason. In most chain stores, I have 15 minutes to fill a prescription, and I get reprimanded if I’m too slow. I may also be expected to answer the phone, counsel patients, call insurance companies, and run the cash register—all while making sure you get the right medicine at the right dosage

Sometimes we can’t read the doctor’s handwriting either


E-prescribing can help, but as of 2006, fewer than 20 percent of prescriptions were being electronically transmitted. This is the real reason doctors often have such messy handwriting

I hate your insurance company as much as you do

“Even if something’s working for you, the insurance company may insist you switch to something else,” says pharmacy owner Stuart Feldman. “I’m stuck in the middle trying to explain this to customers.” These are 18 secrets your health insurance company is keeping from you.

We can give flu shots in most states

Just ask us. Also know that when I ask, “Would you like to get a flu shot today?” I’m not just asking for your health; flu shots are so profitable that some stores give clerks a monetary bonus at certain times of the year based on how many immunizations they sell.

People take too many drugs

Two out of every three patients who visit a doctor leave with at least one prescription for medication, according to the Institute for Safe Medication Practices. “Drugs are an easy solution,” says Feldman, “but there are other solutions.” Here are things you need to know right now about taking too many medications.

Always ask to get the lowest price

When it comes to paying for prescriptions, you have to ask to get the lowest price. In a Consumer Reports study, secret shoppers who were quoted a higher price at first were often able to negotiate a discount if they just asked. So the lesson is: be pushy.

We wear white to inspire trust

Many of us require our pharmacists wear white lab coats because we know it inspires trust. In one study, three out of four respondents judged a pharmacist in a white lab coat as more competent and approachable compared to one who was just dressed professionally.

Beware this word: phenylephrine

That’s the active ingredient in most over-the-counter cold medicines, but it’s no better than a placebo. Drugmakers started using it after pseudoephedrine, a decongestant that does work, was forced behind the counter because it was being used to make meth. Watch out for these medical terms you should be sure to never confuse.

Zombies Need Lawyers Too

Pharmacy | Miami, FL, USA | Right | June 17, 2011


Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately we are waiting on your prescriber to contact the pharmacy because parts of your prescription were unclear.”

Customer: “Are you telling me my prescription is not ready?”

Me: “Yes, it is not ready.”

Customer: “Well, if I die, I’m suing you!”

The Purchase Was A Pre-Medicated Decision

Pharmacy | Joliet, IL, USA | Right | May 23, 2011


(I am closing the pharmacy curtain. A customer comes up to the counter.)

Customer: “I need to pick up my prescription for my pain medication. I’m in a lot of pain.”

Me: “Okay. Just for future reference, the pharmacy closes at 9pm.”

Customer: “I know. I was too busy getting an iPhone to get here while you were open.”

This Medicine Doesn’t Really Hit The Spot

Pharmacy | TX, USA | Right | April 10, 2011


Me: “Thank you for calling [pharmacy]. What can I help you with?

Caller: “I just bought some [acne medication]. I was wondering if you could, uh… use it on herpes?”

Me: “On herpes? [Acne medication] is a treatment for acne only.”

Caller: “So can I put it on my junk or not?”

This Customer Has Trouble Written All Over Him

Pharmacy | Baldwinsville, NY, USA | Right | April 3, 2011


Customer: “I’d like to buy some syringes.”

Me: “Can I see some ID?”

Customer: “They’re not for me, they’re for my dad. He’s a diabetic and needs them for his insulin.”

Me: “Okay. I still need to see some ID. Do you know his date of birth?”

Customer: “I’ll never forget his date of birth. I had it tattooed on my arm the day he died.”

(The customer proceeds to show everyone in the pharmacy the tattoo of his deceased father’s DOB–the same father that he is trying to buy syringes for.)

So Mummy Can Have Birds Without The Bees

Pharmacy | United Kingdom | Right | January 30, 2011


(I am a customer in line at a pharmacy. A mother and her two youngs boys is ahead of me. One of the young boys is sitting on the floor pointing at random medicines.)

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s for an itchy head.”

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s for when you can’t sleep.”

(The boy then points at the pregnancy tests.)

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s to see if you have a baby growing inside of you!”

(The boy then stands up and gets back in line with his mother.)

Mother, to me and the pharmacist: “Thank god he didn’t point at the condoms!”

