Health Care stories

This Nurse Doesn’t Get A Thumbs Up
Australia, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, New South Wales, Nurses, Sydney | Healthy | September 10, 2018
(I am thirteen years old. I break my wrist and end up with a fibreglass cast. After about six weeks, when it is time to get it off, my dad takes me to a medical centre. The nurse who is allocated to the task of removing it is a little abrupt when describing the process, but in a way that makes me think she is just busy.)

Nurse: “So, we’ll be using this saw to cut along the length of the cast on your arm and then make a cut around the thumb. You’ll feel a small tickling sensation.”

Me: “Sounds good; ready when you are!”

(The nurse inserts what is essentially a wooden tongue depressor under the cast so that the drill hits that and not skin, and then cuts along the length of my arm. It feels fine; there’s no pain or tickling. The nurse changes to the thumb section, puts the wooden thing under the cast, and starts to saw. I start to realize that it’s hurting rather than kind of vibrating.)

Me: “Um, that’s actually kind of hurting; can we stop?”

Nurse: *stops, but scoffs* “We can’t stop! Do you want a cast on your arm forever?”

Me: “Um, no, it just really hurts.”

Dad: *getting concerned* “She’s normally pretty good with pain; can we try it a different way?”

Nurse: “There’s no other way to do it. We need to cut it loose around the thumb, and I’m nearly done, anyway!”

(FINALLY, after about a minute of me trying to hold still and not flinch, the cut around my thumb was finally done and the cast could be removed. As soon as it came off, the nurse went white, kind of muttered something about getting a doctor, and walked out of the room. I then looked down and realised my thumb was dripping with blood, because the saw wasn’t sitting on the wooden depressor but instead cutting into my hand the whole time. My hand was fine, and the cut was super-glued shut, which gave me a fun story to tell at school for a week! To all nurses out there: I understand how busy and overworked you are, and that sometimes people complain of pain when there’s really nothing there, but sometimes there is something wrong with your routine procedure!)

Smearing Your Education
Alabama, Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | September 8, 2018
(At the age of 19 my mother decides it is time for me to get my first pap smear and checkup with a gynecologist. My appointment starts out normally; the nurse is very nice and explains what will happen, before leaving me alone to change into a gown. I settle myself on the table before the doctor comes in. He is an older man in his late 50s, rather heavy set, and with a bulbous nose.)

Ob/Gyn: “Good morning! So, what brings you in today?”

Me: “I recently turned 19, and my mother suggested it was time for me to get my first pap smear, since I am sexually active.”

Ob/Gyn: “Your mom is silly to worry about that. You really shouldn’t be here before you’re 23.”

Me: *remains silent as the doctor explains the procedure again*

Ob/Gyn: “So, are you a student? What are you studying?”

Me: *not wanting to explain my complex writing major* “Oh, I’m majoring in English.”

Ob/Gyn: “So, what are you going to do with that other than be unemployed?” *chuckles* “Serve burgers?”

(The rest of my appointment was spent in stony silence while the doctor began an already nerve-wracking and intimate procedure.)

Doesn’t Always Feel Good Getting Stoned
Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, Ohio, USA | Healthy | September 5, 2018
(I’ve been having awful pains for months now. I keep bringing it up to my family doctor, who passes it off as period cramps, as I’m a twenty-something female. I finally talk him into looking into it more, and he says it might be a kidney stone. I get referred to a urologist, all while being told, “I still think it’s period cramps.” I go in for my first visit after taking an x-ray.)

New Doctor: “Okay, so, where is your pain at?”

Me: “It’s mostly on my right side, a little bit higher up.”

(He looks at where I’m pointing, then at some paperwork. He shuffles through it a bit.)

New Doctor: “Okay, yeah. You have a kidney stone. It’s a good-sized one, too. We’re going to get some more images of it to confirm size and position before we talk about how to deal with it. Any questions about that?”

Me: “I… don’t think so. You’re sure it’s a kidney stone?”

New Doctor: “Unless you have a frozen pea in your urinary tract, it’s a stone.”

(I ended up having surgery, and passed it all with no problem. My family doctor never blamed pain on period cramps again.)

