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Sent A Stinging Note
Arkansas, Coworkers, Elementary/Primary School, Lazy/Unhelpful, Non-Dialogue, Pets & Animals, Teachers, USA | Healthy | February 6, 2019 My grandmother was a teacher at one of the nearby elementary schools, and at the time she was teaching in this old, wooden building which was located where the playground is now. One day, as she was teaching, a wasp flew in. My grandmother was deathly allergic to wasp stings, so she freaked out, screaming and diving under her desk to avoid it. She ended up writing a note and sent it with a student to the janitor. The note read, “There’s a wasp in here, and I’m allergic. Come get it!” The student came back with a reply on the other side of the paper that read, “I know how you feel.” One of her students killed the wasp for her. |
Narcotics By Night
Impossible Demands, Indiana, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | February 4, 2019 (The pharmacy where I work is the only 24-hour one in town. We keep all our narcotics in a time-delayed safe that we don’t open at night. The only exception is a few we keep out for hospital patients. One night after 11:00 pm, a lady comes through the drive-thru to drop off a script for one of these medications.) Me: “We have this in stock and we can have it ready for you around 7:00 am.” Lady: “I can’t get it now? I’ve been out all day! Can’t you just give me a couple to get me by?” (I’m thinking, “If you’ve been out all day, why wait until this late at night to get more?”) Me: “This is in a time-delayed safe, so we can’t fill these at night.” Lady: “Well, what’s the point in being a full-service, 24-hour pharmacy if you can’t fill prescriptions at night?” Me: “We can fill most prescriptions at night, but this is in our time-delayed safe which can’t be opened after eight.” Lady: “I don’t care about anyone else’s prescriptions. This is for me!” |
Medicaid: Come Back When There’s More Than One Stomach Hole
Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Lazy/Unhelpful, USA | Healthy | February 3, 2019 (I have been extremely sick with stomach issues for quite a long time, but have had zero luck finding a doctor who will take on a Medicaid patient. One day, the pain after trying to eat something becomes so severe that I ask my grandma to take me to the ER. We go to the main hospital downtown and wait. My mom eventually gets off work and comes to take grandma’s place waiting with me. Finally, after over eight hours, I’m called back. We sit with the doctor and talk about my symptoms: non-stop nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, lack of appetite, exhaustion, unable to keep anything solid down, and so on, getting progressively worse over the course of more than a year. I’ve survived on an increasingly all-liquid diet all that time, so it’s clear something’s wrong.) Doctor: “Well, you’re young, so I’m not too worried about it. I know you’re in school right now. Remember, your state of mind can really affect your body. Have you been depressed at all?” (Yep, no tests or anything other than checking my blood sugar and doing a pregnancy and drug screening. I am discharged with basically the advice to try to relax and find a GP to discuss things with. Exactly one week later, I’m at home, and this time start vomiting blood pretty much nonstop rather than the usual intermittent basis. I call the nursing helpline for my Medicaid provider.) Nurse: “You’re bleeding internally. You need to get to an ER immediately. Do you have someone who can drive you, or should I line up a ride for you?” Me: “Well, I was literally just in the ER last week.” Nurse: “Miss, you really need to go back. Is there someone who can take you?” Me: “Yeah, I know my mom will take me if I tell her. Thank you.” (Sure enough, my mom came to get me, and we headed for the one hospital in town not part of the network that ran the other one, as it was the local Catholic hospital. I was checked in and taken back within a few minutes, the doctor really listened, and they did tests, giving me meds to help with the nausea in the meantime. Turns out, my H. pylori numbers were practically astronomical, and the ultrasound revealed visible swelling where an ulcer was on the brink of eating through my stomach, in addition to the anemia and high white cell count. I effectively got there pretty much just in time. So, yeah, that’s my story of how most of the medical system wanted to effectively leave me to die just because I couldn’t make enough between my four jobs while going to school, and the one hospital that saved my life. Thanks to a scheduler in the local medical system, I have since found a GP and a GI specialist who are working on the underlying autoimmune issue we’ve since found, as well as getting the stomach issues under control that I was left with due to long-term lack of treatment.) |
Your Throat Is Fine But Your Brain Is Missing
Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, Patients, USA | Healthy | February 2, 2019 (The office I work in is in a larger building with other medical offices in it. I’m walking in to work one day and see an older lady standing in the intersection of two hallways looking lost. I’m not wearing scrubs or a uniform of any kind, but I must look like I know where I am going because she stops me with this:) Old Lady: “Where do I go?” Me: “Which office are you looking for?” Old Lady: “I don’t know; where do I go?” Me: “Are you seeing a doctor or having a procedure done?” Old Lady: *motions to her throat* “They’re scanning this.” Me: *thinking this narrows down the possibilities to two offices* “Do you know what kind of scan, or the name of the office you need to be at?” Old Lady: “They just told me to come in door B.” *our building entrances are marked with letters* “Where do I go?” Me: “Well, I work at [Radiology Clinic], so follow me and we’ll see if your appointment is with us.” Old Lady: “But where do I go?” (Her appointment was with us, but for the next day. We were able to squeeze her in. It happens way too often that patients come for scans but have no idea what it’s for or which doctor sent them. I would be able to understand getting lost if the offices in our building weren’t so clearly marked and there weren’t maps at every entrance.) |
School Is Not Much Of An Improvement Over Hospital
Bizarre, Canada, Hospital, Patients | Healthy | February 1, 2019 (I’m a nurse in a smallish community hospital. A number of our patients are awaiting placement in long-term care and aren’t acutely ill. However, because they’re living in a germy hospital, they’re inclined to pick up bugs, and older folks with cognitive decline can get intensely confused with any sort of infection. One morning, one of our longtime patients, an older, bedridden lady, starts telling us all that she’s on a couch in a schoolhouse in a completely different small town and she needs to get back to the hospital. She laughs at us when we try to explain that she’s already in the hospital, and has a shouting match with her husband when he comes in and tries, as well. Later in the day, I’m doing some charting at the nursing station and answer a phone call:) Me: “[Floor], [My Name] speaking.” Patient: “Oh, hi. I’m just calling to let you know that I’m not there today; I’m at the school in [Town].” Me: “[Patient], you are here today. I saw you this morning. I helped with your bath.” Patient: “No, I’m not. I’m in [town], but I thought I should call in case [Husband] is looking for me.” Me: “[Patient], your husband was in this morning. To the hospital. Where you are. In room [number]. Look. I’ll walk down the hall to your room.” Patient: *laughs* “Okay, you do that; I won’t be there, though.” (I walk down the hall, while talking to the patient on the cordless extension, and into her room. She sees me and continues talking over the phone to me.) Patient: “Oh, a girl’s here now!” Me: *hangs up* “[Patient], that’s me; you were just talking to me.” Patient: *keeps talking into the phone* “See, I’m in [Town] and I need to get back to the hospital!” (I gave up; she would not be reoriented. Later, I answered a call from our switchboard, who patched through 911. The patient had called them to ask to be returned to the hospital. I had to go back to her room to talk to the 911 dispatch on her phone and cancel the request. Then I disconnected her phone. This patient is recovered and quite lucid once more.) |
Must Not Be The Only One With A Damaged Head
England, Hospital, Lazy/Unhelpful, London, Non-Dialogue, Stupid, UK | Healthy | February 1, 2019 I go to see my dad one day while my mum is away on a trip, to keep him company and to help him get some stuff done. One of the things he wants to do is add new waterproofing strips to the top of his workshop. We set up the ladder and I go up while he cuts some blocks. Rather foolishly, we didn’t do anything resembling good practice while setting up the ladder, a fact that comes back to bite me when I try to climb down it and it slips out from under me. I fall and luckily I land feet-first, but then I tip forward, and this time I land head-first on the patio. I scream and my dad rushes out. A quick damage assessment has a lot of blood streaming from my head and a small puddle of it on the floor. I should note at this point that my dad and I are absolutely terrible for seeking medical attention. The last time my dad was in hospital he had managed to nearly slice his thumb off, and I, likewise, had not gone to hospital since I was eight. But given the amount of blood, we decide a trip to the hospital might be a good idea. Since we are close to the hospital, we decide it would be faster and easier to just drive me in. With a towel soaking the blood up, we drive to the hospital and I walk in. It’s worth noting that despite the fact I’m walking, my t-shirt is covered in blood. The towel at my head it quite wet with it, too; anyone with some sense should probably figure I’m an urgent case. The staff who assign severity of cases, however, take a different view on things. First, I have to sit for five minutes, and then I meet with someone to fill out my details before being sent down a hallway to another waiting room. After around five minutes here, the blood loss and shock is getting to me and I literally pass out onto the floor. According to my dad, I am suddenly swarmed with nurses and doctors, my blood pressure and vitals are taken, and I am shoved onto a bed with a compress applied to my head. At first, however, there is some confusion as to who I am. It turns out the admitting nurse decided my case wasn’t that serious, “because he was walking,” and had listed me as discharged. I am given a head CT and kept in for six hours of observation, diagnosed with a mild concussion and a large cut to the side of my head, which fortunately closes without the need for stitches. My dad thinks it is hilarious later when a sign on our way out reads, “Would you recommend [Hospital] to a friend?” With the way they handled my case… |