Two Pillows On The Couch, Once Daily

Pharmacy | Richmond, BC, Canada | Right | January 26, 2011


(I need to make a new profile for the customer’s wife on our computer system, so the customer calls his wife.)

Customer, to wife: “Hello? What’s your card number? It’s for the prescription.”

(The customer relays the card number to me. I ask for her birthday.)

Customer, to wife: “When’s your birthday? No, of course I remember. It’s December 7th!”

(I hear his wife cry out loudly over the phone.)

Customer, to wife: “What? It’s September 22nd?!”

(The customer ends the conversation and hangs up the phone.)

Me: “Are you going to be alright when you go back?”

Customer, to me: “You should warn me next time you have to ask for her birthday.”

Identity Theft Is Childs Play

Pharmacy | Iowa City, IA, USA | Right | January 14, 2011


(I am a customer in line. There is a woman with a 4 year old finishing up their purchase.)

Me: “Here’s your change.”

4-Year-Old: “Mommy, can I do the scribbles?”

Customer: “No, honey. I paid with cash, not my credit card.”

Looking Down The Barrel Of A Smoking Gum

Pharmacy | Madison, WI, USA | Right | January 3, 2011


(I hear this conversation in my checkout line.)

Customer #1 : “Oh my God, I love that nicotine gum! It makes my mouth feel all numb.”

Customer #2 : “You know that stuff’s going to get you addicted to cigarettes, right?”

Customer #1 : “Nah! That stuff gets you un-addicted to them and I don’t smoke. I’m fine!”

Children Get Sick Periodically

Pharmacy | New York, New York, USA | Right | November 19, 2010


(A woman walks into the store with her young daughter. Her daughter looks feverish and is sniffling.)

Customer: “Oh look honey, they have candy bars. Go get yourself one while mommy shops for her things.”

(The little girl walks up to the counter and takes a candy bar.)

Me: “Are you feeling okay, little girl?”

Daughter: “My mommy says as long as she gets her tampons, I’ll feel better.”

(The girl suddenly vomits all over the candy bars and on the counter.)

Daughter: “QUICK MOMMY! GET YOUR TAMPONS!”

Ear-Waxing Lyrical About Bad Service

Pharmacy | London, UK | Right | November 1, 2010


Customer: “I’ve come to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “Oh I’m really sorry, due to extenuating circumstances we don’t have a pharmacist at the moment so legally I can’t give out any prescriptions. But if you wait 5 minutes, a replacement pharmacist will be here and then you can take it.”

Customer: “But I need it. Give it to me!”

Me: “I understand your problem but I would be breaking the law if I gave it to you.”

Customer: “I work in the pharmaceutical industry and I know for a fact you are lying! Give it to me now!”

(The pharmacist arrives and I explain the problem.)

Pharmacist: “I’m really sorry for the inconvenience but my colleague was right, there was nothing she could do. But now that I’m here, you can take your prescription.”

Customer: “You’re colleague is a cruel, moral-less b**** with the intelligence of a moron. She has endangered my life! I shall take this to court and win!” *storms out*

Me: *to pharmacist* “What was in her prescription?”

Pharmacist: “Drops for excessive ear wax.”

Retired & Extremely Dangerous

Pharmacy | Georgia, USA | Right | October 18, 2010


Me: “Thank you for call [Pharmacy], may I help you?”

Elderly Female Customer: “I would like to get these two of my medications refilled and I want to pick them up tomorrow afternoon.”

Me: “Okay ma’am, that will be fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Elderly Female Customer: “Honey, you can come to my house and do me anytime.”

Me: “I, uh, oh, uh…”

Elderly Female Customer: “I hope I didn’t offend you, but I’m old so I can say things like that!”

Discount Discounted

Pharmacy | Sherman Oaks, CA, USA | Right | September 29, 2010


Me: “And do you have a free rewards card with us, ma’am?”

Customer: “A what? I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t know.”

Me: “If you think you have one, I can look it up by your phone number?

Customer: “My what?”

Me: *louder* “Your phone number, ma’am.”

Customer: “I don’t have one of those! I don’t think I have one! I don’t have a phone number! I don’t have one!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, that’s fine. Your total today is $26.74, and just to let you know, you could have saved $5.90 if you had the rewards card.”

Customer: “A discount? My phone number is ***-****.”