The Last Time The Medicine Was A Steal
Georgia, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | September 2, 2018
(I work in a retail pharmacy. One day a patient brings in a prescription for a blood pressure monitor. My coworker is taking prescriptions.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t fill this. We sell them over the counter but we can’t bill them to insurance.” *tries to hand it back*

Patient: *upset* “Yes, you can fill them. I had one filled here a few years ago.”

Coworker: “We have never been able to fill blood pressure monitors; our company isn’t authorized to dispense medical equipment.”

Patient: *angry* “Then it must have been before you started here, but I had one filled at this store!”

Coworker: *getting frustrated* “I have worked at this store since it opened eleven years ago, and have been in the pharmacy for seven years, and we have never dispensed blood pressure monitors.”

Patient: “Yes, you have! The first time I brought a prescription in, the pharmacist showed me where they were, handed me one, and I walked out with it!”

Coworker: *shocked* “If you walked out with it, then you just walked out with it.”

Patient: “I am not a thief! I have never stolen anything in my life!” *stomps off*

(She called corporate on my coworker for “calling her a thief,” but we had already sent an email to our district manager detailing the incident, so nothing came of it.)

A Controlled Substance For A Controlling Patient
Impossible Demands, Patients, USA, Vet | Healthy | September 1, 2018
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Animal Hospital]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Client: “Hi, I just moved from [State] and need a refill of phenobarbital for my dog.”

(Phenobarbital is used as a seizure medication in dogs, and it is a controlled substance because of its potential for abuse.)

Me: “Okay, we actually can’t get you any medication without examining your dog, but I would be happy to set up an appointment for you. Then we can certainly get your dog some medication. We have a few appointments left today, or we could set something up at a more convenient time.”

Client: “I don’t want an exam; he just needs more of his seizure medication.”

Me: “Ma’am, we can’t prescribe him anything without an exam first.”

Client: “But he’s been on it for years; you can ask my old vet.”

Me: “Unfortunately, one veterinary clinic is not able to act as a pharmacy for a different veterinarian. We cannot give you any medication without examining your dog.”

(At this point my coworkers are starting to listen to my end of the phone call, amused as I repeat myself.)

Client: “But he just needs his medication.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but a vet must have a relationship with a patient in order to prescribe any medication. It’s not just a clinic policy; if one of our doctors prescribed you medication without examining your dog she could lose her license.”

Client: “Ugh, how much would an exam cost?”

Me: “$46.”

Client: “I think I’ll call some other places first.”

Me: “Have a great day. Give us a call if you decide to come in for an exam.”

(I hang up the phone.)

Me: *to my watching coworkers* “She can call around all she wants, but she’s not going to find a vet who will prescribe a controlled substance to a dog he’s never examined.”

It’s A Matter Of Record That They Don’t Update Their Records
Ignoring & Inattentive, Jerk, Medical Office, Patients, USA | Healthy | August 31, 2018
(I am a medical assistant and a large part of my day is getting patients into rooms and asking all of the questions before a doctor sees them. This scenario happens far too often

Me: “Okay, let’s go over your med list.”

Patient: “It’s all up to date.”

Me: “I know we do this at every visit, but we do it to make sure there aren’t duplicates or old meds that didn’t fall off.”

Patient: *with a heavy, dramatic sigh, dripping with disdainful attitude while slouching in their chair in protest* “I know it’s up to date, but okay.”

(I list one or two medications and they sigh dramatically and impatiently reply that, YES, it is one they’re taking. Some will use medical abbreviations such as PRN as if it’ll make me suddenly believe them. Then, this happens

Me: “[Medication]?”

Patient: *sitting up in full alert* “I’m not taking that anymore! Why is that on there?”

Me: “I couldn’t tell you, but I’ll discontinue it on your chart. When did you stop taking it?”

(The patient now usually gives some date preceding at least two appointments in our clinic, and usually because the patient decided to stop taking it or an outside provider advised the change, not something we would know unless they tell us. Usually, at this point the patient’s attention becomes devoted to correcting this grave error as if we are just randomly inserting old medications for grins and giggles. I’ve only ever had one acknowledge that his attitude should probably change regarding his contributions to the accuracy of his medical records.)