Time To Tell Them The Hard, Black Truth
Home, Madison, Patients, Roommates, Stupid, USA | Healthy | January 31, 2019 (My flatmate has been seeing a doctor for heart palpitations and has had to do a number of things to troubleshoot it, including wearing a portable heart monitor. One evening we are hanging out in the kitchen.) Me: “Didn’t the cardiologist say you have to cut down on caffeine?” Flatmate: “Yeah, so I stopped drinking coffee.” Me: “How many cups of black tea have you had today already, though?” Flatmate: “Six. Why?” |
She Has To Live Somewhere Else, But At Least She Will Be Living
Adelaide, Australia, Bad Behavior, Medical Office, Parents/Guardians, South Australia | Healthy Related | January 30, 2019 (I’m sitting in a doctor’s office waiting room with my five-year-old son for a routine checkup. In Australia, legally, you do not have to have your parents’ consent for doctor visits once you turn 16, at which point you can apply for your own medicare card, as well. A young girl around 16 or 17 marches through the door and walks up to the receptionist, followed by an older woman who turns out to be her mother. Her mother is WAILING at the top of her lungs, begging her daughter to stop, asking how she could do this to her, etc., in amongst just screaming randomly. Every kid in the practice bolts to their parents and the adults are left to just watch it all unfold.) Teenage Girl: “Hello. I’m [Teenage Girl] and I’m seventeen and here for my own appointment.” (Her mother increases her screeching, now sitting firmly in harpy territory.) Mum: “I AM HER MOTHER AND I DO NOT CONSENT TO THIS.” (The receptionist, to her credit, simply checks the young girl in, and she goes to sit down and wait. Her mother, still crying and shrieking, follows her and sits between her and another mum with a toddler who looks horrified.) Mum: *through hiccups and tears* “Make sure you raise him right, but even if you raise him right, he’ll let some big corporation turn him against youuuu!” (The other mum gets called in for her appointment and makes a hasty getaway, leaving us to listen to the crazy banshee beg and plead and scream at her daughter not to do this. Honestly, at this point, I think the only thing that could cause this reaction would be an abortion, but ohhh, I was wrong. A very perplexed doctor calls the young girl’s name out, and she bolts into the room. Her mother tries to follow but is stopped by the doctor.) Doctor: “Do you want your mother with you?” Teenage Girl: “No.” (This apparently kicks the crazy into overdrive. The mother starts yelling angrily now.) Mum: “Well, after you get that poison injected into you, you are not coming home and shedding it all over your sisters! You can find somewhere else to live!” (The mum made an exit and we all realised she was talking about VACCINES. When her daughter emerged from the room she apologised to all of us, and it looked like she’d been crying. A few people offered her tissues and told her she was a brave kid for standing her ground. She had a quiet talk with the receptionist, who called someone, and when I was leaving the receptionist said she’d called the girl’s father for her. Wherever you are, brave girl, I hope you had somewhere to live, and good on you for making the smart choice!) |
Laughter Is The Best Medicine… After Chemo
Doctor/Physician, England, Hospital, Nurses, Silly, UK | Healthy | January 29, 2019 (I have cancer and am at the hospital for a session of chemotherapy. Before I can have the treatment, I have to have blood taken and see the oncologist to make sure that I am healthy enough to take the chemo. A nurse weighs me whilst I am waiting for my consultation, and I am finally called in. The doctor asks how I’m doing, tells me my blood work was fine, and checks my weight with the nurse. She gives him the info, and he drops this gem.) Oncologist: “Is that weight whilst fully clothed?” Nurse: *looking incredibly amused* “We don’t strip the patients naked, [Doctor].” (I went into that session of chemo feeling very upbeat.) |
Fighting Tooth And Nail To Get Your Money
Bad Behavior, California, Dentist, USA | Healthy | January 28, 2019 (I’m on Medicaid since I’m working at an unfunded startup and don’t have any income — I got a sizable equity stake to compensate — nor does the company offer any insurance. I haven’t been to the dentist in a couple of years since my previous job’s dental coverage expired, and I’ve finally overcome my laziness to find a new one. There are only a few dentists in the area I have moved to in the interim who take Medicaid; I look them up on Yelp just to get a general idea of people’s experiences, and pick the one that had the best reviews.) Dentist: “Your front top and bottom teeth are clicking against each other, when the top ones should be in front of the bottoms. This is causing your bottom teeth to be pushed out of alignment and is producing some gum recession.” (This seems reasonable, and I have noticed that the gums around my front bottom teeth are thinning a bit.) Dentist: “This is a serious problem that you should address immediately. You should set up an appointment as soon as possible for us to get you on [Name-Brand Clear-Aligner Orthodontic Treatment].” (Denti-Cal, California’s Medicaid dental coverage, isn’t that comprehensive; I doubt they’ll cover a multi-thousand-dollar orthodontic treatment for an adult, and I don’t have that kind of out-of-pocket money at the moment. Also, while this dentist does apparently do both dentistry and orthodontics, from childhood I’m used to seeing a separate orthodontist.) Me: “Thanks for letting me know, but I don’t want to do that procedure at this time.” Dentist: “You need a deep cleaning since it’s been so long since your last cleaning.” *shows me x-rays* “If we just did a regular cleaning, we might not get all of this plaque that’s built up under the gum line. I don’t see any infection, but a long-term plaque buildup could lead to one.” (This also seems reasonable, since it has been a couple of years, and the last time I went that long between cleanings I also needed a deep cleaning. At the time this takes place Denti-Cal doesn’t cover deep cleanings, so I have to cover the $400 charge out of pocket, but figure that’s my burden for waiting so long. Wanting a second opinion on the tooth-alignment issue, I schedule to see my childhood orthodontist when I’m home seeing my parents a few months later. I haven’t seen him in at least a decade, and there’s no chance of him getting any business from me since he’s on the opposite coast.) Orthodontist: “Your teeth have shifted a fair amount since we last saw you. No, that clicking isn’t ideal, but the gum issues aren’t that bad and aren’t an immediate concern. You should probably address it in the next few years, but I’d recommend seeing someone who only does orthodontics, not a dentist who does orthodontics on the side.” (Maybe there’s some professional snobbery involved with that last comment, but I’m more focused on the so-called “immediate issue” not being that much of an emergency, which I had suspected. At the next dentist appointment:) Hygienist: “You know, your teeth are rather discolored. I think you should have us do a whitening procedure!” Me: “My teeth aren’t that bad, and I’m not that concerned about my appearance. Also, in case you weren’t aware, I’m on Denti-Cal, which I’m pretty sure wouldn’t cover that, and which means I don’t really have hundreds or thousands of dollars to spare on a cosmetic procedure. So, no, I won’t be doing that.” (Ten minutes later:) Hygienist: “I really do think you’d look so much better if you got your teeth whitened! We’d do a really good job of it!” Me: “I already said I both didn’t want to and couldn’t afford that.” Hygienist: “Okay. Well, the dentist recommends you get a gum irrigation while you’re here, for the infection.” Me: “What infection?! When I was here last time I was told I didn’t have any, and that I should do a deep cleaning to avoid any notable chance of one.” Hygienist: “Well, no, you don’t have an infection, but the irrigation would further ensure you don’t get one.” Me: “I was told last time that a deep cleaning was sufficient, and it seems that it was. I don’t like the insinuation that I have a problem when there’s not actually a problem. If I don’t have an infection, this sounds like an unnecessary procedure, and I’m not paying for it.” (The hygienist finishes my regular cleaning.) Hygienist: “Are you sure you don’t want your teeth whitened?” Me: “No. I do not. Want. My teeth. Whitened. I said that twice already in no uncertain terms. Don’t ask me again.” (The dentist comes in for the post-cleaning check.) Dentist: “So, when do you want us to remove your wisdom teeth?” Me: “Is there something wrong with them?! They came in several years ago, there’s enough room in my jaw for them, and I haven’t had any issues with them to date.” Dentist: “No, but many of my patients get them removed just to avoid any complications.” Me: “I’m currently 28. My dad didn’t have his removed until his 50s, and that was in response to some tangible problems he was having. I’m on Denti-Cal, and this probably isn’t covered. I’m not paying that kind of money right now to possibly avoid some problem that may never crop up, or may not crop up for decades. Please stop trying to sell me a bunch of unnecessary procedures, especially when you should know, from my insurance, that I probably don’t have much money to fritter away on things I don’t absolutely need.” (I am rather annoyed by this whole ordeal, but I make an appointment for six months later since they at least seemed to do a capable job of cleaning my teeth. My usual inertia about switching dentists leads me to not find another one in the interim, so I go back. The cleaning is shorter than usual, possibly since I’ve started using a water flosser in addition to brushing.) Dentist: “You know, that under-bite hasn’t gotten any better. You should really get [Clear Orthodontics Product].” Me: “I’m still on Denti-Cal. It’s still not covered as far as I know, and I’m still not in a position to afford that. If and when I do decide to fix the problem, I will see a full-time orthodontist.” Dentist: “All right, then. Next time you come in, you should do a deep cleaning, because I see some noticeable plaque buildup under your gums.” Me: “I’ve been using a water flosser for several months now. You showed me the x-rays you took before the cleaning and there were maybe two tiny spots of plaque under all of my teeth put together. While Denti-Cal now covers deep cleanings, I’m not going to do that when there’s absolutely no reason to. I’m sick and tired of being pressured and cajoled into all manner of questionably necessary, or flat-out unnecessary, procedures. No other dentist I’ve ever been to has ever behaved like this. I’m not coming back.” (I actually didn’t come back this time, and when they called me six months later to remind me of my next appointment, I told them again that I was never setting foot in their door.) |
Must Be One Big Jacket
Bizarre, California, Medical Office, Rude & Risque, USA | Healthy Right | January 27, 2019 (I’ve just asked an elderly patient to remove his jacket so I can take his blood pressure.) Patient: “Sure. I’ll take all my clothes off, if you want!” |
A Blue Eye For A Broken Tooth
England, Hospital, London, Patients, Silly, UK | Healthy | January 25, 2019 (This happened a few years back. Two of my teeth had cracked and gone completely rotten and required removal. I was put under anesthetic and had the operation. Just after I woke up…) Me: *pokes holes in mouth* “What… What? Where’re my teeth?” Nurse: “You just had an operation to remove them.” Me: *pokes mouth* “What? No… No, I didn’t. I was shopping… Yeah…” (A bit of a pause. To check my jaw, she makes me bite a bit of cotton.) Me: “I want my teeth back, please.” Nurse: “Don’t worry; we have them in a little packet.” Me: “No… No! I WANT YOU TO PUT MY TEETH BACK!” Nurse: “I’m afraid that’s impossible. They’re all broken.” Me: “PUT THEM BACK!” *sits up, throws the cotton at the wall, and then starts crying for no particular reason* “They were killed too soon!” Nurse: “Don’t worry; they went out bravely.” Me: “Yeah… The funeral will be so sad… They were so brave! Rest in shade… No… peas… peace!” (I look at the nurse.) Me: “Your eyes… Why are they blue? How does it work? They are very blue. Did anyone ever say your eyes are blue? Why are they blue?” (I don’t remember any of this, but my dad was there and told me the whole thing once the anesthetic wore off. I felt so mortified!) |
Allergic To Politeness
Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, Stupid, UK | Healthy Right | January 24, 2019 Customer: “I need something for allergies.” (I show him the selection and he chooses.) Me: “Are you on any other medication?” Customer: “None of your business. Give me my tablets.” Me: “I’m not allowed to sell them to you if there is a chance they could interact with something you are already taking.” Customer: “Well, f*** you!” *storms off* Colleague: “You would think he would be wiser after the last time.” Me: “What happened?” Colleague: “Our last pharmacist gave in and sold them. He took them while shopping and crashed his car the second he left the car park. He was taking codeine and had a bad reaction.” Me: “Wow.” |
OMG-yn!, Part 2
Czech Republic, Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Jerk | Healthy | January 23, 2019 (I wake up feeling sick. There are explosions of pain in my right side. I try to walk it off but after a few hours my boyfriend decides it’s time to stop playing hero, and he takes me to an emergency room. A receptionist is sorting patients according to their suspected diagnosis — broken bones and physical injuries are sent to the surgical ER, ob-gyn problems to the ob-gyn ER, toothache to the dentist ER, etc. We think it’s appendicitis, so I end up in general ER because we actually don’t know what’s wrong. I am four months pregnant and it’s already starting to show.) Doctor: “We need to do a test to see if you are pregnant.” Me: “I am pregnant.” Doctor: “Riiight. So, we will do the test to see if you are pregnant…” Me: “I am pregnant.” Doctor: “Sure. So this test–“ Me: “Which part of ‘I am pregnant’ don’t you understand?” Doctor: “This test will determine if you are pregnant.” Me: “Okay, last time: I am pregnant. I’m 17 weeks along. In your right hand is my pregnancy card which confirms my pregnancy, includes all the tests, results, and every check-up I’ve had. I am four months pregnant!” Doctor: *pause* “Well, why didn’t you say so?” Me: “Arggggh!” (She sent me to ob-gyn ER since “irritated pregnant women aren’t her problem.” At the ob-gyn ER, I was told my baby was fine, and since they also agreed it might be appendicitis, they sent me to the surgical ER where they determined it wasn’t appendicitis, but that the cause of the pain was my baby. I had a slightly irritated and swollen appendix, and the position of my son allowed him to kick it, which caused the explosions of pain. Two days of an icepack on my right side and liquid diet, and I was fine.) |
Choking With Inappropriateness
Assisted Living, Germany, Golden Years, Patients, Rude & Risque | Healthy Right | January 22, 2019 (I work in a home for the elderly. I have to help an elderly woman to change seats because her left arm and leg are paralyzed. She can stand as long as she holds on to somebody. While I’m transferring her into her wheelchair, she holds onto my neck and by doing so she chokes me. Getting out of breath, I quickly set her into her wheelchair. After catching my breath I talk to her.) Me: “Miss [Woman], you were choking me.” Woman: “Oh, sorry. I’ll leave that to your girlfriend.” (After that I had to catch my breath again from laughing too much.) |
Just Tell Them They Will Get Dog Breath
Impossible Demands, Stupid, USA, Utah, Vet | Healthy Right | January 20, 2019 (I’m a receptionist for a busy veterinarian office. We have a strict policy of not giving medical advice over the phone for the protection of the patients, as I am not a medical professional; I am a receptionist with zero medical training. A frantic woman calls.) Caller: “What’s going to happen to me? I used my dog’s toothbrush!” Me: “I don’t believe anything should happen to you, but if you’re worried, you should call your own doctor for advice.” Caller: “But don’t you know?! You know about dogs; you should know what will happen to me!” (Both my other phone lines are now ringing.) Me: “I cannot give medical advice over the phone. Also, we are a veterinarian. If you need medical advice for people, you need to speak to a human doctor.” Caller: “But don’t you know? You know about dogs.” Me: *repeating myself* “I really cannot give medical advice for pets or humans. If you are worried, call your own doctor. Now, I need to answer some other calls.” Caller: “Okay. I just don’t understand why you can’t tell me what will happen to me.” (I had to hang up on the woman because she wouldn’t stop whining about it.) |
The Fats Fit The Facts
Colorado, Health & Body, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | January 19, 2019 (I am a larger woman, between a size 12-14. I have PCOS which means it can be very hard for me to lose weight. I also exercise four to six days a week (what can I say? I have an endorphin addiction) and eat fairly healthy. I’m just fat, and the weight doesn’t come off unless I absolutely starve myself. Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t believe this, some of which are in the medical industry. Fortunately, my doctor is more than happy with my health. At the beginning of my annual physical, I notice she has gotten a new nurse. The new nurse enters the room, sees me, and stops dead in her tracks. She looks at the file she has with my blood work, and she looks at me. Back to the blood work, back to me.) Nurse: “Are you [My Name]?” Me: “Yes.” (She frowns and excuses herself. Unfortunately for her, she doesn’t close the door all the way, so I can hear her talking to my doctor in the hall. She is telling the doctor she thinks my blood work has gotten mixed up because there is no way I can have the stats I have! My doctor corrects her saying I have a largely healthy body, but all the organs in my lower abdomen hate me. And that was how her nurse learned that fat people sometimes aren’t fat for lack of trying, and that sometimes our stats are just fine, thank you.) |
Doesn’t Need A Bank Or A Post Office But A Hospital