Need Some Protective Services From That Nurse
Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Jerk, Nurses, USA, Washington | Healthy | August 30, 2018
(I’ve just had my first child. I went into labor at night and he was born just after midnight. My boyfriend manages to get the next morning off, but as he’s the assistant manager of a dock, he has to go in the next afternoon. I’m not worried, as there’s not much concern for me or my son. The next day, my OBGYN comes in.)

Doctor: “Hey, [My Name], how are you feeling?”

Me: “Still sore. Is everything all right?”

Doctor: “Oh, yeah. I just want to let you know that a nurse wanted me to call Child Protection Services for you.”

(I freak out a bit, but he laughs.)

Doctor: “Don’t worry; I won’t. Apparently, because of your boyfriend having to go to work, she didn’t think you guys were capable of taking care of your son. It’s pretty stupid.”

(I relaxed after that. My son came home a day later and, with some help from friends, we had no problems with taking care of him.)

Allergic To Bad Nurses
Hospital, Jerk, Non-Dialogue, Nurses, Patients, UK | Healthy | August 29, 2018
I have been dating my boyfriend for a few years. He is allergic to nuts. Eating them makes him very sick, so since we started dating I have stayed away from nuts, out of fear of cross contamination making him sick.

This particular day my work was doing a bake sale for charity. One of the things for sale was a Reese’s Pieces brownie, with whole chunks of peanut. I was very happy to have a place where it would be safe for me to have peanuts, so I bought one and ate it straight away.

Pretty much instantly I thought that my tongue felt a bit strange, but being an idiot I thought it was just my imagination and I ate that brownie in about half a minute.

In the next few minutes my thoughts went from, “My mouth feels a little strange,” to, “It’s definitely getting harder to breathe.” I mentioned this to my manager, a first aider, but she thought I was joking. So I went to the receptionist, also a first aider, and mentioned it to her. She realised I wasn’t joking and panicked, running to get my manager.

An ambulance was called and the staff sat with me as I waited and waited, in discomfort, and with no idea if it was going to get any worse. I vaguely remember joking to the baker that “these brownies are killer.” I thought it was funny at the time. Pretty sure she didn’t.

After about 45 minutes with no ambulance, they called 999 again. That’s when we found out that the first ambulance couldn’t find their way into the office block — through the clearly-marked entrance — so they just gave up.

The second ambulance came, and a decision to go to hospital was made, considering that I had no history of an allergy.

We got to A & E and it was unsurprisingly busy. The paramedics were told to put me in resus until another bed cleared, as there was a space in there. They gave me antihistamines and steroids, and by this point I was feeling a lot better, but a secondary reaction was possible, so I still needed an eye on me.

That’s when a nurse came in with a face like thunder, took one look at me, and declared to the whole room at full volume, “She’s not sick! She shouldn’t be in here!”

She repeated this several times, while I just sat there nervously; I’m anxious enough most days, without someone telling me off for being somewhere I have no control over. I had no idea how to respond, so I just sat there ignoring her. She wasn’t doing anything except look at me and make these comments again and again.

Eventually they found a normal bed to put me in, and I got moved, but as they moved me, she declared to the medics and porters around her, “See?! I told you she’s not sick!”

A later blood test confirmed that I had developed a peanut allergy at 23. Luckily I didn’t have a secondary reaction, and it was a pretty easy lifestyle change to avoid, since I was already avoiding them for my partner.

Ankle-Deep In Misdiagnoses
Baltimore, Hospital, Maryland, Non-Dialogue, Nurses, Stupid, USA | Healthy | August 29, 2018
I am going down the steps from my porch and misstep, and end up breaking my leg in three places right near my ankle. It is a Friday night, so I can’t get an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon until Monday.

When I go in for my appointment, I first see a nurse assistant with a very unique name. We talk about how it happened and my medical history. And because I’m female, she asks when my last period was. It has been almost a year. I’m on continuous birth control, despite not being sexually active, because during that time of the month, my migraines and fibromyalgia get to the point where I can’t function. She then goes to get the doctor, and from the room she has taken us to, we hear an argument break out over “who cancelled the appointment of the broken ankle girl.” I still don’t see how that’s possible, considering we made that appointment only an hour earlier. I end up being seen by another doctor with more of a specialty in what I need, so it works out and I forget about the weirdness.