Bad Behavior, Bank, Bizarre, England, Health & Body, Patients, UK | Healthy Right | January 19, 2019 (I have been helping a patron set up a direct debit.) Me: “And is there anything else I can help you with today?” Patron: “Yes, can I have a packet of first-class stamps?” Me: “Oh, I’m afraid we don’t offer stamps, but there is a post office just down the road. Just head right as you step outside.” (Her head does this awkward jerk and she looks around in confusion.) Patron: “This isn’t a post office?” Me: “No, it’s a bank.” (She looks furious, but before she can say anything else, she collapses on the floor. I’m the closest first-aider so I go into action. The door security guard calls 999. It looks like she’s having an epileptic fit, so I try my best to work with my training. I check her handbag for an identity card, but can’t find one. The guard walks over and tells me EMTs are coming just as our manager answers the phone. He looks so confused, but he addresses us.) Manager: “What’s her name?” Me: “What? How is that relevant?” Manager: “I’ve got one of the paramedics on the phone. She’s asking.” Me: *confused* “[Patron].” Manager: “It’s [Patron]…” *to me* “She says to put a cushion under her head and check her handbag.” Me: “Already done. I couldn’t find anything. I don’t know if she’s epileptic.” (He tells the paramedic.) Manager: “Was there anything drug-related in the bag? Pills? She’s asking for a colour.” (I grab the bag and check. There is a small, clear bag in one of the side pockets. I don’t touch it but I can see small, round tablets.) Me: “They’re pink.” Manager: “Pin– Oh, they’re already here.” (Literally as he says this, the EMTs burst through the door, with the woman my manager was speaking to hanging up.) EMT: “Sorry, once we knew it was [Patron], we knew we had to hurry.” (I surrender her to the EMTs. After a few minutes and an IV, she comes around. She is laughing and quite jolly with them as they take her away on a gurney.) EMT: “Thanks for the help. I’ll just need to ask some questions.” Me: “Sure, but how did you know it was her?” EMT: “Sweetie, I’ve lost count of the number of times we’ve been called out for her. Now we just take it as standard to call ahead when we’re told it’s a middle-aged woman.” (I really have to commend them. I can’t imagine having to deal with the same woman time and time again as she slowly destroys herself.) |
Can’t Even Blame This One On Pregnancy Brain
Canada, Criminal & Illegal, Laboratory, Ontario, Patients, Stupid, Toronto | Healthy Legal Right | January 18, 2019 (My coworker is examining pee samples for a patient. They need to pass the drug test to be able to drive a vehicle for work.) Coworker: “[My Name], come look at this.” (He hands me the pee sample and the results.) Me: “Hmm, well, it says here Mr. [Last Name] is pregnant, so unless he’s trans and it’s not on file, I’d say he cheated.” (I’d doubted anyone would be stupid enough to have a pregnant woman cheat for them but, as it turns out, he was.) |
Just Kill Two Livers With One Drink And Make It An Espresso Martini
California, Health & Body, Medical Office, Patients, Sacramento, Stupid, USA | Healthy Right | January 18, 2019 (I’m assisting our cardiologist today, rooming patients and doing EKGs and such. One patient comes in with a complaint of palpitations. I do an EKG on him which comes out normal, but there’s something off about this guy — he’s practically bouncing off the walls with nervous energy. The cardiologist goes in to see him and I move on to other patients. About half an hour later, they both come out and the patient leaves. The doctor comes over to me with a look of disbelief.) Doctor: “That guy drinks eighty ounces of coffee a day. Eighty. Eight-zero.” Me: “Holy cow. No wonder he was jitterier than a junebug.” Doctor: “And he says he drinks three liters of vodka a week!” Me: “Oh, my gosh. His poor liver.” Doctor: “So, obviously, I told him he needs to stop doing that. And you know what he said? He doesn’t want to stop, and he’d rather just take medication for the palpitations!” |
If You Want To Stay Sick, Just Cough
Doctor/Physician, Medical Office, South Africa | Healthy | January 18, 2019 CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice. (Over the festive season, I had become quite ill for a period of about three-four weeks. I visited my doctor, received medication, and got better; then my partner became ill and I became ill AGAIN three days later and had to go back to my doctor. I visited two different doctors working in the same center. Unfortunately, my visits with them have left me a bit… surprised. On my first visit, my doctor is very young, seems a bit spacey, and is new to this practice. My medical aid receipts show her visits are charged at less than half the rate of your standard doctor’s visit, so I am a bit wary. My previous doctor was INCREDIBLE, but had just emigrated overseas, and this is her new replacement that I was referred to.) Doctor: “So, what seems to be the problem today?” Me: “I have [symptoms], but I’m most worried about my cough. I’m coughing to the point that I’m crumpled on the floor, until I can’t breathe, and I’m basically just vomiting air.” *I indicate to my ribs* “It’s so bad that my ribs feel bruised from coughing so hard.” Doctor: “Hmm… All right, I’m going to prescribe you some antibiotics, and some of this [gastro medicine] for your stomach problem.” Me: “Wait, what? What stomach problem?” Doctor: “You pointed to your stomach and said it hurts, so I’m giving you [gastro medicine]!” Me: “I said my ribs are bruised… from the coughing? My stomach is perfectly fine, but I’m really worried about this cough. It doesn’t feel normal.” Doctor: “Oh… okay, then. You don’t need this. Instead, I’ll give you this.” (He highlights the cheapest and most generic brand of cough syrup on the market, that I’ve already finished two of in the days leading up to my visit. The next doctor’s visit is almost two weeks later, with a different doctor in the same center. I’ve bought myself generic over-the-counter cough medicine up until I could visit the doctor again. I wait over half an hour for my appointment, by which time their offices should be closed, before I’m called in. At this stage, my cough has returned, and I have hurt my wrist, as it hurts when I put pressure on it.) Doctor #2 : “How can I help you today?” Me: *explains all my symptoms again* “—and I appear to have hurt my wrist. It hurts when I apply pressure; I’m worried it might be sprained.” Doctor #2 : “Well, that’s simple. Just don’t apply pressure to it, then!” Me: “All right? And for my cough? It’s really getting worse, and none of my medicine seems to work.” Doctor #2 : *puts a bottle of a smaller version of the cheapest generic cough medicine on the counter* “You can take this.” Me: “Um… I’ve had basically four bottles of this in the last three weeks, and it hasn’t worked. I even have a bottle of this in my bag still. Do you not have anything more specialized, for a deep cough like this? My throat is now raw, I still struggle to breathe because it hurts, and my rib area is still bruised.” Doctor #2 : *huge smile* “Nope! It’s just for symptomatic relief, anyway. This will be fine!” (I’m still sick, my wrist is still injured, and I’m moving on to my fifth bottle of cough syrup. I’m planning on finding a new doctor soon. For those concerned, the cough syrup is very generic, suitable for toddlers, with no codeine or DXM in it.) |
What To Do With The Problem Patients
Medical Office, Stupid, USA | Healthy Right | January 17, 2019 (I am a receptionist for a medical clinic primarily dealing with elderly patients, meaning that they usually need to have everything explained to them slowly and multiple times to fully understand. We have very few patients under 65, and they normally have no problem understanding anything the first time. Or so I thought. This patient calls in after seeing a doctor the previous day.) Patient: “Hi, I just saw [Doctor] yesterday, and she ordered some labs for me, which I got done, but no one told me what to do next.” Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. Normally after you have blood work done, the doctor will call you if there are any abnormal results, or we can book another appointment for you to go over those results.” Patient: “Okay, but no one told me what to do. I’m in pain now.” Me: “I understand, but those are the options for following up with lab results. Would you like to book another appointment?” Patient: “Look, no one told me what to do!” Me: *thinking doctor noted followup instructions in visit notes that I can relay to patient* “Can I get your full name and date of birth?” (The patient gives info and I pull up their chart. The patient is definitely not elderly.) Me: “I apologize, I’m just looking at the doctor’s notes really quick.” Patient: “This is so confusing; nobody told me what to do next! What do I do?” Me: “I don’t see any followup notes in here. Would you like me to book you another appointment with the doctor to discuss your labs when the results are in?” Patient: “Fine.” (I check the schedule, but due to a shortage of doctors, we can’t get him in for two weeks.) Patient: “This is so frustrating; I’m in pain now!” Me: “I apologize. Would you like me to just have the doctor call you when the results are in?” Patient: “This is so ridiculous. No one told me what to do and I’m in pain. What do I do?!” Me: “We can book you an appointment or I’ll just have to doctor call you; which would you prefer?” Patient: “I don’t know what to do; nobody told me anything! What do I do?!” Me: “Sir, I’ve told you your options on what we can do. We can book you an appointment or I can have the doctor call you. What would you like to do?” Patient: “The doctor didn’t tell me; WHAT DO I DO?!” Me: “Sir, I’ve told you what your options are, so I guess I’m not understanding what you’re asking me. I can book you a followup appointment or just have the doctor call you.” (After going back and forth like this for a few more minutes, the patient grudgingly decides to book an appointment. After struggling to find a time that works for him, we finally get it scheduled.) Patient: “So, what do I do if I don’t understand something the doctor said?” Me: *at this point frustrated to the point of shaking* “You should probably ask for clarification on something that isn’t clear.” Patient: “So, if I don’t get something, I should ask the doctor or nurse?” Me: “Yes, you should ask questions if you don’t understand something.” Patient: “WELL, NOW YOU’RE JUST INSULTING MY INTELLIGENCE!” Me: *head-desk* |