Fast forward a week to when I can finally have surgery. I’m in the hospital gown, have an IV in, and I’m being asked the same questions again and again: spell my name, what’s my birth date, etc. Finally the nurse looks at me funny and looks at my ankle splint — which has a ton of padding and is massive — and tells me, “I know it seems obvious, but I need you to tell me what you’re here for.” I tell her to fix my ankle. She nods and tells me that that nurse assistant — I remember her unique name — had put me down as coming in for a hysterectomy. I’m not sure if she was trying to — inaccurately — note in my file that I’d had one because I hadn’t had my period in a year, or somehow managed to screw up why I was seeing an orthopedic surgeon when I had three broken bones. But I guess that will forever be a mystery.

Dated And Hated
Bad Behavior, Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Malaysia | Healthy | August 29, 2018
(I have a bad flu that doesn’t get better for two weeks, resulting in me coughing out bloody phlegm. I go to the hospital to get a checkup to see if anything is really wrong. When I get called into the clinic, the doctor, probably in his 50s or so, asks me about my sickness. He has this really smug look on his face, and I don’t think much about it until I start telling him about my symptoms. When I tell him that my illness began two weeks ago, he gets pissed off. He throws a calendar at me

Doctor: “Don’t tell me when; tell me the exact date. Point it out on the calendar.”

(I am dazed and try to recall the exact date I got sick. Meanwhile, he is mumbling about how youngsters have a worse memory than he does. I get pissed off, as well, from his attitude. I slam the calendar onto the table and point at the date. It isn’t the exact date but somewhere there. I take a wild guess.)

Doctor: “I suspect that you may have tuberculosis, but it’s still too early to get an x-ray because it wouldn’t show up. So, you may or may not have it. I don’t know.”

(After that, he had the d*** nerve to say I didn’t respect him, for slamming the calendar on the table. He prescribed antibiotics and I got better. Thank heavens I didn’t have to go back and see him.)

Taking A Second Shot At Charging You
Billing, Jerk, Medical Office, Oregon, USA | Healthy | August 28, 2018
(I went to a doctor appointment, and during that appointment they were suppose to give me a tetanus shot. They gave me the wrong shot. So I had to go back into the doctor later to get the tetanus shot I was suppose to get the first time. When I went back in, I just got the shot, then left; no other service was provided. I then get a bill for the second visit, and this exchange happens when I call their billing department.)

Me: “I am calling regarding a bill I got. I don’t think I should be charged for this appointment because the only reason I had to come in was because of an error by the nurse.”

Billing: “I show here you had an appointment on [first date] and you paid your copay; is that correct?”

Me: “Yes.”

Billing: “Then I show you had a follow up appointment on [second date], and you did not pay your copay. That is why we are billing you.”

Me: “That’s why I’m calling. The appointment on the [second date] was only required because your nurse made a mistake on the [first date]. If she had not made a mistake, I wouldn’t have come in for that appointment.”

Billing: “I understand, sir, but since you came in for the second appointment, then we need to bill you for that appointment. Since your insurance covered everything but the copay, you have to pay that copay.”

Me: “Let me explain again. On the first appointment, your nurse made a mistake. She gave me the wrong injection. I had to come in for the second appointment only because she made a mistake. If she had not made the mistake, I wouldn’t have come back in.”

Billing: “It doesn’t matter; you still have to pay.”

Me: *getting frustrated now* “Okay, let me ask you this another way. After your nurse made a mistake the first time, I could have gone to a lawyer, or filed a complaint against your practice. Also, I could have filed a complaint with my insurance provider, since you have actually billed them twice for getting the same injection. I did none of those things. So your choice is to now credit my account for the copay, or my next call will be to the medical practice board, and then my insurance company.”

Billing: “One moment, please.” *puts me on hold for about five minutes then comes back* “I’ve talked to the doctor. We are going to waive that copay, but we will not do it again for any further visits.”

(After that call I found a new doctor. No surprise, his practice went out of business a few months later. I know people complain how everyone is lawsuit-happy nowadays. You’d think if you had a patient who wasn’t interested in going the legal route but just didn’t want to be charged for their mistake they would happily oblige. I guess not.)

Always Getting A Stony Reception
Emergency Services, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, Patients, UK | Healthy | August 27, 2018
(I’m 22 years old, female, and reasonably healthy for my age while living away at university. When I’m home at my parents for Christmas, I suddenly get a sharp pain in the centre of my chest, radiating out to the centre of my right rib cage. It’s not too severe at first, but I cannot walk straight and end up laying on the floor for two hours.)