Literally Sick Of Your Apathy
Employees, England, Hospital, UK | Healthy | January 17, 2019 (I get very severely sick: throwing up anything I try to keep down and having constant diarrhea. I can barely keep juice down. This is exacerbated by the fact I have costochondritis — the cartilage in my ribcage gets inflamed and swells when I get sick, causing mind-numbing amounts of pain. After three days of this, my family forces me to at least go the local triage center if I won’t go to the doctor. I manage to check in with no problem; there are only a few people there so I figure I’ll get seen pretty quickly. An hour passes with people who were there before me and who came AFTER I came in getting in to see the doctors before me. I’m annoyed but hey, they might have seriously bad injuries I can’t see. Then my stomach lurches and I realise I’m all of a minute away from throwing up again.) Me: *painfully walking up to the desk holding my ribs and stomach trying not to vomit* “I need the bathroom key.” Receptionist: *doesn’t even look up from her computer* “No, you don’t. Sit down.” Me: “I am literally about to projectile vomit. I need the bathroom key now.” Receptionist: “Sit down. It’ll pass.” (I barely manage to take another step before I’m forced to bend over and vomit stomach acid and bile on the floor in front of two kids and their mother.) Woman: “Oh, my god!” *rushes over rubbing my back* “Oh, my god. Are you okay, sweetie?” Me: *crying and gagging* “Sorry! Sorry, oh, god. I didn’t mean it!” *throws up again* Woman: “[Son]! Get her some tissues and wipes out of my bag!” *to me* “Oh, it’s okay sweetie; you couldn’t help it.” (The woman and her son managed to help me clean myself up while the two receptionists did nothing. The nice woman helped me sit down again; after ten minutes someone put a slip hazard over the puddle of my vomit but didn’t bother even trying to clean up. Despite that, it still took another hour for me to finally get seen to and just got some painkillers tossed at me, while told I was imagining my costochondritis and to drink fluids.) |
I Don’t Care About You And That’s The Tooth
Dentist, France, Students | Healthy | January 16, 2019 (I’m studying dentistry in France. Like every fourth- to sixth-year students, I work at the dental clinic, which is split into different wards with different dental fields: surgery, emergencies, radiology, etc. The way it is set up is that without A. having been seen in any other ward or B. a letter of referral from your dentist, we cannot remove your tooth, no matter how adamant you are on wanting to have it removed. We’re supervised by professors and have to get an OK from them to do anything, but we do all the work. Unlike most of my fellow students, I don’t take crap from anyone and am not scared to talk back to disrespectful or unruly patients. That led to me being called to talk to them every time one of my friends feel like they can’t handle it and don’t want to call a professor just because of that. Late one afternoon, a guy comes up to the surgery ward wanting us to remove one of his teeth. A friend briefly talks to him then comes and gets me because the guy refuses to understand what he’s telling him.) Patient: “You gotta remove it! It hurts so bad!” Me: “I get it, but I just looked at your file and it’s the first time you’ve ever been here. We don’t even have an X-ray or anything. We can’t risk removing anything without one. We don’t know if we can even keep it! It would be a shame to remove a ‘keepable’ tooth. Go to the emergency ward and check with them. If we can’t keep it, then you just come back up and I’ll remove it personally. You’ve got just enough time to squeeze in. They’re gonna close the admissions in, like, ten minutes, but if you get there before, they’ll see you. I’ll even make sure we keep the surgery ward open in case you come back up to us.” Patient: “But it hurts! I want you to remove it now! I can’t wait at the emergency ward!” (It should be noted that non-traumatic dental emergencies take weeks, if not months to develop. I have very little patience for people who come in after years of neglecting their dental hygiene and command me to do anything right this instant.) Me: “I just told you, you have to go down to the emergency ward. They’ll X-ray it and if we have to remove it, I’ll do it. It won’t take more than thirty minutes, wait time included. They’re not especially busy at the moment, and neither are we.” Patient: “Look into my mouth! If you’re really studying dentistry, you’ll know it can’t be kept!” Me: “Oh, actually, I’m a liberal arts major doing an unpaid internship. I’m not studying dentistry or anything. I can’t help you. Either you get it X-rayed and you come back, or you can go home, take a big pair of pliers, and remove it yourself, for all I care.” (He did go and get it X-rayed and it indeed had to be removed, which I obviously could tell before, but I wasn’t able to bend the rules. And even if I were, I wouldn’t have done it for an impolite bastard like him. Of course, if it had been a life or death situation that couldn’t have waited fifteen minutes, I would have done something for him. It wasn’t one of those.) |
Casting You In A Bad Way
Denmark, Hospital, Nurses | Healthy | January 15, 2019 (When I was younger, I kept breaking my arms and legs. This takes place during that period. I think that I was about six years old. I break my right leg during gym class and go to the hospital with my parents. I go through the whole process of having doctors look disbelievingly at me, because surely my leg couldn’t be broken from such a minor fall; I have extremely brittle bones. However, the x-rays confirm that my leg is indeed broken and that I will need a cast. Right after the nurse has finished putting my cast on:) Nurse: “All done. You can go to your own doctor in six weeks to have the cast removed.” Me: *looking at my mum* “Mum, why is it my other leg that hurts?” (The nurse had put the cast on the wrong leg! I can’t really blame her though. it was pretty late, and she was probably tired and overworked. I was tired, too. That is probably why I didn’t speak up about it being the wrong leg sooner.) |
Can’t Nurse That Gender Stereotype
Bigotry, Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Nurses, Slovenia | Healthy | January 14, 2019 (In Slovenia, as elsewhere, the schools to become a doctor or a nurse are different; medical faculty to become a doctor and faculty of health sciences to become a nurse and other health-related professions. I am a woman, studying to become a doctor and attending medical faculty, wearing a badge saying so when in a hospital. I can’t explain how much every time I have this conversation stresses me out.) Patient: *always a male, sees the badge* “Oh, so you are still in school?” Me: “Oh, yes, I’m close to finishing medicine actually.” (We usually use “medicine” instead of “medical faculty”.) Patient: “So you’re going to be a nurse soon?” (Or:) Random Person: *after finding out I’m still a student* “So what are you studying?” Me: “Medicine, close to being done actually!” Random Person: “Oh, so why do you want to be a nurse?” (This always happens with men. Never women. It’s happened to me over twenty times already and I hear the same stories from other female students. I usually try to gently correct them and most are genuinely confused, but you can imagine how the conversation continues with those that are convinced women should only be nurses.) |
Literally Sick Of Your Apathy
Employees, England, Hospital, UK | Healthy | January 17, 2019 (I get very severely sick: throwing up anything I try to keep down and having constant diarrhea. I can barely keep juice down. This is exacerbated by the fact I have costochondritis — the cartilage in my ribcage gets inflamed and swells when I get sick, causing mind-numbing amounts of pain. After three days of this, my family forces me to at least go the local triage center if I won’t go to the doctor. I manage to check in with no problem; there are only a few people there so I figure I’ll get seen pretty quickly. An hour passes with people who were there before me and who came AFTER I came in getting in to see the doctors before me. I’m annoyed but hey, they might have seriously bad injuries I can’t see. Then my stomach lurches and I realise I’m all of a minute away from throwing up again.) Me: *painfully walking up to the desk holding my ribs and stomach trying not to vomit* “I need the bathroom key.” Receptionist: *doesn’t even look up from her computer* “No, you don’t. Sit down.” Me: “I am literally about to projectile vomit. I need the bathroom key now.” Receptionist: “Sit down. It’ll pass.” (I barely manage to take another step before I’m forced to bend over and vomit stomach acid and bile on the floor in front of two kids and their mother.) Woman: “Oh, my god!” *rushes over rubbing my back* “Oh, my god. Are you okay, sweetie?” Me: *crying and gagging* “Sorry! Sorry, oh, god. I didn’t mean it!” *throws up again* Woman: “[Son]! Get her some tissues and wipes out of my bag!” *to me* “Oh, it’s okay sweetie; you couldn’t help it.” (The woman and her son managed to help me clean myself up while the two receptionists did nothing. The nice woman helped me sit down again; after ten minutes someone put a slip hazard over the puddle of my vomit but didn’t bother even trying to clean up. Despite that, it still took another hour for me to finally get seen to and just got some painkillers tossed at me, while told I was imagining my costochondritis and to drink fluids.) |