Mom: *sitting on my bed, trying to keep me calm, talking to the out-of-hours telephone service, as well* “This pain has never happened before; I’m not really sure what to do here.”

Phone Responder: “All right, there’s not much we can do, unfortunately; judging by your description it could be a diaphragm spasm or a fructose allergy causing the tightness. You can give her pain relief, but all we can recommend is to call your GP in the morning.”

Mom: “All right, thank you.”

(Thankfully, the pain passes in about three hours, so we figure it’s a one-time thing and continue our lives. I get more pains, like this one and worse, about two or three times a year until I’m 24, where I finally go to my GP after a particularly bad “attack” where I end up vomiting from the pain.)

Me: *describes the symptoms in detail* “I was speaking to a family friend who’s had gallstones and says she had the same pains. Could it be that?”

Doctor: “Hmm, I doubt it; you’re simply too young and too healthy for it. It’s probably acid reflux. Try some [Known Heartburn Brand] for a while and see how you get on with that.”

(I leave and do as he asks, and for a while it seems to work… until this year at the age of 25. I have a pain so bad I begin violently vomiting, begging my mom to call an ambulance because I’m convinced something inside me has ruptured because of the severity of the pain. She does, and thankfully they arrive within minutes. I’m unable to talk because of the pain, so my mom is the one having to describe everything.)

Mom: *helping me explain the pain and pointing where it is on her own body, since I’m curled up into a ball on the bathroom floor* “She’s had these pains before, but never this bad. We don’t like to bother emergency services unless it’s severe.”

Paramedic: “We’ll try paracetamol and [heartburn medicine] first to see if that helps. Is that okay?”

(I nod, and the paramedics do as they promised, but after 20 minutes the pain is still worsening and I’m not able to think on anything else anymore. I can’t breathe, I feel like I’m dying or I’m going to pass out, and it’s overall a terrifying experience.)

Paramedic: “All right, since that’s not helping we’re going to give her some gas and air until we can move her over to the bed and check her over, okay?”

Mom: “That’s fine; she’s definitely not allergic to anything, so she can have whatever is needed.”

(Thankfully, the gas and air dulls the pain enough for me to get off the bathroom floor onto my bed, but it’s still severe and I’m shivering from the intensity. The paramedics do all their checks, pressing on the area with the pain, which causes me to cry again.)

Paramedic: “I think she’s got something wrong with her gallbladder. It’s unusual for her age, but it’s the only explanation for this pain and the area of it. I think it would be wise for her to go to hospital to check for sludge stuck in there or stones.”

(My mom agreed, but I insisted that she stay home so she didn’t have to see me in pain anymore. Once I was in the ambulance, I was also given morphine and some anti-vomiting medicine, as I was still being sick. At the hospital, the pain was starting to fade and eventually the emergency room nurse discharged me with the diagnosis of stress from just finishing university. I was tired, delirious, and fed up at this point, so even though I tried to argue, I didn’t have the strength and I left. I went back to my GP a few weeks later, and with a note from the ambulance team included in my file with their suspicions, and my mom not letting me leave without an answer, I was booked in for an ultrasound and a blood test. The ultrasound revealed I had some of the biggest gallstones the staff had ever seen in someone of my age, and I’m now waiting on surgery to remove my entire gallbladder. Just because someone doesn’t match the “average” symptom group doesn’t mean it’s absolutely not that illness, and if I had been listened to in the first place, I wouldn’t be losing my gallbladder!)

A Teeth-Grinding Generalization
Dentist, Doctor/Physician, Instant Karma, Jerk, Nurses, USA | Healthy | August 27, 2018
(I haven’t been to the dentist for several years, but an old family friend — who cleaned my teeth when I was a child — has recently moved to the area, so I go to her for a cleaning. The following takes place with her hands and tools inside my mouth, so I can’t spit.)

Hygienist: “You really need to brush your rear teeth better. I know you can, because they’re clean right now. But your lazy brushing has caused all sorts of problems back here. And you really need to lay off the soda. Really, sugar in general. And high-acid foods and drinks. Soda is pretty much the worst, though. And greasy food isn’t much better! You clearly eat too much fast food, and it’s not good for you. Your back teeth are just falling apart because of all that junk food!”