I Don’t Care About You And That’s The Tooth
Dentist, France, Students | Healthy | January 16, 2019 (I’m studying dentistry in France. Like every fourth- to sixth-year students, I work at the dental clinic, which is split into different wards with different dental fields: surgery, emergencies, radiology, etc. The way it is set up is that without A. having been seen in any other ward or B. a letter of referral from your dentist, we cannot remove your tooth, no matter how adamant you are on wanting to have it removed. We’re supervised by professors and have to get an OK from them to do anything, but we do all the work. Unlike most of my fellow students, I don’t take crap from anyone and am not scared to talk back to disrespectful or unruly patients. That led to me being called to talk to them every time one of my friends feel like they can’t handle it and don’t want to call a professor just because of that. Late one afternoon, a guy comes up to the surgery ward wanting us to remove one of his teeth. A friend briefly talks to him then comes and gets me because the guy refuses to understand what he’s telling him.) Patient: “You gotta remove it! It hurts so bad!” Me: “I get it, but I just looked at your file and it’s the first time you’ve ever been here. We don’t even have an X-ray or anything. We can’t risk removing anything without one. We don’t know if we can even keep it! It would be a shame to remove a ‘keepable’ tooth. Go to the emergency ward and check with them. If we can’t keep it, then you just come back up and I’ll remove it personally. You’ve got just enough time to squeeze in. They’re gonna close the admissions in, like, ten minutes, but if you get there before, they’ll see you. I’ll even make sure we keep the surgery ward open in case you come back up to us.” Patient: “But it hurts! I want you to remove it now! I can’t wait at the emergency ward!” (It should be noted that non-traumatic dental emergencies take weeks, if not months to develop. I have very little patience for people who come in after years of neglecting their dental hygiene and command me to do anything right this instant.) Me: “I just told you, you have to go down to the emergency ward. They’ll X-ray it and if we have to remove it, I’ll do it. It won’t take more than thirty minutes, wait time included. They’re not especially busy at the moment, and neither are we.” Patient: “Look into my mouth! If you’re really studying dentistry, you’ll know it can’t be kept!” Me: “Oh, actually, I’m a liberal arts major doing an unpaid internship. I’m not studying dentistry or anything. I can’t help you. Either you get it X-rayed and you come back, or you can go home, take a big pair of pliers, and remove it yourself, for all I care.” (He did go and get it X-rayed and it indeed had to be removed, which I obviously could tell before, but I wasn’t able to bend the rules. And even if I were, I wouldn’t have done it for an impolite bastard like him. Of course, if it had been a life or death situation that couldn’t have waited fifteen minutes, I would have done something for him. It wasn’t one of those.) |
Casting You In A Bad Way
Denmark, Hospital, Nurses | Healthy | January 15, 2019 (When I was younger, I kept breaking my arms and legs. This takes place during that period. I think that I was about six years old. I break my right leg during gym class and go to the hospital with my parents. I go through the whole process of having doctors look disbelievingly at me, because surely my leg couldn’t be broken from such a minor fall; I have extremely brittle bones. However, the x-rays confirm that my leg is indeed broken and that I will need a cast. Right after the nurse has finished putting my cast on:) Nurse: “All done. You can go to your own doctor in six weeks to have the cast removed.” Me: *looking at my mum* “Mum, why is it my other leg that hurts?” (The nurse had put the cast on the wrong leg! I can’t really blame her though. it was pretty late, and she was probably tired and overworked. I was tired, too. That is probably why I didn’t speak up about it being the wrong leg sooner.) |
Can’t Nurse That Gender Stereotype
Bigotry, Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Nurses, Slovenia | Healthy | January 14, 2019 (In Slovenia, as elsewhere, the schools to become a doctor or a nurse are different; medical faculty to become a doctor and faculty of health sciences to become a nurse and other health-related professions. I am a woman, studying to become a doctor and attending medical faculty, wearing a badge saying so when in a hospital. I can’t explain how much every time I have this conversation stresses me out.) Patient: *always a male, sees the badge* “Oh, so you are still in school?” Me: “Oh, yes, I’m close to finishing medicine actually.” (We usually use “medicine” instead of “medical faculty”.) Patient: “So you’re going to be a nurse soon?” (Or:) Random Person: *after finding out I’m still a student* “So what are you studying?” Me: “Medicine, close to being done actually!” Random Person: “Oh, so why do you want to be a nurse?” (This always happens with men. Never women. It’s happened to me over twenty times already and I hear the same stories from other female students. I usually try to gently correct them and most are genuinely confused, but you can imagine how the conversation continues with those that are convinced women should only be nurses.) |
Just A Spoonful Of Forcefulness Makes The Medicine Go Down
Bad Behavior, Doctor/Physician, Florida, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | January 13, 2019 (I am seventeen years old and visiting a doctor with my dad concerning my severe anxiety problems. My dad has resisted taking me to see any therapy or psychiatry specialists for a long time, but has finally relented after realizing the issues I’ve been having aren’t just “hormones.” To my knowledge, this isn’t at a psychiatrist’s office, but a regular doctor — I think for insurance purposes. The first visit results in an anti-depressant medication for some reason. This first medication makes me less anxious but also causes me to sleep upwards of FIFTEEN HOURS a day, and I am incoherent and running into things, falling over, etc., within twenty minutes of taking it each day. I even have difficulty getting up out of a chair to walk the ten feet to my bed after taking it. I remember falling constantly and being hazy. The second visit results in a different medication that doesn’t have any noticeable effect, and also no real side effects, either. This third visit is the check-in to see how the [second medication] was working.) Me: “I don’t know that these are working properly. I don’t feel anything different. I’m still anxious all the time.” Doctor: “So. This medication isn’t working. Why are you depressed? Your mother — she loves you? Your father loves you? Think of happy things.” Me: “Um. I’m not depressed. I have anxiety problems with insomnia and persistent heart palpitations.” Doctor: “Okay, so, this medicine isn’t working. We’ll switch back to [first medicine]. [First medicine] worked.” Me: “It… didn’t work, though. I wasn’t anxious because I was really sedated. I was sleeping almost the entire day and night.” Doctor: “Yes. So, first medicine worked. Here’s a prescription.” Me: “I’m not taking that again. It was awful.” Doctor: “It worked. You will take [first medicine] again.” Me: “No.” (The doctor then ignores me completely and turns to my dad, instead.) Doctor: *oddly firm and creepy* “The [first medicine] worked. She will take it.” Dad: *pause* “Yeah, okay. Give me the script.” (My dad took the script and we trashed it when we got to the car. It had gotten to the point where my dad was concerned the doctor was going to claim parental negligence and call CPS on him if he agreed with me! We never went back to that doctor again, and I’ve since had a lot of traditional therapy and am doing much better. Did I mention that doctor owned the pharmacy attached to his office? Shocker.) |
Way Past Due For Some Bedside Manners
Dallas, Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Jerk, Texas, USA | Healthy | January 12, 2019 (I am pregnant with my firstborn. After a great deal of reading up on the subject and a conversation with my uncle, a prominent obstetrician, we decide to use a certified nurse-midwife and a birthing center. Unfortunately, the due date comes and goes, despite multiple efforts at bringing on labor naturally, including walks, cohosh, and cod-liver oil. Finally, the midwife sets it up for us to go to the nearby hospital for some Pitocin to be applied topically. By this point, I’ve been lying on a table in a cubicle for several hours and am already stressed out because of the overdue baby and because I’ve had to go to the hospital. I am sure they will make me stay, and I don’t want that. Finally, a resident walks in. He pokes around for a bit.) Resident #1 : “How many days past due are you?” Me: “Nine days.” Resident #1 : “You know, the fetal mortality rate spikes after fourteen days.” (The resident walks out. Later, a different, female resident comes in. She pokes around for a while. Then:) Resident #2 : “Your cervix is off to the side.” (The resident walks out. By now, I’m hysterical. Thankfully, the midwife phones right that minute to check on me. I blubber out what the resident said about the cervix.) Midwife: “She just means that it’s off to the side right now. It will move into position as part of labor.” (I still think that the first resident’s completely gratuitous information was because he was annoyed that he wouldn’t get to do a delivery. The kicker? My contractions started the minute we were in the parking deck on our way out of there. Our son was born about nine hours later, in the birthing center, with the midwife.) |