(Her tirade continues for more than ten minutes. She lectures me like I’m still a child despite that I’m in my mid-20s, before she finally removes her hands so I can pause to rinse and spit. She immediately reaches to start again, but I hold up a hand.)

Me: “We need to get something straight. I don’t eat high-acid foods, or greasy foods. I can’t afford to eat out, even cheap fast food. And I have soda maybe once a month. And while I don’t claim to be perfect, and do occasionally forget to brush before bed when I’m exhausted, I am meticulous about cleaning all my teeth, especially the molars. The reason why they’re so bad off is that I have severe acid reflux. I have had it my whole life. I even had an ulcer a few years back. That’s why I can’t eat any of that crap, and why I can’t help my teeth being somewhat decalcified. Until my doctor and I get the reflux under control, there’s nothing I can do to improve my teeth.”

(I sat back, opened wide, and let her resume cleaning. She was silent for a few minutes, before softly starting to catch me up on the doings of her own kids, who I hadn’t seen in years and was glad to hear about. The rest of the appointment went smoothly after that, and the dentist was informed of my reflux before walking into the room, so he didn’t repeat her mistake. I ended up needing all five of my wisdom teeth removed — apparently I had an extra one — due to extreme decalcification. They were honestly getting spongy by that point. But the visit ended well, and I still go back to the same folks, sans lectures now.)

Some Pathetically Idiotic Understanding
Hospital, Missouri, Stupid, USA, Wordplay | Healthy | August 26, 2018
(I am sitting in the waiting room, hoping my ankle isn’t broken, when I overhear this

Mom: *to dad, dragging her five-year-old girl behind her* “Yeah, the doctor said it was just idiot pathetic vomiting. We have to come in if she tries it again.”

(It took me a while to figure out this lady was trying to pronounce, “idiopathic,” meaning, “of unknown cause.” That poor kid!)

They Need A Head Doctor
Australia, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Stupid | Healthy | August 25, 2018
(I work at the main information and patient enquiries desk for a major hospital. I get asked the full range of questions, some often way out of my scope of knowledge, but I try my best to at least point people in the right direction! People often give me very few details of what they want and just assume I will read their mind. I cannot check patients in for appointments; I must direct them to the clinic they are seeing.)

Me: “Good morning! How can I help you?”

Visitor: “[Last Name].”

Me: “Is that an inpatient you’re looking for?”

Visitor: “I have an appointment. [Last Name].”

Me: “Okay, what type of specialist are you seeing?”

Visitor: “[Last Name].”

Me: “Okay, I don’t need your name, just what type of doctor you’re seeing. What’s it for? Your heart? Bones? Lungs?”

Visitor: “[Last Name].”

Visitor’s Friend: “1:30.”

Me: *to friend* “What type of specialist?”

Visitor’s Friend: “[Last Name].”

Me: *trying so very hard to remain calm* “What. Kind. Of. Doctor?”

Visitor’s Friend: “Oh! I’m not sure. Hang on; let me check the paperwork…”

Read And Bleed
Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Norway, Patients, Stupid | Healthy | August 24, 2018
(I’m rather clumsy, and this time it lands me in the ER. The doctor that’s checking me out is actually my neighbor.)

Doctor: “All right, what did you do this time?”

Me: “Well, I woke up and wanted to finish reading my book from yesterday, but I wanted to make breakfast, as well, so I walked downstairs whilst reading, and I kind of fell…”

Doctor: *long pause* “At least you read, right?”

(I managed to break a bone in my arm, and needed a cast.)

Sleeping On The Job
Australia, Bizarre, Hospital, Time | Healthy | August 22, 2018
(I work on a switchboard for a major hospital. We take all external and internal calls then direct them to the appropriate department.)

Me: “Good morning, [Hospital].”

Caller: “Hi, can I speak with someone about rescheduling my appointment?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you will need to speak to the outpatients department, and they do not open until nine am; you will have to call back a bit later!”

Caller: “Oh, what time is it now?”

Me: “It’s 8:15.”

Caller: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise it was so early! I hope I didn’t wake you, did I?”

Me: “Um… No?”