No Meat In Your Diet Or In His Brain
Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, UK | Healthy | January 11, 2019 CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice. (I have a health plan provided by my employer. One of the benefits of the plan is a yearly health check. Once all is complete, I get a call from a “medical professional” to go over the results. I’m pretty healthy except for a bad cholesterol level. After talking on the phone about the rest of the results and my diet preferences, we get to my cholesterol.) Medical Professional: “Based on the results from the blood sample, we have noticed that you have a very high bad cholesterol level.” *explains the difference between good and bad cholesterol* “…so we really do need to try and bring your bad cholesterol down. We can do this through medication and by controlling your diet. I would start with reducing the amount of red meat and dairy you consume. Me: “I’m vegetarian, so I don’t eat meat, and I have an allergy to dairy.” Medical Professional: “That’s good, very good. That’s a good start to reduce your meat intake, and the dairy, like cheese.” Me: “Well, I’m vegetarian, so my meat intake is zero; I’ve been vegetarian for around twenty years. I’m also lactose intolerant and have an allergy which means I haven’t eaten cheese, milk, or any other dairy, like cream, in about ten years.” Medical Professional: “Great, so that’s great. It’s settled; you will reduce your red meat and dairy.” Me: “I haven’t eaten meat in twenty years, and I’ve been allergic to dairy for over ten years.” Medical Professional: “So, you’ll reduce your meat and dairy? With your cholesterol being so high, I really do think you should consider some diet changes and reduce the intake of meat and dairy.” (Pause.) Me: “Could you please help me to understand how to reduce meat and dairy when I haven’t eaten any meat in over twenty years and I haven’t eaten dairy in over ten?” (After about two or three minutes of being on hold:) Medical Professional: “I think you should arrange an appointment with your doctor to go over these results, as you aren’t listening my advice.” (Two weeks later in the doctor’s office:) Doctor: “You should reduce your intake of meat and dairy.” Me: “I’m vegetarian; I haven’t eaten meat in twenty years and I have a dairy allergy.” Doctor: “Well, in that case, let’s go through what other options are available for you.” Me: “Perfect… Let’s do that.” |
The 1950s Called; They Want Their Medical Results
Bigotry, Hospital, Jerk, Kentucky, Nurses, Strangers, Students, USA | Friendly Healthy | January 10, 2019 (My husband is having a day-long series of medical tests at a Veterans Administration hospital in Kentucky. I drove him there, so I am camping out in the waiting room working on some homework on my laptop for the supply chain management courses I am taking online. I have been working for about an hour and a half when I am approached by an elderly man.) Elderly Man: “What are you doing on that computer?” Me: “I am a Transportation and Logistics Management student at [Well-Respected Online college]. I am working on the homework for my supply chain management courses.” Elderly Man: “Why aren’t you going to nursing school?! Nursing is the only respectable occupation for a woman!” Me: “What? I can’t qualify for nursing school because I had a stroke a few years ago and my right hand is partially paralyzed.” (I hold up my right hand and show that I can only use my middle finger and thumb.) Elderly Man: “But you could be a nurse if you tried harder! Why are you playing with that silly supply chain management stuff? Only men do that!” Me: “I also have an active Class-A commercial driver’s license to drive tractor trailers.” *reaches into my purse to pull out my license* “I like transportation!” Elderly Man: “But nurses are so sweet! You should be sweet like a nurse!” *motions to one of the VA nurses* (The VA nurse chimes in:) VA Nurse: “I wouldn’t want her as a nurse with that hand of hers. She would never pass nursing school, anyway. I have met [My Name] before, and that woman is planning on going to law school after she finishes her bachelor’s degree because of the way she has argued her husband’s VA disability claim.” Elderly Man: “How disgraceful! A woman working as a truck driver and wanting to become a lawyer! Why can’t women be sweet and realize their place in the world?!” (I put my earbuds on and cranked some Bon Jovi on my laptop and tried to ignore the old coot until he was called for his appointment.) |
He’s Got A Bad Case Of The Clap
Ignoring & Inattentive, Maine, Medical Office, Patients, USA | Healthy Right | January 9, 2019 (My husband is the customer in this one. He’s at his appointment to check his numbers for high blood pressure to see if he would be okay on his current prescription or not. While it’s important to note that he doesn’t have a hearing problem, he does tend to not listen, and sometimes it can be rather amusing.) Doctor: “Now, breathe deeply.” Husband: *does so* Doctor: “Cough.” Husband: “Clap?” Doctor: “Cough.” Me: “She said, ‘cough,’ dear.” Husband: “Clap?” *claps* (All three of us started laughing. The doctor admitted it made her day. I’ve teased him since about putting this online.) |
Your Body Needs To Literally Eat Itself Before You Can Take A Break
Bosses & Owners, Canada, Doctor/Physician, Jerk, New Brunswick, Retail | Healthy Working | January 8, 2019 CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice. (I have Dermatomyositis. It’s a rather rare autoimmune disease, best simplified as: without medication, my immune system eats my muscle tissue. When the more worrying symptoms appear, my doctor has me go in for a rushed blood test — ten vials — first thing in the morning, and then tries to call me at work that afternoon after she gets the results. I am working at a store, on cash, ringing through customers, and I hear the service desk page the cash supervisor several times over the course of maybe a half-hour, telling her she has a call waiting on the line. I notice the frequency of the pages.) Me: *thinking* “Wow, I hope she doesn’t have a family emergency.” (At one point, the cash supervisor comes up to me while I’m in the middle of a transaction and tells me to turn my light off, then stands in front of my counter behind the customer to make sure no one else comes up to my till. Once the customer is rung through and out the door, she hands me a piece of paper with my doctor’s phone number and says I need to call her. My doctor wants to see me right away, which I explain to my supervisor, and she lets me go. I cab down to my doctor, and she tells me I most likely have Dermatomyositis — later confirmed by a muscle biopsy — gives me a prescription, and puts me on sick leave for six weeks, because she wants me to take it easy so that the damaged muscles can heal. All those times I had heard paging for my supervisor to pick up the phone over the course of a half-hour? That had been my doctor trying to get a hold of me, and it took a long time before my supervisor finally answered. Here’s roughly how the conversation went, according to my doctor:) Doctor: “This is [Doctor], and I need to speak to [My Name].” Supervisor: “Is this an emergency?” Doctor: “I am a doctor wanting to speak to my patient. YES, it’s an emergency!” 1 Thumbs 741 208 Share The Top Rated Posts Of 2018! Roundups | Friendly Healthy Learning Legal Related Right Romantic Working | January 7, 2019 Dear readers, It’s time to reveal the twenty highest-rated stories from 2018! 20 – Playing Unfair With The Fairer Sex 19 – That Is “Pretty” Awesome, Part 2 18 – Bagged Far More Than He Bargained For 17 – The Cake Price Is A Lie 16 – The Bosses Need To Clean Up Their Act 15 – Brunch Time Crunch Time 14 – There’s No Business Like None Of Your Business 13 – Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 11 12 – Dusting Off The Scum 11 – Fart Jokes Exist In A Vacuum 10 – Goodbye Fighting, Hello Kitty 9 – Mouse Versus Evil 8 – Must Be Friends With Aaron Schlossberg 7 – Man, What A Wait! 6 – This Prank Has A Drinking Problem 5 – The Best Comeback Since Sliced Bread 4 – Treat It Like A Boss 3 – Has The Authority To Tell You How It Is 2 – A Reversal Of Fortune 1 – The Adventures Of Captain Camp And Mother Russia Do you have a favorite story from 2018 that didn’t make the top twenty? Don’t worry; you can still push to give it an honorable mention by telling us your best story here. 1 Thumbs 44 10 Share BMI = Bad Model For Increase Florida, Jerk, Middle School, Nurses, Patients, USA | Healthy | January 7, 2019 (At the end of seventh grade, I am sent home with a letter from the school nurse stating that my BMI is too high, I’m therefore overweight, and I need to be seen by my pediatrician. My pediatrician tells my mother that since I am extremely active, my diet is healthy, and my weight gain is obviously due to an impending growth spurt, to not worry about the weight for now. Over summer break I grow five inches taller. At this point, I’m looking rather scrawny, as it happens when children have large growth spurts. When school starts back up, I get called back into the school nurse’s office. She starts questioning me as to whether everything is all right at home, how is school, am I making friends, am I getting bullied, etc. She finally gets around to the point that she believes I have an eating disorder! I start laughing.) Me: “Are you joking? I weigh 150 pounds! You said I was fat three months ago!” School Nurse: “There is no way you weigh 150 pounds. You’ve obviously been starving yourself to get thin. It’s not healthy to do this to yourself.” Me: “I’m a runner and play other sports. I grew five inches taller over the summer. I haven’t lost any weight. Got a scale? I’ll prove it.” (I got on the scale and, lo and behold, I actually weighed 155 pounds. The school nurse thought there was something wrong with it and weighed herself. She weighed me again and realized that it was correct! She couldn’t resolve in her head that at 5’4” and 155 pounds I looked underweight due to my muscle mass versus body fat percentage. She called my mother, at which point my mother yelled at her to stopped harassing me about my weight or she was going to the principal over it.) 1 Thumbs 575 237 Share Health Care(less), Part 4 Awesome, Doctor/Physician, Insurance, Maryland, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, USA | Healthy | January 5, 2019 In the spring of 2000, I came down with a cold that lingered nearly two weeks, then got weird. I went to see the doctor and she ordered several tests to be done at the hospital next door to the office building. It was there that I was told that one of the tests she wanted done — a pulse oximeter reading — required pre-approval from my insurance company, which would take about three days to go through the process. When I told my doctor about that, she was furious. It was a fairly simple test, but her office did not have the necessary equipment. Once she had a break between patients, she marched over to the hospital and spoke to a friend who worked in the emergency department. She then brought my husband and me through the back hallways to her friend, who placed a clip that looked like a clothespin on my finger. In a couple of seconds, the nearby machine showed the necessary data and I was finished with the test in less than five minutes. I was never billed for it. It turned out that I had pneumonia. I was sent home with the needed prescriptions and instructions. I was back to normal in a few days. The next time I went to that doctor, she told me that the office had acquired their own equipment. It’s now eighteen years later, and her office has several of them. I noticed this morning that you can buy one online for about the price of two fast-food hamburger dinners. And the insurance company had wanted three days before approving the procedure! Related: Health Care(less), Part 3 Health Care(less), Part 2 Health Care(less) 1 Thumbs 438 492 Share Monthly Roundup: December 2018 Roundups | Friendly Healthy Hopeless Learning Legal Related Right Romantic Working | January 3, 2019 It’s time for the December roundup! Our editors have decided among themselves which stories in December deserve the extra attention, regardless of the number of thumbs-ups they received. Out of the 821 stories we posted in the month, we’ve singled out nineteen. If there are any stories from the last month you feel we should have included, please let us know in the comments! Don’t forget to vote for your favorite stories in the poll below! Note: You can choose up to three*. He’s From Iowa, But He Works In Outer Space – A presentation of the history of the future. Innocent Until They Prove Themselves Guilty – Stupidity isn’t a crime, but it can help! A Child’s Priorities Are The Ultimate Christmas Gift – Don’t try to use your children to guilt employees for your poor Christmas planning! Good Customer Service Doesn’t Grow On Trees – This year’s Christmas is a bit buggy. You Can’t Dismiss The Karma On This One – Taking the boss to court makes for VERY satisfying reading. Saved By Their Spidey-Sense – Spiders + Cars = Outcome you might not expect. Laughter Really Is The Best Medicine – We grow old… we don’t always grow up! That’s One Prescription Of Holiday Cheer – Next time you say you’re sick of the holidays, think about the people who are sick ON the holidays. A Needling Suspicion Of What Happened – Dentistry so bad it makes you numb. Hamming It Up Over Other People’s Religions – Guess what? Other religions exist, regardless of how delicious ham is. They’re Not The Only One With A Child – Even MORE poor parental planning! He’s About To Get A Chile Reception – Fighting scammers level 1000! Unable To Mathematically Compensate For Discrimination – You’re not disabled until someone else disables you. No Need To Pardon This French – The city of light racism. In Great Loss There Can Be Great Kindness – The onion-chopping department is open. “Nice Guys” Usually Aren’t – Be nice to the girl, then get sex. That’s how it works. Way Better Than What Neelix Can Cook Up – To boldly cook what never has been cooked before! This Joke Is On The Spectrum – Jokes about autism don’t have to be offensive. Appearances Can’t Be Deceiving – Pure blind justice! [poll id=”20″] *Not Always Hopeless stories are not included in the poll. This is because often they are so lovely they win by default. |
BMI = Bad Model For Increase
Florida, Jerk, Middle School, Nurses, Patients, USA | Healthy | January 7, 2019 (At the end of seventh grade, I am sent home with a letter from the school nurse stating that my BMI is too high, I’m therefore overweight, and I need to be seen by my pediatrician. My pediatrician tells my mother that since I am extremely active, my diet is healthy, and my weight gain is obviously due to an impending growth spurt, to not worry about the weight for now. Over summer break I grow five inches taller. At this point, I’m looking rather scrawny, as it happens when children have large growth spurts. When school starts back up, I get called back into the school nurse’s office. She starts questioning me as to whether everything is all right at home, how is school, am I making friends, am I getting bullied, etc. She finally gets around to the point that she believes I have an eating disorder! I start laughing.) Me: “Are you joking? I weigh 150 pounds! You said I was fat three months ago!” School Nurse: “There is no way you weigh 150 pounds. You’ve obviously been starving yourself to get thin. It’s not healthy to do this to yourself.” Me: “I’m a runner and play other sports. I grew five inches taller over the summer. I haven’t lost any weight. Got a scale? I’ll prove it.” (I got on the scale and, lo and behold, I actually weighed 155 pounds. The school nurse thought there was something wrong with it and weighed herself. She weighed me again and realized that it was correct! She couldn’t resolve in her head that at 5’4” and 155 pounds I looked underweight due to my muscle mass versus body fat percentage. She called my mother, at which point my mother yelled at her to stopped harassing me about my weight or she was going to the principal over it.) |
Health Care(less), Part 4
Awesome, Doctor/Physician, Insurance, Maryland, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, USA | Healthy | January 5, 2019 In the spring of 2000, I came down with a cold that lingered nearly two weeks, then got weird. I went to see the doctor and she ordered several tests to be done at the hospital next door to the office building. It was there that I was told that one of the tests she wanted done — a pulse oximeter reading — required pre-approval from my insurance company, which would take about three days to go through the process. When I told my doctor about that, she was furious. It was a fairly simple test, but her office did not have the necessary equipment. Once she had a break between patients, she marched over to the hospital and spoke to a friend who worked in the emergency department. She then brought my husband and me through the back hallways to her friend, who placed a clip that looked like a clothespin on my finger. In a couple of seconds, the nearby machine showed the necessary data and I was finished with the test in less than five minutes. I was never billed for it. It turned out that I had pneumonia. I was sent home with the needed prescriptions and instructions. I was back to normal in a few days. The next time I went to that doctor, she told me that the office had acquired their own equipment. It’s now eighteen years later, and her office has several of them. I noticed this morning that you can buy one online for about the price of two fast-food hamburger dinners. And the insurance company had wanted three days before approving the procedure! |
Health Care(less), Part 3
Call Center, Insurance | Right | October 7, 2011 (I get a lot of billing questions on the phone.) Customer: *irately* “I need to know why my insurance was canceled at the end of July.” (I look up his policy in our database.) Me: “Sir, you haven’t paid your bill since May.” Customer: “I have to pay my bill?” |
Health Care(less), Part 2
Medical Office | Right | June 18, 2011 (A patient comes in for a follow-up. I check their insurance card for charges.) Me: “It seems that you have a $25 charge. You can pay that in cash, check, or credit card.” Patient: “I don’t have charges anymore.” Me: “Oh, did you get a new insurance company?” Patient: “No, I just don’t have charges anymore.” Me: “Do you have a new card that reflects that change? If not, I’m required to collect your charge. Then, if it turns out you don’t have one, we will refund it to you.” Patient: “No, I don’t have a new card. But President Obama says I don’t have to pay.” Me: “The president told you that you don’t have to pay?” Patient: “Yeah. He says that Americans get healthcare for free now.” Me: “Oh, I understand now. However, I think you’ve misunderstood. The Healthcare Bill doesn’t eliminate charges except for preventative, and doesn’t make healthcare free. It just restructures some health insurance policy and such. And it hasn’t gone into effect yet. So, you still have a charge.” (She reluctantly pays her charge.) Patient: “Expect to hear from President Obama about this. And don’t expect any sympathy either when he gives you the chair.” |
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