(Yes, he was completely serious; he continued on the conversation as normal after that! I’ll never know if it was just an instinctive reaction for him to say that, or if he genuinely thinks we sleep when there are no calls?)

Nursing Your Unrealistic Expectations
Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Illinois, Impossible Demands, Nurses, Patients, USA | Healthy | August 20, 2018
(I am an NCT — a nursing care tech — basically one rung down from a nurse. We check vitals, help transport patients for surgeries or procedures, track their progress and double-check their treatment plans, help patients shower or get to the bathroom, and generally make sure that nurses and patients have what they need, and that none of the patients are showing signs of any impending medical problems or complications. We are legally not allowed to give medicine, administer treatments, contact patient family members for any reason, or give medical advice. All of this information is told to the patients when they arrive, and is in the information packet all the patients are given, along with a flow chart about who to call for what problem. Additionally, in my hospital, all NCTs wear green scrubs, all nurses wear blue, and all doctors wear white. This patient, who has been here for about a week and a half, calls me in.)

Patient: “My back feels just awful. Could you go get my next dose of painkillers a little early?”

Me: “I’m not allowed to give you any medications, I’m afraid. I can go get your nurse, though, or you can call her with this number on the board. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Patient: “Well, can you adjust my IV at least?”

Me: “I can’t do that, either; I’ll have to grab your nurse.”

Patient: “What about my sister? Did you call her with the new care plan?”

Me: “That’s also the nurse; I can’t contact your family.”

Patient: “Well, what about my diagnosis? What do you think I should do?”

Me: “I’m not allowed to offer any medical advice, either. Let me call your nurse, okay? She’ll be able to help you with all of this.”

Patient: “But aren’t you going to help me?!”

Halfway House Only Gets You Halfway There
Charity, Connecticut, Emergency Services, Stupid, USA | Healthy | August 19, 2018
(I’m an EMT. My partner and I are called to a homeless shelter/halfway house for a “sick call.” This means a non-life-threatening issue. We arrive and unload the stretcher. There’s about ten stairs and a small elevator right inside the door. I start to open the door of the elevator when I’m greeted by staff.)

Staff: “You’re going to the second floor. Oh, that elevator doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay. Do you have another one?”

Staff: “Sure, it’s up here around the corner.”

Me: “Great. How can I access it?”

Staff: “Come on up the stairs and go to the end of the hall.”

Me: “That’s not going to work. Do you have another access point? A ramp, maybe?”

Staff: “We have an elevator around the corner here.”

Me: “That’s great, but if this elevator doesn’t work, how am I going to get my stretcher to the second floor?”

Staff: *exasperated* “There’s an elevator right over here! Right around the corner.”

Me: “I understand that. But how would you like me to get my stretcher up these stairs to get to that elevator?”

Staff: *blank stare*

Me: *to my partner* “Let’s just leave it here, see the patient, and figure it out from there.”

(When we got to the other elevator it was so small our stretcher wouldn’t have fit, anyway, even if we folded the back.)

Halfway House Only Gets You Halfway There
Charity, Connecticut, Emergency Services, Stupid, USA | Healthy | August 19, 2018
(I’m an EMT. My partner and I are called to a homeless shelter/halfway house for a “sick call.” This means a non-life-threatening issue. We arrive and unload the stretcher. There’s about ten stairs and a small elevator right inside the door. I start to open the door of the elevator when I’m greeted by staff.)

Staff: “You’re going to the second floor. Oh, that elevator doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay. Do you have another one?”

Staff: “Sure, it’s up here around the corner.”

Me: “Great. How can I access it?”

Staff: “Come on up the stairs and go to the end of the hall.”

Me: “That’s not going to work. Do you have another access point? A ramp, maybe?”

Staff: “We have an elevator around the corner here.”

Me: “That’s great, but if this elevator doesn’t work, how am I going to get my stretcher to the second floor?”

Staff: *exasperated* “There’s an elevator right over here! Right around the corner.”

Me: “I understand that. But how would you like me to get my stretcher up these stairs to get to that elevator?”

Staff: *blank stare*

Me: *to my partner* “Let’s just leave it here, see the patient, and figure it out from there.”

(When we got to the other elevator it was so small our stretcher wouldn’t have fit, anyway, even if we folded the back.)